Just hook ups and talks
by livbishop
Summary: Sequel to "Give this tease a break". Sebastian struggles with his cynical side to open himself up to Kurt. Sebastian's POV.
1. Chapter 1

Hi guys! I'm back!

Apparently I can't stay away from Kurtbastian for too long lol... This chapter has been tickling me for weeks now. After some consideration, I think you guys were right - the story needed a sequel! The final chapter was too open, maybe. And also, I think I didn't get to write as much fluff as I wanted haha so... probably this fic will take more time, and the updates might be somewhat slower but... I hope you enjoy it for as long as I feel able to keep writing ^^

P.s. I don't own Glee.

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><p>As it was getting pretty frequent these days, Kurt's alarm woke Sebastian up. Sebastian groaned, annoyed, while his body complained loudly for the little rest it had got. Then, as he was about to murmur something rude about Vogue and how they enjoyed exploiting their interns, Sebastian felt Kurt's body making little efforts to stretch below him, soft and warm.<p>

He opened an eye and peeked discretely at Kurt's attempts to not fall asleep again. The boy couldn't even open his eyes, his lips puckered into some kind of childish pout, but his face showed how he kept struggling to wake up.

Sebastian had to bite his lower lip to contain a chuckle. Kurt was such a grumpy person in the mornings. He looked like a giant baby annoyed by the lack of sleep.

Almost unconsciously, Sebastian wrapped his arms around Kurt's torso and decided to give the boy a hand. His lips started pacing Kurt's upper half, from his navel to his chest, and Kurt's body got immediately somewhat tense at the touch.

Kurt managed to open one eye and gave him a _what-the-fuck-u-doin'-man_ glare. Sebastian ignored it, and started kissing Kurt's neck instead.

Kurt groaned now, annoyed. "Bas-we-don't-have-time-for-this" he mumbled on a single breath, making almost impossible to understand what he was saying.

But Sebastian already knew Kurt's response. It was the same than any other morning when they slept together during the week. Kurt couldn't help but being reluctant at first, all sleepy and grumpy; then, Sebastian would charm his way through Kurt's mood and make Kurt's body respond instead.

So, naturally, Sebastian ignored that too, and started working his tongue all the way up Kurt's neck, until he reached his earlobe, where he'd be more thorough. It was fair enough, since it was one of Kurt's favourite spots. Sebastian did all that while squeezing Kurt's thigh gently, merely playing with the inner part of it until he reached Kurt's crotch and confirmed, quite pleased, that Kurt's body was being responsive.

Sebastian immediately parted Kurt's legs, wrapped them around his own waist and started to thrust inside Kurt lazily.

Kurt opened his eyes completely then, equally aroused and startled. He wrapped his arms around Sebastian's back and took a hold on his skin, panting.

Kurt's morning orgasms were completely different from his nightly ones, Sebastian had learnt. Kurt's face looked harmless, almost as if they were doing it for the first time, and his eyes couldn't quite focus on a particular spot until they were locked with Sebastian's. Then, the boy wouldn't look away until they both had come.

Sebastian kissed Kurt's cheek, softly, running his nose all the way down to Kurt's jawbone to bite it gently. Then, when Kurt's moans became more frantic and messy, he searched for his _beautiful_, piercing blue eyes and dived on them.

He smiled against Kurt's lips, greeting them with warm, wet pecks, while his eyes never left the stare. Kurt returned the smile and mouthed Sebastian's cheek mindlessly, not even kissing him anymore. His mouth had gone numb. _I lost him_, Sebastian thought amused, but then he felt Kurt's hand running up his spine to grasp his back hair.

_Fuck_, Sebastian locked eyes with Kurt again and there it was: that almost imperceptible tickle on Kurt's pupils whenever he was about to come. It was so shy, so small, so kind somehow, that it always made Sebastian lose focus for a moment. It made him feel as if Kurt was asking for his help, or maybe his protection, and he always reacted kissing Kurt's temples and holding him tighter, closer.

Not long after that, Kurt's cum was all over Sebastian's belly, warm and fresh, making Sebastian weirdly proud. Instead of tumbling down like other times, Kurt cupped his face and whispered: "Come _babe_, come" with the gentlest, most honest tone Sebastian had ever heard. Somehow, Kurt managed to sound dirty and sweet at the same time whenever they were in bed, and it was gonna ruin Sebastian, _he knew it_, because it was fucking addictive.

Sebastian came, hard and exhausted, inevitably tumbling down over Kurt's body. His mind, his senses, the whole of his neurological receptors shut off, leaving him with a feeling of wildness he loved to embrace. All he felt was his own heart beating dangerously fast against Kurt's chest, and said boy's hands drawing soothing circles on his back.

Eventually, Sebastian recovered his cool and smiled against Kurt's skin, his whole body filled with a sensation that didn't feel much like arousal anymore. It felt like _home_. Like finding his place. Like…

"Bas… Not to kill the mood, but I've got to hit the shower now" Sebastian heard Kurt's doubtful voice, and he remembered he was trapping Kurt, as usual.

With no little effort, summoning all his will, Sebastian got off Kurt and laid beside him, catching his breath.

His mind was still kind of a blur for the orgasm, but thankfully it dissipated enough to let him feel and perceive Kurt's final kiss on his lips before the boy got up and left his bedroom.

Sebastian put as much energy as he could into the kiss even though it was brief as hell. He groaned when Kurt left, annoyed for the morning rush; then looked at Kurt's wall watch and froze. Kurt would be so mad at him when he noticed the hour. Or maybe he had noticed already, but had chosen to let it be?

Sebastian got up smiling – he had opted for the last possibility – and hurried into the kitchen, putting on Kurt's apron. He'd make up for making Kurt be late with a sinful breakfast.

Only last week, Kurt had been late to work twice, and there was someone to blame: Sebastian. Every time he ended up convincing Kurt to spend the night together, Kurt would always spend a very stressful morning as a result.

But there was nothing to do about it; not really. There was no way Sebastian would be deprived of their morning quickies. Which were never _that _quick, truth to be told. But Sebastian suspected Kurt was growing as enthusiast as he was of those.

Sebastian heard the bathroom door and observed a completely dressed up and hair-styled Kurt preparing to hurry to his bedroom when the boy stopped on his tracks. He turned around and looked at Sebastian. Sebastian quickly minded the burners, playing dumb.

Sebastian heard Kurt approaching him with a steady rhythm but suddenly stopping before reaching him. Sebastian couldn't help the smile that crept up his lips when he realised Kurt was taking in his outfit. He was _only_ wearing the apron. Nothing else.

Sebastian turned around, pretending to be looking for the butter over the table when his eyes met Kurt, who just stood there, awkwardly observing Sebastian, frozen-like.

Sebastian shot him a cheeky smile. "Good morning, stud" he said provocatively, then chuckled quietly and turned around again, towards the burner.

"Good morning" Kurt mumbled clumsily on Sebastian's back, but remained still.

Sebastian turned his neck and observed Kurt with amusement. "I'm making you breakfast" he said with an unintentionally suggestive tone. _Dammit_, he had aimed at being sweet, but having forgotten to use his underwear and knowing that Kurt was somewhat affected by this, there was no way Sebastian could dismiss a chance to unsettle Kurt's cool.

Kurt approached him and folded his arms. "Bas, I-… _thank you_, but you know I can't stay and have breakfast with you. I'm already late!" he protested, somewhat stressed.

Sebastian cleaned his hands on a cloth, eyeing Kurt cautiously. He dropped the cloth then and broke the distance between them very slowly, calculatedly placing his hands on Kurt's waist and stroking it. He smiled playfully and brought his lips to Kurt's neck, giving him a lingering, smooth peck.

"Of course you can" Sebastian whispered. "I'm pretty sure I burnt all your batteries, babe. Breakfast is the least I could do" he chuckled cheekily.

Kurt gave Sebastian a tired look, but his hands were already caressing Sebastian's arms. "This is _so _not fair" Kurt lamented on a whisper. "Even your clothes' choice was consciously picked to make it hard for me to say no" he complained.

Sebastian placed another kiss on Kurt's neck, this time wetter, right below his ear.

Kurt shivered and break the hold. Sebastian didn't love it, but… he knew Kurt only had a limited amount of patience and he was dangerously ending it. So he chose to smile innocently and let it be.

"_Okay_. I'm having breakfast, but we don't have time for _this_ now" Kurt stated, trying to sound firm and authoritarian. Sebastian noticed it with amusement and slapped Kurt's butt. Then he couldn't help but squeeze it, making the boy shiver again.

"Fine" Sebastian added, to ease Kurt, and slowly tried to stop eye-devouring him.

Kurt casted him a grateful smile and awkwardly retrieved Sebastian's hand from his butt. Sebastian rolled his eyes and turned around, minding the burner again.

Kurt sat down on a stool and took out his phone, sighing defeated. Sebastian gave him a brief look, wondering if he'd be texting Isabelle, or if he was simply bored, having to wait for him to finish the cooking.

Sebastian hurried anyway, and planted a plate of eggs, bacon and beans in front of Kurt. Kurt eyed the plate, a fond smile gracing his _soft _lips, then looked up at Sebastian and smiled without reservations. Sebastian returned the smile, but narrowed his eyes at him. What was that excited look Kurt was giving him?

"Come here" Kurt grabbed Sebastian's apron and lifted himself up a bit on the stool to meet Sebastian's lips. He rewarded Sebastian's good deed with affectionate pecks, and Sebastian couldn't help but chuckle idiotically.

_Yeah_, his good deed had been _totally _worth it.

Sebastian sat next to Kurt, on another stool, and handed Kurt over the newspaper in silence, while he minded his own plate of food. He knew Kurt liked having his breakfast in silence while reading the news, so he would not dare to disturb him right now.

Sebastian noticed Kurt was looking at him, though. Not at the paper. He returned the look, kind of confused.

"You're getting ridiculously cute" Kurt commented on a casual tone, but he was smirking knowingly.

Sebastian winced, putting down his fork and throwing his head backwards. "Is this how you pay me?" he casted Kurt a falsely resented look and Kurt smiled wider, but pretended to ignore him looking at the paper intensely; so intensely that he could actually be studying it.

_Fair enough_, Sebastian thought, and resumed eating.

/

Sebastian was dreading next week. It would mark the return of Sam and Santana, and it meant Kurt and he would no longer have the apartment for themselves.

Not that he was living there. He still had his own apartment, of course he had, but he dreaded it too. It reminded him too much of his grandfather, and he didn't feel completely at ease being there.

_I could get a job, though_, he thought in the middle of the most boring class he had ever attended, Pharma. But he had never worked before, and he was pretty sure he could only get some lame job as a waiter, like Kurt had been forced to do at the diner.

He yawned. _Man_, he was too used to have things come his way and he knew it. He didn't think it was his fault, though. His parents had always spoiled him mindlessly, giving him everything he wanted and never teaching him the importance of anything.

Sebastian puckered his lips, uncomfortably. He knew he hadn't earned his apartment. Just like he hadn't earned the expensive clothes he was wearing. It unsettled him.

His mind wandered off briefly towards Kurt. Gayface sure was the most dedicated person he knew. He had been working ever since he came to New York, and now he even had a job he liked. _He deserves it_, Sebastian thought, unconsciously smiling.

It still made him feel uneasy, though, what he and Kurt had. Ever since he had come back from France, almost one month ago, everything had speeded up. And Sebastian had been unable to stop it. Every time he was around Kurt, his solely concern in the world was to make the boy happy. He shook his head, annoyed.

Who said he was able to make anyone happy? He wasn't even sure he was able to make himself. But Kurt did, make him happy – if 'happiness' was actually an apprehensible concept, which Sebastian doubted, unable to repress his cynical side.

_Thank God_, Sebastian thought victoriously when the bell rang and he was able to breathe fresh air again. The relief was short, though, because that only meant he had Chemistry now. _Fuck_. Why had he come to class today, again? _Oh, right_. The Theatre Club had its first meeting today.

/

Sebastian went to the auditorium and found some familiar faces talking animatedly to each other. He recognised most of those, but there were some faces missing – graduate students. Which unsettled Sebastian, because that meant there was no one in charge of the club anymore.

"Bastian!" John greeted him with a quick hug. John was a brunet boy Sebastian had become sort of friends with a few months ago and learnt, much to his surprise (the boy was quite flirty), that he was straight. And that might have turned out for the better, considering how short his list of real friends was.

"Hey!" Sebastian greeted him back. "Where's Amy?" he wondered out loud, since the redhead girl was almost all the time all over his boyfriend.

John casted Sebastian an awkward smile. "I guess she doesn't really like theatre" he joked.

Sebastian arched an eyebrow at him. "What?"

"We broke up – _she _broke up with me, to be more specific" the brunet had the humour to admit. "It was for the best" he shook his head, trying to dismiss the subject. "Anyway, you've heard about the new guy?"

Sebastian looked around, amused. "Which one?" he asked. He had already counted three new additions to the club.

"Oh, he's not coming until next week" John told him. "He's a transfer from Texas, and apparently has quite a reputation."

_That _got Sebastian's attention. "Oh, really – what kind of reputation?" he couldn't help but ask on a suggestive tone.

John rolled his eyes at him. "Not the one you're thinking, dumbass – he made his Broadway debut this summer."

"That's impressive" Sebastian conceded. "What is he doing here, then?" he asked, maliciously.

"He cares about his education?" John asked rhetorically. "I don't know – it wouldn't be so weird" the boy said, always guessing the best out of people.

"Right" Sebastian said sarcastically. "I'm gonna need a name, Johnny" he said, gaining a wince from his friend.

"Ew, don't call me that!" John protested. "I swear I've never met someone who enjoyed so much using nicknames, God" he complained.

Sebastian chuckled. That was probably true. Kurt loved his nicknames, though.

A smug looking guy passed by John and him then, handing them over a pamphlet. Sebastian took it distractedly, but the guy wouldn't let go of it. Sebastian raised his eyes, confused, and met the other boy's.

The guy was giving him an intense, anything but innocent look, and had his lips curled up on a suggestive smirk. His hair was gelled, styled backwards, and his shirt, Rolex and strong cologne screamed 'rich boy'. And 'gay'.

The moment they locked eyes, the boy let go of the pamphlet and passed between Sebastian and John, giving Sebastian the chance to take a good look at his backside.

_Nice butt_, Sebastian thought and smiled pleased. _Very nice... _Now he would at least have something nice to watch during rehearsals.

"God – you gays are so obvious is almost boring" John complained, making Sebastian chuckle.

"He's a freshman – let him be" Sebastian protested, remembering how excited he had been when coming to the city for the first time and being new at NYU, with all those hungry eyes looking at him all the time.

"No, _you_ let him be" John pointed a finger at him, in a warning way. "We'll have to see him all year, so you better not screw him. I don't want a Kyle rerun" John told him.

Sebastian arched his eyebrows in surprise at that. "It wasn't that bad, you drama queen" he protested, amused, and his eyes wandered briefly towards Kyle, who was sitting beside the piano with a bunch of new kids.

_Yeah_, truth to be told, Kyle hadn't been his finest moment. The guy had been the sweetest, and Sebastian had known it from the beginning – yet he had screwed him and ignored him completely the next day. He still felt kind of guilty about that.

"Besides" Sebastian added, "I'm not screwing people around anymore" he defended himself, although he wasn't quite sure why. It wasn't anyone's business. Plus, _wait a minute_. Since when he wasn't screwing people around?

"Oh you're not?" John asked, clearly amused at Sebastian's dubious expression.

Sebastian scratched his neck, awkwardly. "I guess I'm not" he tried to say casually, but John was already chuckling.

"Who's the unlucky one?" John asked, maliciously.

Sebastian kicked his foot. "You knew him – at Homecoming party" he said, annoyed that John hadn't made the connection. It wasn't like Sebastian brought people to parties all the time.

"Oh" John made, surprised. "Kurt, wasn't it?" he said, and he actually looked like he remembered Kurt.

Sebastian nodded, pleased. "Remember that fine piece of ass?" John made a disgusted face. "Now – why would I want to screw around when I can screw _that_ whenever I want?" Sebastian joked, but couldn't hide the cheeky smirk that crept up his lips.

"Oh, sounds like a keeper" John joked too, laughing.

Sebastian laughed along, then felt weirdly guilty for the way he had depicted Kurt: _a_ _fine piece of ass_. "But you do remember him, right? I mean, you liked him, didn't you?" he added, on a clumsy attempt to make clear that Kurt was much more than that. He actually was a keeper, but for a whole different reason. He was… well, he was Kurt.

John narrowed down his eyes at Sebastian, with a surprised yet confused smile gracing his lips. "Of course I did. He spoke fondly of you" the brunet explained on a mysterious tone that let see that there was more to it than he had said.

Sebastian's heart-beating got funky. "Did he?" He let slip the question.

John nodded. "Yeah, lovebird" he punched Sebastian playfully. "I found it a little weird that you'd bring someone like him to the party, but… yeah, the guy seemed legit" he shrugged.

Sebastian folded his arms, curiosity taking the best of him. "Why did you find it weird?" he asked confused, but mostly angry that someone would think Kurt was a weird choice as a plus one for him.

John chuckled, amused. "Oh, come on, Seb!" he protested. "Don't be like that! The guy was so obviously into you – it just seemed weird to me that you'd be okay with that."

"With someone being into me?" Sebastian asked rhetorically. "Oh, sorry if I appreciate the idea of someone liking me" he said kind of harshly. Did that make him a narcissistic? Knowing that Kurt liked him? Or was John as certain as he was that he did not deserve someone like Kurt?

"Not just liking you" John cut his train of thoughts. "More like, in love with you, I'd say" he shrugged again.

Sebastian knew that John was simply making an observation, based on what he knew of Sebastian, and he could really not resent that. But it somehow hurt anyway.

"Those are big words" Sebastian said, more to himself than to John. "You shouldn't take them lightly" he told John off.

"I don't" John told him, gentler now.

"Neither do I" Sebastian said back.

He felt selfish, once again. Maybe he hadn't earned Kurt's affection either. Just like he hadn't earned his apartment, or the clothes he was wearing.

Everything had happened so fast. Seriously, what had he done to make Kurt so certain that he, Sebastian Smythe, deserved to be loved? Those were big words indeed, and Sebastian had certainly not taken them lightly. That conversation had stuck with him, making him revalue every day the way he had been looking at the world so far.

His daily struggle, every day now, was to make sure Kurt didn't regret and take back his words. In the meantime, if he could figure out a way to actually _believe_ those words, double win. But those were too good to be true.

"Hey, looks like Andy is here" John pointed at the boy, who came in the auditorium talking cheerily to another newbie.

Sebastian couldn't help but tense up his fist and closed it tightly. He had made the mental resolution to ignore the blondie, but it wouldn't be easy considering that they shared the same friends at theatre club.

He nodded as in to tell John that he had acknowledged Andy's presence but decided to go talk to someone else instead.

/

Around 7 p.m., Sebastian was suffering traffic while he headed to Kurt's place. It occurred to him, all of a sudden, that he hadn't even checked with Kurt if they were supposed to spend the night together again. Maybe four days on a row was a little too much.

He phoned Kurt and put the speaker on.

"Hey" Kurt answered after a few rings, with a dozed off voice.

"Hey, handsome" Sebastian greeted him, energetically. He was probably less tired than Kurt was. "How are you doing?"

Sebastian heard Kurt sigh then, and couldn't help but felt a little uneasy. "I'm uh-" the boy started to talk, but he sounded kind of distracted.

"You okay?" Sebastian's tone got slightly concerned. _Thank God I didn't come unannounced._

"I'm on a weird mood" Kurt admitted, calmly.

They fell in silence, and Sebastian wondered whether it was a good idea to come over.

"You want to be alone or…?" Sebastian finally broke the silence, dubious, but firm nonetheless. He was only five minutes away from Bushwick, but Kurt didn't need to know that.

"Oh- no, no, I'm good" Kurt stated frantically. It was almost as if he didn't want Sebastian to think for a second that he didn't want him to come over. Sebastian smiled. "Besides, I'm not alone" Kurt added, confusingly. "Sam came back" he explained.

Sebastian remained silent for a moment. _Fuck_. He thought they still had one more week. "… Should I buy him earplugs?" He chuckled.

Kurt chuckled too, making that innocent, cheery noise that didn't fail to get under Sebastian's skin, making his chest finally deflate and let go of the haunting worries. "He can borrow mines – don't worry" Kurt said, and he sounded better now, more awake. Sebastian smiled, pleased.

"Hurry up home, meerkat" Kurt suddenly said on a sigh, making Sebastian's stomach tingle.

_Home_. Had Kurt just implied his apartment was _home_? Sebastian gulped down, trying to hide his excitement. It felt like home to him too.

"I'm almost there" Sebastian assured him kindly.

/

"Hey!"

Sebastian heard a familiar voice greeting him from across the street. He turned around and saw Sam waving his hand at him. He waved back, but couldn't help the groan that left his throat. _Why did he come back so soon? _He wondered, annoyed.

"Hey" Sam repeated when he had crossed the street and caught Sebastian.

"Hey, Sam" Sebastian said back, unaffected.

Sam patted his back then, making Sebastian wince. He tried to disguise it with a smile and helping Sam with the brown bags he was carrying.

"So you're back" Sebastian commented, waiting for the boy to take out his keys.

Sam smiled brightly. "Yeah" he agreed, animatedly. "I'm not sure for how long, though" Sam added, lowering down his tone.

"Oh… is that so?" Sebastian asked, trying to sound casual, but he was dying to know for how long he will have to worry about having Kurt's roommates around.

Sam opened the door and held it for Sebastian. He nodded, but it didn't look like he wanted to talk about it. "So – you and Kurt, huh?" he changed the subject drastically. "I'm glad you guys are still dating" Sam grinned, looking genuinely glad indeed.

Sebastian felt a shiver down his spine. _Dating_. He wasn't even sure they had gone on a single proper date together. Sebastian knew he wasn't the brightest at figuring these things out, but he had always thought they just hooked up and _talked_. That was what made it different for him. That they actually talked. But they didn't _date_.

He smiled awkwardly but said nothing. They reached the elevator and fell in silence. Sebastian looked down, wishing time would go faster, because he could feel Sam's piercing look on his nape.

"Dude" Sam called him.

Sebastian returned the look, reluctantly, and found a dubious Sam narrowing his eyes at him. Sebastian gulped down, somewhat nervous.

"Never mind" Sam muttered and shook his head, as the elevator doors opened.

Sebastian sighed with relief, then caught a glimpse of his pale reflection on the mirror before leaving the elevator and froze. Was that freaked out guy really him? What was that about? He mentally slapped himself. _Enough is enough, asshole_.

He hurried to catch Sam at the apartment door, and soon enough he saw Kurt laying on the couch, looking really sleepy. He had set the table for three, meaning they would be having dinner with Sam, but he was wearing his most worn out pyjamas and his hair looked wet, not even hair-styled. Not that Sebastian cared, but he knew Kurt enough by now to know that was Kurt's depressed-look.

Apparently the noise from the door awakened Kurt, because he startled and locked eyes with Sebastian, making Sebastian unable not to smile widely. Sebastian rushed to meet him on the couch. He sat down right next to Kurt (not that he was marking his territory, but… oh well, Sam could take the chair) and grabbed Kurt's legs to place them over his own lap.

"Look who didn't even have the energy to look nice to greet his man" Sebastian joked, smirking cheekily.

Kurt pouted and slapped Sebastian's arm. "I'm showered and I smell nicely" Kurt complained, playing along. "That means nothing to you?" He chuckled, tiredly.

Sam snorted, placing the food and drinks on the table.

Sebastian glared at him not very nicely, but the blond didn't notice it.

Sebastian gave up on his glare and gave Kurt his undivided attention once again. "You're feeling better?" He asked, feeling weirdly concerned.

Kurt smiled, a glimpse of surprise on his eyes. Sebastian gulped down. _Right_, Kurt had simply said he was on a weird mood – he hadn't even said he was feeling anxious, or sad.

Kurt nodded, though, and Sebastian brought his fingertips to play with Kurt's tip toes.

Sebastian felt Kurt relax next to him. His expression got softer, calmer, Sebastian observed, and before he could realise, they were staring at each other in silence. Suddenly all seemed so simple it was ridiculous. They just clicked. Effortlessly, most of the time.

Sam sat down on a chair then, making Kurt react, who sat up properly too. Sebastian did the same, reluctantly, and they started eating.

Kurt was unusually quiet, Sebastian noticed, and after a few minutes he decided to carry the weight of the conversation with Sam.

"So… how's Lima?" Sebastian asked, trying to make small talk.

Sam arched an eyebrow at him.

Something told Sebastian that Kurt and Sam were on a similar mood, but he didn't know which mood that was quite yet.

"Lima?" Sam asked, confused.

Sebastian smirked, somewhat amused at Sam's facial expressions. The boy was so expressive. "That's not where you've been?"

Sam chuckled. "Oh, no, man. I'm not from Lima" he explained. "I mean, I've lived there, you know? But my parents live in Kentucky."

"Oh" Sebastian took that in. There was a gap on his brain where 'Sam's living situation' was supposed to be. Kurt had told him some stuff about it, but he still did not quite get the whole story. "How's Kentucky, then?" he asked instead.

Sam smiled. "Good" he nodded. "Stevie and Stacy are getting terribly-"

Sebastian couldn't help but log off. That should keep the boy talking for at least a few minutes, and he'd just have to nod along. He gave Kurt a brief look instead, who kept minding his own bowl of noodles, distracted.

Sebastian placed his right hand on Kurt's knee and squeezed it, making Kurt's bubble explode. He looked up right at Sam.

"Rachel?" Kurt asked, confused.

"Oh, yeah- I saw her in L.A." Sam explained. "I forgot to mention it" Sam scratched his nape.

"L.A.?" Sebastian asked, confused now.

"Dude! I was just telling you!" Sam complained, but resumed talking anyway. "I had a few meetings with some agencies and… well, I gave her a call too" he commented, shyly.

"How is she?" Kurt asked, smiling already. "Is she coming anytime soon?"

"I don't think so" Sam shook his head. "They already wrapped the pilot but she's like doing little shows and gigs all over L.A., you know? Broadway tunes, mostly – meeting new agents… She's really busy" Sam explained, like he shared the tiredness Rachel was probably feeling.

Sebastian regarded the boy with curiosity. He couldn't really remember if those two were together or not.

"You guys hooked up or something?" he asked mindlessly.

Kurt slapped his thigh and gave him a murderous look, while Sam choked with his food.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. _Jesus_.

"Well… did you?" he asked again nonetheless. What was the big deal?

Sam chuckled nervously and scratched his nape. "No, man. I don't know what gave you the impression, but we're not together or anything" he explained nervously.

Sebastian frowned and shared a quick look with Kurt, who was giving still him a heavy glare. He sighed.

"My mistake, then" Sebastian shook his head, but couldn't help the smirk that graced his lips. "But you want to, don't you?" he let slip, very intentionally this time.

Sam chuckled nervously again, but this time he looked less awkward. "… I mean, she doesn't even live here anymore" Sam simply said, as if that was self-explanatory.

"Why don't you move to L.A.?" Sebastian said, and this time he knew he deserved the slap Kurt gave him on his thigh. He had just said the first thing that had come to his mind.

Sam raised an eyebrow at him.

"Are you serious, dude?" the blond asked, incredulous.

Sebastian raised his eyes then, looking at Sam first, then at Kurt (who looked like he was about to kill him) and couldn't help but feeling perplex. He shrugged, taken aback. "What's the big deal? Isn't L.A. as good as New York when it comes to modelling?"

Sam narrowed his eyes at him, then chuckled. "_Duh_. But that's not the point. The point is-" he interrupted himself, visibly struggling to make his point.

"Is there anything holding you back here?" Sebastian further asked, with a convincing tone.

"No" Sam replied quickly, then startled when he heard himself. "There's not" he repeated, more to himself than to Sebastian.

The blond went mute and looked frozen, like he had just realised something.

"Sebastian" Kurt cut in. He eyed him fiercely. "What are you doing?" he whispered, although Sam was too lost on his thoughts by now to pay them any attention. "Are you seriously telling him to move to L.A. just because of Rachel?"

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at Kurt. "So what?" he asked, clueless.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "What if she's not delighted with the idea? Do you know what kind of pressure that could bring upon her? That's not fair! They're not even dating" he said as lowly as he could.

"Hey – I'm just telling him to do something about it!" Sebastian defended, taken aback. "He's clearly not happy here" he said, pointing to Sam and not caring enough to lower down his tone.

Sam looked at them, mesmerised.

"I need to figure this out, Kurt" the blond boy said, making Kurt startle now. "And I've never liked New York, to be fair… I almost didn't come back today" he confessed, looking down sadly.

"Sam…" Kurt sounded a little guilty then, and Sebastian felt immediately uneasy. He didn't want Kurt to feel bad about himself.

Thankfully, Sam shook his head and grinned. "I still have work to do here for a few months" the boy explained. "I've got time to think about it" he insisted, trying to ease Kurt's sad expression.

"I see" Kurt breathed out. "Well, I'd miss you terribly, you know that, right?" he gave Sam a small smile.

Sam returned it, brightly. "Me too, bro."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Jesus Christ… it's not like you'll never see each other again" he said harshly, feeling somewhat repelled by the sudden drama and breaking the tension.

Kurt sighed and ignored him. "Okay. I wanna see those L.A. pictures now!" he said enthusiastically.

/

Sebastian couldn't really sleep that night. Kurt had insisted he was just tired when they got in bed, but Sebastian knew better than that.

What if things were moving too fast for Kurt too? It was weird, but even if everything had speeded up for Sebastian, he just couldn't find it in himself to want to stop it.

Suddenly, Kurt broke Sebastian's hold in bed carefully, trying not to wake him up. The boy got up then and grabbed his robe before leaving the bedroom. Sebastian witnessed it all, but felt weirdly frozen.

He had a thousand questions burning wildly on his head. But did it even matter? Sebastian felt that as long as Kurt wanted him to stick along, everything would be okay. The rest was unimportant.

It was killing him though that Kurt was feeling blue for some reason and he wasn't giving Sebastian the chance to help him out. He got up, impulsively, and looked for Kurt around the living room, until he realised where the boy had to be.

"Hey" Sebastian said once he reached the fire escape.

Kurt was sitting there, facing the street with a distracted expression, until he heard Sebastian.

"I couldn't sleep" Kurt casted him an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry I woke you" he murmured.

Sebastian shook his head, smiling. Then he observed Kurt, with an uncertain expression. "Can I sit with you?" he asked, tentatively.

Kurt eyed him surprised, as if he found Sebastian's question ridiculous. "Of course you can, dummy" Kurt said truly, moving to his right and patting the place beside him.

Sebastian appreciated the gesture and smiled warmly, then he sat down too.

"Bas, you're gonna freeze" Kurt told him off, probably realising just then that Sebastian was on his briefs. And just when Sebastian thought Kurt would say it was better to go back inside, the boy opened his robe and used it to cover both Sebastian and him.

Sebastian thanked him with a lazy smile and took comfort on Kurt's warm proximity. If only they could be like this forever… "So this is the fire escape – your hiding place" he commented, forcing himself not to get too lost on his own thoughts.

Kurt smiled at him. "It is. But you can keep a secret, can't you?"

Sebastian nodded and rubbed Kurt's thigh. "Sure" he yawned, then locked eyes with Kurt and wondered what could possibly be making Kurt insomnious.

Kurt stared at him, a little taken aback, Sebastian noticed.

"Are you okay, Kurt?" he asked, genuinely concerned.

"I don't know" Kurt admitted, looking down at his lap.

Sebastian's hand kept on caressing his leg, though. "Kurt, you- you know you can talk to me, right?" Sebastian mumbled, clumsily. "I mean, I know I haven't been exactly great, or useful, when you've needed to talk before, but… I'm- working on that" he said, sincerely.

Kurt held his gaze mutely, and for a moment Sebastian feared he was crossing a line. Violating Kurt's privacy or something. But then Kurt wrapped his hands around Sebastian's upper neck and took a hold on his jawline, bringing him closer to plant a kiss on Sebastian's cheek.

Even if Kurt was allegedly the one on a weird, blue mood, Sebastian was the one feeling healed right now.

Kurt rested his forehead on the kissed spot, breathing in heavily Sebastian's scent.

Sebastian tugged on Kurt's arm and held him tighter on his own arms, kissing the top of Kurt's head soothingly.

"I-" Kurt tried to begin, with his head buried on Sebastian's neck, but he had to clear his throat. "I just keep feeling like there's something I'm doing wrong, but I can't figure out what is" he explained. Sebastian waited, knowing there was more to come. "And I can't stop picking on myself, because I feel like I'm gonna screw up" Kurt gulped down, breathing unsteadily.

Sebastian stroked Kurt's back, but brought one hand to Kurt's cheek and cupped it. "Screw up what?" he asked, cautiously. He couldn't bare seeing Kurt like this, all the more so when he suspected their relationship had something to do with it.

Kurt regarded Sebastian with fear, and Sebastian couldn't help but frown. "This" Kurt said. "Us" he added, when Sebastian expression got confused.

"Us?" Sebastian asked, incredulous. "Kurt…" the boy looked away briefly, nervous, then locked eyes with Kurt again. "There's only one way you could screw us up" he said.

"Which would be…?" Kurt asked, concerned.

"If you said you don't want to see me anymore" Sebastian bluntly admitted, casting Kurt a nervous, bitter smile.

Thankfully, Kurt returned the smile, and shook his head on what it looked like disbelief. "I don't think I'll ever say that" he told Sebastian, casting him a shy look.

Sebastian breathed out relieved. "Then I think we'll be okay" Sebastian smiled coyly too.

Kurt nodded and hid his head on Sebastian's neck once again, and Sebastian took the chance to hold and comfort him, even if he wasn't sure he deserved it, since he was partially responsible for Kurt's distress. After all, it was their relationship what was making Kurt be like this. But he hoped Kurt was feeling calmer now. Reassured.

Sebastian kissed the top of Kurt's head once again, and rested his cheek against it. He took in the views then and observed the fire escape.

"You were right about this place… it's got that something" Sebastian whispered.

Kurt breathed out warmly against his skin, tickling Sebastian unintentionally.

"I'm glad you like it… it's just the view of a street but- it's soothing, somehow" Kurt commented.

"Did it- sooth you?" Sebastian asked, not with the most confident tone.

"You did" Kurt said, kissing Sebastian's neck now and making him melt widely against Kurt's lips.

_Fuck_, how did Kurt manage to be so brave? So… loving?

"Let's go to bed" Sebastian got up, carrying Kurt's torso with him, so Kurt had no choice but to get up too. "I can cuddle you there and it'll be less cold" he explained, because he really wanted to return Kurt the 'love'.

Kurt nodded and grabbed his hand, letting Sebastian guide him to his own bedroom. Sebastian smiled at this.

As promised, once they got in bed Sebastian spooned Kurt and placed the covers above them, to keep themselves warm. Then he slowly brought his hands to caress Kurt's waist and hid his nose on Kurt's nape, where he placed a soft kiss too.

Kurt grabbed his hands and intertwined his fingers with Sebastian's, bringing the hands closer to his chest, where he held 'em gently.

Sebastian felt a wave of overwhelm creeping up his upper body, wondering once again what on Earth he had done to deserve _this_. This warmth. This affection. _This_ _man_.

"Kurt?" the word suddenly slipped from his lips on a whisper, and for a second Sebastian even thought he had imagined it.

But Kurt's hum on response told him differently. Sebastian remained silent, though.

"Bas?" Kurt asked then, confused, as his thumb timidly caressed Sebastian's own.

Sebastian breathed out. _Just say it, dumbass_. "I also feel like I'm gonna screw up" he admitted, slowly feeling like all his walls and defences were going down one by one at Kurt's touch.

Kurt turned around then, losing Sebastian's hands on the process, but wrapping his own hands around Sebastian's torso instead, facing him, although there was almost not lighting.

Sebastian put his hand on Kurt's back and noticed it was a little cold, so he grabbed the covers again and this time he made sure there was not a single inch of Kurt's skin that wasn't covered.

He felt Kurt's lips on his chest then.

"Why is that?" Kurt asked, almost whispering, while he ran a finger along Sebastian's chin.

Sebastian loved how familiar Kurt had grown with his body, how the boy no longer felt timid around it. How he mindlessly nurtured it with his tenderness. He gulped down, nervous.

"I- I guess I don't even know what I'm doing most of the time, you know?" Sebastian babbled, trying hard not to tense up under Kurt's touch – although their bodies were pressed so close against each other that there was no way Kurt wouldn't notice it.

And that went both ways. Sebastian could also notice Kurt's uneasiness – he could even when they were not touching each other, so how could he not now?

"I'm too cynical" Sebastian breathed out, conflicted. It was weird – he had never considered his cynicism to be a bad thing, but when it came to his own feelings… his cynical side never helped.

Kurt's hand suddenly stopped and rested against Sebastian's chest. "What do you mean?" Kurt asked, clearly not following Sebastian's train of thoughts.

Sebastian rubbed his temples, trying to keep his insecurities at bay. _Come on, jerk. This is Kurt. Talk! _He sighed. "Well, you know me, Kurt" he simply said, straightforwardly. "I don't understand love – I'm not even sure I believe in the concept" he said, somewhat exasperated.

Not at Kurt, of course not. But at his own notions. Why couldn't he just love? Why did he have to stop to even consider the stupid notion? God. Sometimes Sebastian envied how easily people fall in love.

"I don't-" Kurt mumbled, but got stuck there. Sebastian looked down at him. The boy kept staring at his own hand on Sebastian's chest, lost on his thoughts. After a few seconds, he returned the look. "I don't think you have to" Kurt finished, holding Sebastian's gaze now. "I mean…" the blue eyed boy smiled, kindly. "You once told me you chose experience over notions" Kurt explained, and Sebastian found himself getting warmer every second.

Kurt remembered some stuff they had talked about months ago. And the way his lips curled timidly to give Sebastian reassuring smiles, _damn_. How did he do it? How could anyone be so sweet… to him? Sebastian just couldn't understand it.

"I still do" Sebastian smiled back, bringing up his hand to stroke Kurt's back hair affectionately.

Kurt closed his eyes and lingered in the touch, humming quietly. "You don't need notions then, Bas" Kurt whispered, opening his eyes again. "We-" he cleared his throat, somewhat nervously, "we can experience and figure things out together" Kurt added, then gave Sebastian a small smile.

Sebastian's insides melted with that small smile. He came quickly closer and kissed Kurt's cheek fondly, stroking his back too as he felt like he needed to employ his whole body to show Kurt that he meant it. That he meant he wanted to love him, even if he hadn't been able to bring himself to put it in words.

"I like that, babe" Sebastian said, resting his head back on the pillow.

Kurt kissed the inside of his arm and rested his head pretty close to the skin – so close that his breathing kept tickling Sebastian's skin, but he wouldn't dare move his arm away or such.

Kurt looked so relaxed at last, that it almost made Sebastian forget how the boy had been acting that afternoon. But he didn't forget. Only, he didn't want to ruin the moment now with further asking. Whatever it was unsettling Kurt, Sebastian would find a way to sooth him in the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm really, really glad you guys liked that I'm writing this again! Your reviews warmed up my inner writer and she's eager to dig deep on these two and their relationship. :P

About this chapter… First, it's freakishly long! Second, I'd like to sincerely apologise for any possible sugar overdose you might suffer while reading this. Most of it, it's just fluff xD But also, the rest of it… it's maybe a little heavy on thoughts and considerations. Maybe a little angsty? I don't know... feel free to like it, or to hate it! x) I won't be mad.

P.s. I don't own glee, thankfully, because I really overthink too much. And I would be so focused on Kurtbastian that I'd completely forget about Rachel, or Santana, or any other characters I also love!

P.s.2. Happy reading!

/

Sebastian woke up to an empty bed the morning after. He startled, suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling of coldness he was no longer used to experience in the mornings.

Where was gayface? He looked around. It was not that late, so he was probably fixing his hair on the bathroom. Sebastian got up, feeling somewhat frenetic. The mere idea of not feeling Kurt's body until afternoon was just… _awful_, he realised.

He was about to open the bathroom door when he forced himself to calm down. What was with all this dependency? Since when was he like that? He wasn't quite certain that Kurt would find it cute, but he was absolutely positive that _he_, Sebastian, found it outrageous.

Sebastian took a deep breath and decided to turn around. _Yeah_, that would be for the better. Kurt hadn't woken him up, and the boy probably had his reasons. God knew Sebastian would only delay him.

Sebastian was about to go back to Kurt's bedroom when he heard the bathroom door.

"Bas?" he heard Kurt's voice ask dubiously from behind.

Sebastian turned around. "Hey" he greeted Kurt, awkwardly enough.

Kurt raised an eyebrow at him, half-surprised, half-amused. "You needed to use the bathroom?" He asked, innocently.

Sebastian noticed Kurt hadn't fixed his hair yet. The boy looked quite busy moisturising his skin right now. Sebastian shook his head and decided to cut the distance between them.

"I was up to no good – don't worry" Sebastian joked, resting his back against the doorframe. He noticed Kurt was eyeing his abs and couldn't help but smirk.

Kurt's eyes lifted up and locked with his own, his cheeks slightly blushed. "Up to no good…?" Kurt asked, confused.

"I was gonna make you be late again" Sebastian explained, scratching his nape. He still felt slightly uneasy, although he didn't exactly understand why.

"Oh" Kurt made, understanding.

"Yep" Sebastian said casually. "And you're already about to kill me as it is so…" he shot Kurt a weirdly self-aware smile.

Kurt chuckled and turned around to face his reflection on the mirror. "_Kill you_" he repeated distractedly while applying the rest of the product on his neck.

Sebastian observed him, mesmerised by the length of that sculptural neck. Kurt put down the moisturiser then, and it took Sebastian two seconds to realise the boy was no longer eyeing himself on the mirror, but staring at Sebastian intensely.

"Get in the shower" Kurt commanded him all of a sudden, gaining a surprised frown from Sebastian, who had to blink to make sure he wasn't imagining things.

He locked eyes with Kurt's. Gayface looked serious; pissed off even. It sent a tickle right into Sebastian's crotch. _Damn_.

"What?" Was all Sebastian managed to formulate.

"Get in the shower" Kurt repeated, his tone somewhat less firm this time as he got rid of his pyjamas.

Sebastian didn't think it twice and kicked off his briefs, hot water running over his back just two seconds later. Kurt followed him.

"Don't hold this against me, but I actually love that you always make me be late" Kurt confessed, giving him a shy smile as he came forwards to stand under the water too.

Sebastian eyed him speechless, his attention struggling hard to decide where to focus: Kurt's statement or his marble skin.

Kurt returned him the look and probably noticed that Sebastian was wetting his own lips affectedly, because he blushed furiously.

Sebastian just couldn't take it anymore and trapped the boy against the wall, attacking his neck harshly. He heard a timid moan coming from Kurt's throat and it sent an electric wave right into his cock, making him rub himself against Kurt even harder.

Sebastian felt Kurt's hands grasping at his back urgently, encouraging him to go further. He completely forgot about the 'not leaving a mark' rule and started sucking on Kurt's neck as if that was all the fuel he needed.

Kurt's hips arched responsively and Sebastian took a hold on them to steady Kurt's body. Unwillingly, Sebastian had to part his lips for a moment, trying to catch his breath.

Kurt's hands were on his neck then, moving Sebastian's face and looking for his eyes. Sebastian locked eyes with Kurt obligingly and found pure excitement. _Joy_. It almost tickle his chest how alive Kurt looked right now, and to think that he was the one making Kurt feel like that. _Fuck_.

Apparently Kurt was doing just fine with his breathing, because his lips crashed against Sebastian's own and kissed them intensely. Sebastian felt a shiver down his spine when Kurt's hands wandered down his torso, stopping when grabbing his cock to massage it. He could hardly breathe.

Kurt probably noticed, because the boy moved his lips to kiss the corner of Sebastian's, granting him a break. Sebastian was so overwhelmed he didn't even notice when or how his back had ended up pressed against the wall, giving Kurt control over the situation. The coldness of the wall informed him, though.

"You were amazing last night" Kurt whispered against his cheek, kissing his way down Sebastian's neck slowly. "Amazing" he repeated, this time looking right into Sebastian's eyes.

Sebastian dived into Kurt's piercing blue eyes, the word _amazing_ echoing throughout his brain until he actually managed to put the pieces together. Last night. The fire escape. Their words. The cuddle.

"Because you let me" Sebastian let slip, his mouth obviously losing all filters. He trembled, fearing for a second he had said too much into those four words.

Kurt eyed him attentively.

_Dammit_. Would Kurt get what he meant? Would _gayface_ understand how thankful Sebastian felt that Kurt let him be like that?

It seemed so, because Kurt's next movement was to smile. Just smile. Truly.

Their bodies kept working, though. _Thankfully_. Because it made it less awkward for Sebastian.

_That's it_. That was how much overwhelm Sebastian was able to handle. He unlocked eyes with Kurt and looked away, deciding to focus on his chest instead, unwilling to deal with that honest and loving smile Kurt was giving him – emphasis on _loving_. Sebastian was not ready for that.

He brought his lips to Kurt's chest to create a distraction, trying to get in the mood to _fuck_ instead of _making love_. His mental process was getting frantic and anxious and he knew it, because Sebastian wasn't even sure he knew how to make love properly – for starters.

He devoured Kurt's chest relentlessly, and even grabbed Kurt's balls to speed things up, but all his efforts died shortly when he felt Kurt's hands on his back, tenderly caressing him and holding him close – all aggressiveness gone. Suddenly Sebastian noticed his teeth felt out of place, and so did his tongue.

Sebastian let go of a sigh he wasn't even sure why he was holding, and simply let Kurt hold him. His face found a comfort shelter on the crook of Kurt's neck, placing a long, chaste kiss over the skin.

"Skip work today" Sebastian said before he could find a thousand reasons why he shouldn't be asking that from Kurt. He knew Kurt loved his job. He knew Kurt had a life. He knew he shouldn't feel this dependant, this needy – but he did. He needed Kurt.

"Okay" Kurt said after a few seconds, making Sebastian's train of guilty thoughts stop.

Sebastian dug up his head, his body still wrapped around Kurt's arms. "Really?" He couldn't help but ask incredulously, locking eyes with Kurt again.

Kurt looked as dozed off as Sebastian was feeling, and he gave Sebastian a tired, yet high-like smile. Sebastian wondered briefly if the feeling of overwhelm was mutual indeed.

"Really" Kurt repeated, smiling shyly.

Sebastian shook his head, though he brought his hands to cup Kurt's hips softly. "Don't be silly, Kurt. You don't have to skip work" Sebastian assured him.

Kurt narrowed his eyes at Sebastian. "I know I don't have to, idiot. But I want to" he stated straightforwardly, then bit Sebastian's chin.

Sebastian threw his head backwards to grant Kurt more space, almost unconsciously. "You sure, babe?" He further asked, if only to spare himself a disappointment.

Kurt groaned against his skin. "Would you shut up?"

Sebastian chuckled, unable not to find comfort on annoying Kurt. "Okay, okay" he panted, trying not to thrust inside Kurt already at those little licks the boy was thoroughly giving to Sebastian's earlobe. "Mph, but I need to have you" Sebastian couldn't help but press himself impossibly harder against Kurt, "like- right now" he warned Kurt.

Kurt moaned and turned around quickly, presenting Sebastian with his backside. Sebastian didn't waste another second and flipped positions, trapping Kurt against the wall again. This time, though, he covered Kurt's chest with his own arms and held him from behind, following the instinct to feel closer to Kurt and to spare him the cold contact with the wall.

Kurt intertwined fingers with him and kissed Sebastian's shoulder, unintentionally slowing down the process. Unintentionally, because it was Sebastian who got distracted observing Kurt's lips on his own skin; the way his nose wrinkled when it crashed against his own shoulder, and how swollen Kurt's neck looked, even with the insane amount of moisturiser he had probably applied.

His cock tickled then, an almost electric reaction occurring when it merely brushed Kurt's ass cheek. Sebastian reacted making sure he had enough access to Kurt's face before slowly and gently thrusting inside him.

He was almost disinterested on _fucking_ Kurt, all of a sudden. All Sebastian could focus on right now was Kurt's aroused and flushed expression, and how much he needed to kiss that soft skin. He brought his lips to the corner of Kurt's lips and moved them along until finally resting them on Kurt's cheek, where he planted what he hoped it would be a _loving _kiss.

Sebastian wasn't too sure if the kiss would have the effect he was aiming for, but it was worth the try. He gave it a few more tries, though. He had nothing to lose.

"Bas… _please_, touch me?" Kurt gasped, his eyes entirely closed.

Sebastian nodded and hurried to let go of one of Kurt's hands to place his own on the length of Kurt's cock. He tried to keep the tempos, with his thrusts inside Kurt and the jerking, but soon enough he felt like he was starting to lose some focus and energy – the promise of orgasm threatening to make an appearance.

It wasn't longer until they both came, resting their weights against the wall and thankfully not losing their balance. Sebastian was quite certain that if it wasn't for Kurt, he might as well fall down every time they had sex in the shower.

So he thanked him, or he tried to, mouthing Kurt's back agitatedly while he tried to breathe steadily again. Sebastian wondered then if maybe he was getting in the way of Kurt's breathing, noticing how tightly he had been holding on to Kurt's torso, but he just couldn't loosen his arms up. Sebastian hoped that the blur from the orgasm would disguise it.

Slowly, really slowly, Sebastian managed to force his arms to be gentler, and finally succeeded to hold Kurt with a decent amount of pressure.

_Fuck_, he seriously had to calm down with all this neediness he was feeling. Otherwise, he might end up making Kurt choke unintentionally. He trembled at the mere image.

Kurt caressed his thigh then, soothingly. "You okay?" He asked, his voice still worn out from the exhaustion.

"Yeah" Sebastian didn't hesitate. "I'm having a hard time keeping us on our feet, though" he joked and regretted it the moment his words were out, because he knew Kurt would turn around then and he could no longer hold him.

As predicted, Kurt turned around smiling tiredly, and placed his hands on Sebastian's waist. "Sorry, babe."

Sebastian couldn't help but smirk surprised. "Babe?" he repeated. "That's a first" he realised.

Kurt hummed. "Hm, I'd never liked to 'babe' people before" he commented, then casted Sebastian a knowing look.

Something stung on Sebastian's chest. It was not unpleasant, but it made him feel really nervous. Kurt didn't take words for granted. And neither did Sebastian. Well, maybe he had in the past, but not with Kurt.

Sebastian felt the impendent need to make himself busy with something, so he grabbed the sponge and guided Kurt to stand right under the water. He winked at the paler boy and started to wash his marble skin.

Sebastian got on his knees to soap up Kurt's legs; then, as he was doing his way up Kurt's torso, Kurt's hands stopped him and ran its fingers along Sebastian's forearms.

Sebastian looked up, uncertain, and found Kurt looking at him with a mesmerised expression.

"You're too generous" Kurt mumbled, blushing hard.

Sebastian had to look down, conflicted. He knew Kurt would only get mad at him if he disagreed and explained how he was feeling: unworthy of those words.

Kurt's hands fell over Sebastian's waist then, his fingers rubbing the skin smoothly.

"I'd like to do something" Kurt gulped down, "for you."

Sebastian locked eyes with him and noticed Kurt's blushing wasn't going anywhere. He immediately forgot about his incessant rants about unworthiness and cupped Kurt's cheek with his hands, caressing the blushed skin with his thumbs.

"Can I help?" Sebastian asked, trying to show Kurt how willing he was to cooperate – hoping, in a way, that his cooperative attitude would make Kurt feel less self-aware.

Kurt nodded briefly. "Fill the tub" he said, smiling coyly.

Sebastian let go of him and blocked the drain, moving the taps to get the water to run hotter. Kurt got out the tub and started picking some small bottles from the cupboard. Sebastian smiled at his thoroughness.

"Hey, shouldn't you phone Vogue, Isabelle or something?" Sebastian suddenly remembered, knowing it was quite late already.

Kurt startled. "Dammit" he coursed and rushed out the bathroom. Naked and wet. Sebastian peeked his head out the tub and watched the boy almost trip twice on his way to the bedroom.

Sebastian sighed and sat down on the tub. He hadn't felt this freaked out in a while. Except that he wasn't only feeling that. He was also feeling glad, and happy, and overwhelmed. All at once.

_Put your shit together_, he commanded himself. Maybe this was what love felt like? This uneasiness? _What a bitch, then_, he thought.

Kurt made it back quite fast and dropped his cell phone excitedly on the sink, then thought it better and put it on the shelves. He finally got back in the tub and sat down too, facing Sebastian and pouring the content of the fancy bottles he had placed on the floor.

Sebastian observed him. It was pretty obvious that Kurt was following some kind of ritual in the order he poured out the bottles and the salts. Even his expression had gotten somewhat majestic. Sebastian chuckled.

Kurt looked at him confused.

"You think it'll be ready some day?" Sebastian asked, maliciously.

Kurt casted him a bitchy glare but kept on going until he grabbed the last bottle. He opened it and inhaled, biting his lip pretty suggestively, even if he was obviously unaware of that.

The boy eyed Sebastian thoughtfully. "I don't think you deserve this" Kurt joked, narrowing his eyes at Sebastian.

There was nothing Sebastian enjoyed more than a silly challenge so, naturally, he came forwards and snatched the bottle from Kurt's hands, gaining a childish 'hey' from his owner.

Sebastian raised the bottle to his nose and inhaled hard before Kurt could take it away from him.

_Fuck_. That smelled heavenly. He didn't deserve it indeed.

Kurt rubbed Sebastian's thigh under the water. "It's good, isn't it?" he asked, with a hint of pride on his tone.

Sebastian smirked. "I've smelled 'em better."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "No, you haven't" he disagreed, and took the bottle from his hands to pour a few generous drops on the water, here and there.

"Yes, I have" Sebastian protested, taking back the bottle and resting it on the floor before capturing Kurt's wrists to keep him immobile while he hid his nose on Kurt's neck. "I smell them better all the time" he added, planting a kiss on the spot.

Kurt smiled and kissed him back, on the cheek. "Could you free me?" he whispered, casting Sebastian a cheeky smile. "I'm gonna need my hands for what I had in mind."

Sebastian regarded him with curiosity and complied. Kurt sat on his knees. "See that black cover over there? That's where I rest my head" he explained, pointing to some sort of headrest placed on the edge of the tub right behind Sebastian. It reminded Sebastian of those hard cushions where Edna rested her head when he used to accompany her to those old beauty centres when he was a kid.

"You want me to lay on my back?" Sebastian guessed.

Kurt nodded, making very poor attempts to contain the fond smile Sebastian could already see forming on his puckered lips. Sebastian didn't complain, though. He laid down and tried to make himself comfortable.

Kurt grabbed Sebastian's legs and stretched them until they were laying on its full length across the tub. It felt nice.

"Okay" the boy said when the task was completed. "Now – I'd usually put some relaxing music, like…" he grabbed his cell phone from the shelves and some sort of attempt at zen music started playing.

Sebastian fought the urge to scoff and let Kurt carry on with his ritual instead.

"… And then I'd close my eyes, and focus on my breathing" Kurt continued.

Sebastian had to look at him then, puzzled.

"Please?" Kurt regarded him sweetly, and Sebastian couldn't find it in himself to neglect him.

Sebastian shook his head but closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.

"Great" he heard Kurt say. "Now, the good part" he said, his tone getting slightly more nervous.

Sebastian chuckled.

"I obviously take baths when I'm alone, so… um, normally, I have to put my imagination to work but… since we're both in here" Kurt explained, awkwardly.

Sebastian felt Kurt's lips on his chest then, closing upon it chastely.

"… I like to imagine that you're here. That you- get in the bathtub, and cover my skin with- um, kisses…" Kurt continued clumsily, then moved his lips towards Sebastian's left pectoral while his hands massaged Sebastian's sides.

Sebastian's breathing became somewhat affected. "M-me?" He asked, feeling like a clueless idiot. "You imagine… me?"

Kurt smiled against Sebastian's skin, then kissed lower, almost gracing a nipple. "Of course I do, dummy" he said, then finally took a hold on the nipple and sucked it softly, making Sebastian arch up his body – unable to contain the arousal.

"Oh- _Kurt_" Sebastian moaned, almost shocked to hear himself. Kurt's game was pretty innocent even, and yet here he was, moaning like a teenager.

The moan didn't stop Kurt from sucking further, not just at his nipple, but at every inch the boy found over Sebastian's upper body. And it wasn't sucking all the time. Most of the time, it was just simply kissing. Tender kissing, and Sebastian found himself having to open up his eyes more than once to make sure his mind wasn't playing cruel tricks on him.

And it wasn't. Kurt imagined him doing _this_. And Sebastian might be clueless, but he knew what _this_ was: Kurt was loving him. And Kurt wanted Sebastian to love him too.

It wasn't a grandiloquent gesture, nor was it an awkward speech. It was intimate. It was private. And it was dedicated.

Sebastian felt a shiver down his spine. He could do _this_. _This _wasn't as hard as he had thought it would be, actually.

Kurt's lips reached Sebastian's ankles then and Sebastian understood _this_ was over. He opened his eyes just in time to see Kurt getting up and out of the tub.

"Hey" Sebastian tried to articulate, although his whole body was kind of electrified with an intense, immobilising wave of warmth.

Kurt grabbed a robe. "Now you rest" he gave Sebastian a small smile. "What you imagine now is up to you" he joked. "Meanwhile, I'll make you breakfast" he nodded, as if to back up his words.

The boy left and all Sebastian could manage to process was a big, categorical and powerful _fuck_.

What the fuck had been that? Was he dreaming? Was there really a physical, tangible, actual human being capable of cherish him that much? Of loving him like that?

His rant didn't last, though – the memory of Kurt's lips was still fresh on his skin, and if he focused hard enough, he could almost still feel the tickle, and it was quite distracting. And pleasant. So he took Kurt's advice and 'put his imagination to work'.

/

"… Somehow I just didn't feel it, you know?" Sebastian barely articulated while he swallowed down a big spoon of noodles. "I've got a feeling this year will be different" he commented slowly, once his mouth was somewhat emptier.

Kurt regarded him too silently. So silently, that Sebastian wondered if the boy wouldn't be biting his tongue too hard.

"You think I'm just being dramatic, don't you?" Sebastian asked, amused.

Kurt hurried to swallow down to respond but Sebastian waved his hand on a dismissal gesture. "Nah, it's okay. I probably am. But it wasn't what I was expecting, anyway" he tried to explain, although he wasn't sure himself what he wanted to say.

He really couldn't tell why, but the Theatre Club first meeting had been kind of a disappointment.

"All the talented guys graduated, and now the mediocre are taking charge" he said, exasperated. "Seriously, what am I gonna learn from that bunch of creeps?" Sebastian shook his head, remembering that Jeremy punk and his shallow pep talk. He winced.

Kurt chuckled. "Oh, come on! It can't be that bad."

"It is" Sebastian insisted. "Fucking preppy schools and their fucking hierarchies" he muttered, while chewing more noodles. "And since I'm not a senior, I'm not allowed to speak my mind" he added, harshly.

Kurt patted his thigh. "That's kind of dumb" he agreed. "What about John and… the others?" Kurt rushed to supply. Sebastian was pretty certain he had meant to say 'Andy', but corrected it just in time.

"You remember John?" Sebastian asked, not exactly surprised but… His name had never come up again after the Homecoming party.

"Yeah" Kurt shrugged. "I liked him" he added, casually.

_Well apparently you two hit it off_, Sebastian thought amused. He just couldn't picture two people who would suit each other worse. Oh, _the hell_ he couldn't. What about Kurt and Sebastian himself, then.

"He's… _okay_, I guess" Sebastian tried to say nicely, but even though John could be considered one of "his friends", the guy wasn't the nicest. _Yeah_, 'okay' was actually an _okay_ adjective to describe him. "And he doesn't care much about it – I mean, I don't think anybody does" he said sarcastically. "The place is basically a hook-up point" he joked.

Kurt choked on his food then, making Sebastian cast him an amused smirk.

"I didn't know that" Kurt commented, trying to disguise his choke with a few forced coughs that held little credibility.

Sebastian contained a chuckle and looked away, because Kurt was eyeing him pretty intensely right now.

"Oh" Kurt made. Sebastian looked at him and the boy quickly minded his plate of food, moving his fork but not fishing. "You and… John?" Kurt asked, with a casual tone that wasn't that casual at all.

Sebastian winced. "Ew, why would you say that?" John held zero sex-appeal for him. For starters, the boy was straight. And _also_… the boy was straight. Seriously, who was straight these days? Sebastian found it lazy, and old, and narrow-minded.

Kurt chuckled. "Sorry, sorry" he said patting Sebastian's thigh. "I mean, he's cute" he added, smiling cheekily.

That hit a nerve on Sebastian. He realised it did, and tried not to freak out. "Right. If you like 'em straight. He sure is" he said harshly.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Does it matter that he is? He's still cute."

"I don't like straight guys" Sebastian protested, feeling kind of childish. "Do you?"

Kurt looked about to say something, then looked down, visibly struggling with his words. Sebastian regarded him surprised.

"You do?" He asked again, frowning.

"I just like guys" Kurt defended. "And I can't say I've never crushed on a straight guy before" he added, somewhat nervously.

That made the sting in Sebastian's chest burn again. This time, unpleasantly.

"Do I know him?" He couldn't help but ask.

Kurt chuckled nervously. "Why? You're gonna hit him or something?"

"Please tell me it's not Sam" Sebastian said even before he had processed it. How he deduced so fast it had to be Sam, he had no clue.

Kurt frowned. "How-…?"

"Oh, _just kill me already_" Sebastian muttered, throwing his head backwards and laying down completely on the grass.

They had decided to have lunch on Central Park. It had been lovely so far. Until now.

Kurt chuckled again, and Sebastian couldn't spare him a glare.

"He's like one of the dumbest guys I've ever known, Kurt. And I've met a lot of guys" Sebastian said, unintentionally harsh.

Kurt's expression got somewhat less kind too. He stared at Sebastian, his eyes going slowly colder. "And one of the hottest too. Right?" Kurt asked, somewhat rude.

Sebastian recognised that look. It was the look Kurt used to give him when they met at the Lima Bean back in high school. He couldn't help but licking his lower lip. "That's not creepy" he smirked, sarcastically. "Considering you've lived together like- since high school."

"_Brothers_ – I think we might actually consider each other brothers" Kurt replied coldly. "And hey, remember Finn? I used to have a crush on him too" he said, eyeing Sebastian fiercely.

_Fuck_. Kurt's bitchy glares were his perdition.

"You gotta picture that" Kurt continued, with a rough tone. "The three of us under the same household. I'm such a pervert, ain't I?" he asked rhetorically, and for a moment there Sebastian couldn't tell if Kurt was actually upset or just punishing Sebastian.

Sebastian felt a tickle right on his crotch, and eyed Kurt fiercely too in return. If only they weren't on a public place…

"Asshole" Kurt suddenly said, puckering his lip tightly, his expression turning now clearly upset.

_Crap_. Sebastian didn't really know what he had done wrong, but he hadn't seen that look on Kurt for a while.

He frowned, confused. "W-what?" Sebastian mumbled.

"I said _asshole_" Kurt repeated, staring right at Sebastian now.

They stared at each other in silence. Kurt was clearly containing a turmoil of emotions Sebastian wasn't even sure he could begin to understand, and Sebastian… Well, he was fucking scared he had fucked up too badly.

"Kurt, I- I was joking – I don't think you're a creep" Sebastian tried to explain, but Kurt's expression remained rather cold. "I- just… well, you live with Sam, I mean- I just felt… he's really hot, I…" he babbled.

Kurt sighed, then bit the inner part of his mouth. "Sam's my friend, Sebastian" he stated, tiredly. "But Finn… Finn was my brother" he added with difficulty.

"_Fuck_, Kurt, I- I'm sorry" he blurted out, his brain finally putting two and two together.

Kurt nodded. "It's okay… I can be a little sensitive about it" he shook his head, finally looking less defensive.

"That's perfectly fine" Sebastian hurried to assure him, moving aside to caress Kurt's thigh. "I mean… the guy was sweet" he said, awkwardly, gaining a frown from Kurt. "I mean it! He- I remember he stood up and cheered for the Warblers at Regionals" he recalled. "It was nice. I was feeling like a major dumbass at the moment, so it felt _really_, really nice" he admitted.

"Oh" Kurt made, looking a little lost on his thoughts too. "Sounds like him" he conceded, his lips curling up on a small smile.

Sebastian brushed that curl with the tip of his thumb. Kurt eyed him bitchly again.

"I still don't know what's wrong with liking straight guys, though" Kurt argued, throwing his head slightly backwards to escape from Sebastian's thumb.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Nothing's wrong" he sighed. "I just thought you'd have a better taste, that's all" he smirked, maliciously.

Kurt narrowed his eyes at him. "I don't know what made you think that" Kurt shrugged. "I mean – I like _you_" he said, maliciously.

Sebastian casted him a sarcastic smile, then came forwards somewhat abruptly and stole a bite from Kurt's nose, even though the boy tried to resist him.

Kurt rubbed his sore nose, casting him a resented look.

"Fuck, Kurt. You're giving me completely mixed signals here, babe" Sebastian whispered on his ear, brushing his nose against the skin.

Kurt trembled. "Why is that?"

Sebastian swallowed down hard, containing his arousal. "You really turn me on when you're mad at me" he let slip. "I mean – you know what my fetish is, babe…" Sebastian said, running up and down his hand along Kurt's spine, barely stroking.

Kurt's eyes got softer. Timid even. His eyes looked around discreetly, as if to make sure no one could hear them. Sebastian smirked amused. Even if they were in a public park, they were pretty far away from the nearest couple. And God knew that couple looked pretty interested in each other's throats.

"_Right_. Bitchy attitudes…" Kurt said lowly, somewhat self-aware.

Sebastian shook his head, slowly. "That's not accurate, Kurtie…" he played with the collar of Kurt's shirt, smoothing it. "It's _your_ bitchy attitude – yours alone."

Kurt's lip tremble, almost imperceptibly, before forming a _cute _smile. _Wait, cute?_ Sebastian was about to mentally-slap himself when he felt Kurt's hand on his side, caressing him affectionately.

"Well, sometimes you do bring it upon yourself, meerkat" Kurt joked, kissing the corner of Sebastian's lips playfully.

Sebastian groaned, eager for more.

"But I've gotta admit I kind of like being- _nice_… to you" the boy continued, caressing Sebastian's face now. "Is that a problem?" He asked, eyeing Sebastian with a spark of fondness on his eyes that was driving Sebastian nuts.

Sebastian's throat got dry. He shook his head almost unnoticeably. "Of course not" he admitted, gulping down the uncomfortable nod that was blocking his throat. He felt vulnerable. "How else could I know I'm not a jerk?" Sebastian joked, awkwardly, but ended up just observing the slight blush of Kurt's cheeks.

Kurt smiled at him calmly, then kissed Sebastian's cheek. "I'm teaching you good" he patronised Sebastian, playfully.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at him. "I _so_ wanna spank you for that" he said, staring at Kurt's lips maybe too intensely.

Kurt seemed taken aback. He trembled under Sebastian's hands. "_S-spank me_?" Kurt looked around, and his expression had turned so utterly innocent that it almost made Sebastian chuckle.

"Relax, babe" he rubbed Kurt's thigh, planting a kiss on his cheek. "Not here" he smirked, cheekily.

Kurt slapped his shoulder. "Idiot" he murmured, but he looked relieved.

They stared at each other, both trying to hide their amusement. Sebastian decided to cut the distance and kissed Kurt – mostly, because there had been enough tension for one day. And it was only midday. How Kurt managed to bear with him was a mystery.

"Wanna get some ice-cream?" Kurt asked him, before planting a small, final peck on Sebastian's cheek. He smoothed down Sebastian's shirt while he waited for an answer.

Sebastian got a little lost on the image of Kurt's hands on him in such a non-sexual, even accustomed way. He just nodded and let Kurt help him up and they somehow ended up not letting go of each other's hand.

They walked in silence, holding hands, until they found an ice-cream stand.

"You know, I was thinking… Since your apartment is only five minutes away… maybe we could crash there tonight?" Kurt asked him, once Sebastian bought both their ice-creams, _like a gentleman_.

Sebastian couldn't help but wince, though. Thankfully, Kurt was too focus on his ice-cream to notice it.

"It's only midday, Kurt" he scoffed. "Not that I would object to going to bed right now, mostly if it is with you, but…" Sebastian tried to sound playful.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on, Bas! I miss your place" he pouted, casting him a spoiled look.

Sebastian wasn't about to give in, though. "What's to miss there?" He asked, repelled by the thought of it.

Kurt looked confused. "Well, we- we spent a lot of time there… before the summer" he added. Sebastian stared at his ice-cream. "I mean, I keep some good memories of the place" Kurt said, unintentionally sweet.

Sebastian regarded him with gratitude. _Good memories_. "You do?" He asked, giving him a small smile.

Kurt returned it. "Yeah" he assured Sebastian.

"Me too" Sebastian agreed. That didn't change the fact that he really didn't want to go to his apartment right now.

"You look serious, though" Kurt noticed. "Is everything okay with- your grandfather?" He quickly shook his head. "Well of course not, I know he's not the nicest, but I mean… is he being rougher than usual?"

Sebastian bit his lip. "Why would he?" He asked, evasively.

Kurt looked a little dubious, but talked anyway. "We don't go much there lately… and we spend almost every night together so… Well, I was just wondering" he defended awkwardly, and Sebastian could tell he was doing an effort not to push.

It didn't help to ease up Sebastian's vulnerability, though. "I didn't realise that was a problem" Sebastian murmured.

Kurt stopped walking. "I never said it was a problem" he protested, taken aback.

Sebastian stopped too but he didn't know where to look at. He gave Kurt's eyes a brief look and it was enough to know that Kurt hadn't enjoyed his last _stupidly_ defensive comment.

"Don't do that, Sebastian – don't put words in my mouth" Kurt came closer, and put one hand over his arm. "We haven't gone there in a month and this is the first time I'm asking" he continued, forcing Sebastian to lock eyes with him. Sebastian noticed Kurt didn't look pissed. "Look – I'm not trying to push you, but you could talk to me…" he suggested, tentatively.

Sebastian couldn't contain a snort. "Yeah – just like you talk to me" he let slip, inevitably thinking of last night. He had been waiting all day for the perfect moment to bring that up, but apparently a tense one was more proper. _Good one, idiot_, he told himself off once he witnessed Kurt's sad expression.

Kurt's hand slip off Sebastian's arm and the boy went mute. He scratched his nape, looking somewhat embarrassed.

Sebastian sighed, uncertain of what to do. He didn't like these situations. Why couldn't they be naked on the shower right now? It would make everything so much easier…

Kurt finally opened his mouth. "I wasn't exactly eloquent last night, was I?" he said, casting Sebastian a shy smile.

Sebastian could just melt with that honest, shy smile. But he needed to use his mouth too. "Well- yeah, but you probably had your reasons, I mean…"

Kurt bit the inside of his mouth. "Oh, boy" he said, more to himself than to Sebastian. He looked a little shocked. "You're doing the same thing I do when you're being evasive" Kurt said, somewhat awkwardly. "We shouldn't do that" he shook his head. "Why can't we be bitchy when it's really necessary? I mean – I should actually spank you for being such a defensive ass, and you should spank me for being such a shut-off idiot" he ranted.

Sebastian put an arm around his waist, noticing his sweet gayface was back with him now. "You really want me to spank you, don't you?" he smirked, jokingly.

Kurt slapped his arm so softly it was almost ridiculous. "That's not helping, Bas!" He protested, but he closed his hand around Sebastian's waist too.

"It sure is" Sebastian insisted, brushing his nose against Kurt's cheek briefly to plant a kiss there. "I can tell you wanna have my babies again" he joked, gaining a blush from Kurt. "Five minutes ago, I wasn't so sure."

Kurt giggled, quietly, but it lighted up his face. "I'm not having your babies, Sebastian – they'd have terrible teeth" he joked, although he sounded a little too serious for Sebastian's taste.

Sebastian casted him a resented look and bit harder than usual Kurt's nose.

Kurt groaned and rubbed his sore nose. "Exactly what I was saying" Kurt said maliciously, barely containing a smirk.

"Enough with that!" Sebastian complained, narrowing his eyes at Kurt childishly. "You're gonna give me a complex, babe" he protested.

Kurt giggled _evilly_ but cupped Sebastian's cheeks and parted his lips with his thumb. "You big silly – don't you know I love these teeth?" He told him cheekily. "I know what wonders they can pull off, you know?"

Sebastian bit Kurt's thumb playfully, gaining a short, high-pitched scream from Kurt, who slapped his arm again.

"Now I'm more convinced than ever that you were born to spank me" Sebastian murmured provocatively on Kurt's ear, making him shiver.

_Fuck_, if only it wasn't so easy to affect Kurt…

But Kurt regained himself quickly enough. "And when we're not making up excuses for each other, we're flirting like gross teenagers full of hormones" he said, breaking the hold.

Sebastian pouted. "Tease" he protested.

"You know me" Kurt agreed, jokingly.

Sebastian sighed. "Okay" he gave up. "Let's go to my apartment" he conceded, and Kurt smiled surprised. "Am I allowed to touch you now?" He asked, putting his arm around Kurt again.

Kurt rolled his eyes but placed his own arm around Sebastian's waist and rested the cheek against his shoulder.

"You better" he murmured, a few seconds later.

/

"Your phone won't stop buzzing" Kurt complained after resting said object upon Sebastian's chest somewhat roughly.

Sebastian knew he deserved it, though. The phone had been buzzing for five minutes already but he had felt unable to get up and check on it. Mainly, because Kurt was snuggled up to him on the couch, and they had been enjoying an extremely pleasant nap up until now.

Sebastian groaned and took it. Kurt rested his head again on his chest, so it was worth it.

The responsible for all the buzzing was the Theatre Club. Apparently, that Jeremy guy was throwing an intimate party at his apartment tonight, and the whole club was invited. So no, actually, it wasn't that intimate. And Sebastian knew what that move was about. The guy was desperately asking to be chosen captain, and Sebastian wouldn't make it so easy for him.

"Anything important?" Kurt asked, with his eyes still closed.

There went Sebastian's hope that they would continue sleeping for a while. Kurt was awake now. They had agreed on taking a nap before talking, but hadn't specified the duration. Sebastian suspected Kurt was as little enthusiastic as he was about talking, but the boy was more responsible, so of course he wouldn't let it go.

"Nah" Sebastian said. "An idiot from Theatre trying to gain our sympathy" he commented.

Kurt opened his eyes and looked confused. After what Sebastian had told him about the place being a hook-up point, he couldn't blame Kurt's suspicious look.

"He's throwing a party so we like him and choose him captain – like I didn't have anything better to do…" Sebastian added, so Kurt knew they weren't flirting. The need to make sure Kurt knew he wasn't flirting with someone else was unsettling, to say the least. But Sebastian tried to ignore it.

"Oh, you do?" Kurt asked, maliciously. "May I remind you, you declined my offer to spend the night together?"

"I did not such thing!" Sebastian protested, exaggerating his outraging. Kurt chuckled. "I would think I actually _accepted_ since we're here and all" he smirked.

Kurt patted Sebastian's abs distractedly. "Whatever you say, meerkat."

Sebastian captured Kurt's hand and stopped it. "That's right" he smirked. "Whatever I say, babe, and I say we continue sleeping" he tried to sound authoritarian, but he knew it was a desperate move.

Kurt chuckled, knowingly. "You're so silly" the boy mocked him, and Sebastian took revenge in squeezing Kurt's hand tightly.

"I demand forgiveness" he played along, trying to prolong the distraction. "Or I'll spank you."

Kurt giggled again. "I thought I was the one who was born to be a spanker" he protested, but Sebastian was already slapping Kurt's butt playfully, making Kurt's giggle even sharper. "Okay, okay! I formally present my apologies" he barely babbled, laughing.

Sebastian chuckled too and came forwards to kiss him. "You're the silly one – just so we're clear" he stated, childishly.

Kurt caressed Sebastian's belly and hummed distractedly, agreeing, although he was obviously just playing along.

"Good" Sebastian kissed his forehead, and held Kurt closer.

_Please, let's stay like this for a while_, he found himself wishing, then realised they had fallen in silence, and none of them looked too eager to break it.

Kurt kept on caressing Sebastian's belly, and he placed small pecks on Kurt's forehead every now and then. And just when Sebastian thought they had made an unspoken truce, Kurt broke it.

"I saw Blaine at the Homecoming party" the boy said, suddenly. He kept touching Sebastian, so Sebastian didn't move an inch.

"You didn't tell me" he commented, wondering if it would be a good idea to ask why.

"I know" Kurt breathed out. "I kind of forgot with the whole Andy incident and- well… it really didn't affect me in the moment, to be honest?" he said with a tiny, timid smile, as if hoping Sebastian would get him

It was funny, even. Sebastian wouldn't normally put a lot of effort on reading between the lines of anybody's words. He'd just nod and get it over with. But this was Kurt, and Kurt's words were… _precious?_ He wondered.

So naturally, Sebastian asked: "In the moment?" It was pretty obvious that it did affect Kurt now.

Kurt's smile faded. He nodded. "I mean… you were right. It's been only five months" he looked away. "Five months and I still carry on unaffectedly" he said with a hint of disdain on his voice.

Sebastian rubbed his temples, trying not to take it personally. They had had this conversation before. The first time they went to the Iris pub. The first night they spent together, and the first time they had really _talked_. So of course Sebastian remembered it. He thought he had helped Kurt that night somehow. But apparently he hadn't.

"_Unaffectedly_" Sebastian mumbled, containing a sarcastic snort. "Sure" he let slip.

Kurt looked up at him, frowning.

"It amazes me that you call being on a weird mood, or having trouble to sleep, being unaffected" Sebastian said, trying to keep his harshness at bay. He didn't mean to tell Kurt off, after all. He just wanted to open up his eyes for once and for all.

Kurt's facial expression got surprised, and he looked like he was about to disagree, but he made no sound. He just frowned. "That's not what I meant" he said, after a few seconds. "I'm pretty much aware I am affected" he explained, staring right at Sebastian, strikingly honest.

Sebastian went a little softer after that. He brought his hands to rub Kurt's arms. "Okay. Then what did you mean?" He asked, calmly.

"Bas, you… when you came back from France, you said something that has kept me going ever since, but-" Kurt stopped, looking conflicted, and Sebastian could actually imagine a bubble of heavy thoughts hovering around his frowned forehead. "You said I always feel true to you" Kurt finally let out, his eyes finally locking with Sebastian's again.

Sebastian remembered it. "Yeah. I meant that" he confirmed, casting Kurt a confused smile.

"But everything has happened so fast" Kurt continued, tiredly. "What if- or how could I-…" he struggled. "I mean – I don't wanna be one of those persons, Sebastian" he bit his lip, with a sad expression.

Sebastian felt powerless. He had no clue what Kurt's conflict was about. For how long had this been going on? Was he oblivious or what?

"Kurt – you need to tell me what's going on" Sebastian said, looking for Kurt's eyes and holding him tighter, making sure he had Kurt's undivided attention. "I can see you're struggling to make me understand, but all I'm getting is that you're upset and I'm so self-centred I had no clue _this_ was going on" he ranted, firmly, witnessing Kurt's pupils tickle with understanding. "I promise you, I'll make an effort and speak clearly too – I promise" he insisted, caressing Kurt's skin.

"It's not your fault, Bas" Kurt said after a few seconds during which they just stared at each other. His expression was fondness now. "I- I always dread serious talks too" he admitted, smiling shyly.

Sebastian had to bite his tongue. He felt the same, he truly did, but he also kind of didn't want to feel like that. Like there was a talk he wouldn't like to have with Kurt. Mostly, he just didn't want Kurt to feel the same about Sebastian.

"I want us to be able to talk about anything" Sebastian found himself saying, out of desperation. If he didn't want Kurt to feel like that, then he'd better say something himself. "Because that's what we do, Kurt – we _talk_" Sebastian said, mentally putting so much emphasis on the word that when it was out, it sounded too poor. "We talk, and we- we-" he got stuck, all his strength fading under the impression that his words were failing to illustrate what he was feeling.

"We accept each other" Kurt completed for him, regarding him with attention.

Sebastian startled. Even if that wasn't exactly what he had wanted to say, it was pretty damn close. It felt amazing, that even when he was so clumsy with words, Kurt somehow got him.

"And we don't judge what the other one thinks" Kurt continued, now a little more lost on his own thoughts.

Sebastian kissed his cheek, slowly, feeling grateful. Grateful that Kurt accepted him. Grateful that Kurt didn't judge him.

Kurt sighed. "Okay" he said, looking like he was trying to get determined. "Look" he gulped down, "this summer, while you were away, I- I kind of realised how little I had dealt with myself during the time I was with Blaine" he explained, his tone more calm now. More steady. "Almost three years… you know?" he sighed. "Well- I actually realised it somewhat earlier. Even before Blaine and I broke up, I think-" he stopped all of a sudden, his expression thoughtful.

Sebastian wondered if he would break Kurt's train of thoughts if he talked now. So he waited, just in case.

"I think I realised when I met you" Kurt said, a hint of surprise on his voice and also a surprised smile gracing his lips. He gave Sebastian a brief, timid look.

Sebastian felt somewhat astonished too. "You mean… back in high school?" A strange wave of something really similar to pride crept up his chest. _Wow_. He had never hoped he-

"No, no – back at Lexington" Kurt cut Sebastian's thoughts. He smiled, amused. "Sometimes I forget we met in high school" Kurt chuckled.

Sebastian smiled too, feeling proud again but for a whole different reason. He felt incredibly overwhelmed that Kurt would choose to refer to the night they reencountered at Lexington as "when they met". How amazing was that? How could he be so forgiving?

"So why did you realise that – when you met me?" Sebastian asked after a few seconds, when the sweet staring at each other was getting _too sweet_ to handle for him.

Kurt shrugged, with a thoughtful smile. "I don't know – you kind of reminded me I hadn't been myself for a while" he explained. "You actually told me I had changed, remember?"

Sebastian nodded, surprised Kurt remembered too.

"So I guess- I guess Blaine and I didn't just break up because we weren't in love anymore" Kurt continued, trying to show Sebastian the whole picture. "I guess we also needed to get back on track. To remember how being ourselves felt, before we threw ourselves into each other."

Something inside Sebastian told him he already knew Kurt's point. Or at least suspected it. He felt somewhat in danger, all of a sudden.

"You're worried that could happen to you again?" He couldn't stop himself from asking.

Kurt's pupils tickled with shock. "No! Of course not" he rushed to assure Sebastian.

Somehow, Sebastian didn't feel reassured. He felt vulnerable.

"Bas – listen to me" Kurt cupped his cheeks. "I've never felt more like myself than when I'm with you" the boy said, straightforwardly.

Their eyes regarded each other in silence, and silence got too thick too soon. Sebastian noticed Kurt's vulnerability had replaced his own, and it felt like that emotion was filling the room, immobilising them.

He knew he should say something. He should, because otherwise Kurt would feel stupid for exposing himself so much. But he felt somewhat immobilised too.

Kurt looked away, clearly feeling too self-aware to hold Sebastian's gaze, so Sebastian did the next thing he felt less coward to do. He held Kurt's arms and forced him to lock eyes with him again.

"I- I can't really say the same" Sebastian started, swallowing down hard every stupid notch of inappropriateness he might feel. "Because I've never been too certain of what being myself was" he added, noticing Kurt's blush. "I like me better when I'm with you, though…" his lips let slip too lowly. It was embarrassing, because Kurt would hear anything he said anyway, since their faces were only inches apart.

Kurt's smile came back, gently, and not as bright as to overwhelm Sebastian for his own words, and Sebastian thanked that.

"That's great" Kurt said, his lips puckering because of the fond smile they were containing. "I'm really happy I'm helping, then" he said, somewhat proudly.

Sebastian lowered down his hand and rested it over Kurt's hip, caressing it.

"You are" Sebastian conceded. "But I wanna help you too" he admitted, trying to hide his nervousness. "Can I?"

He casted Kurt an awkward, small smile and hoped the boy noticed he still needed to know what Kurt had meant then.

Kurt's eyes tickled. "I'd like that" he smiled.

"Tell me - how can I help?" He asked, while he ran a finger up and down his nose.

Kurt looked insecure. "I really don't know" he admitted. "I think I'm just scared, you know?"

Sebastian regarded him expectantly. "I don't" he admitted. _Come on_, he thought, mentally encouraging Kurt. _Talk to me, Kurt_.

Kurt sighed heavily. "I'm scared I'm more eager to fall for someone than to work on myself" Kurt breathed out, eyelids heavy. "Seeing Blaine, it made me wonder… if maybe I'm not entitled to fall for someone so fast again" he added, with a slightly trembling voice. Sebastian's heart skipped a beat. "I don't wanna be one of those persons who jump from one relationship to another to get away from… themselves and-"

Sebastian couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. Somewhere around the words 'entitled' and 'jump' something made him snatch.

"But you're not, Kurt" Sebastian cut him unintentionally harsh, with a firmness on his tone that made him wonder briefly if he was trying to convince Kurt of his words, or just himself. "How can you even think that? You- you get up every day, and work, and go to class, and- and do a thousand things more that are just about you – I mean, why would you ignore that?" He asked, somewhat perplexed and pissed at the same time. He knew Kurt was an overthinker, but this felt like too much.

"I'm- I'm not-" Kurt babbled, nervously. The boy looked completely taken aback, but Sebastian didn't feel like going easy on him.

"And why the hell wouldn't you be entitled to be with whoever the fuck you want when you fucking want?" Sebastian cut Kurt, a wave of rage creeping up his chest. He even sat up on the couch, not even sure why he was feeling so mad at Kurt. "What are you doing?" Sebastian asked, outraged. "I mean- if you don't want to be with me is _fine_" he said with more disdain than he had aimed for, "just say it, but don't- don't sabotage us" he protested, staring at Kurt fiercely.

Kurt's pupils got wide with shock, but he went mute. He was sitting now too, and he just stared at Sebastian astonished-like, frozen.

Sebastian felt a tickle of remorse on his lower abdomen, slowly going up and reaching his chest until he no longer thought he remembered how to breathe. _What the fuck was that?_ He wondered, anxiously.

"_Fuck_" he sighed heavily, trying to contain the overwhelm he was feeling while scratching his nape nervously. "Fuck, Kurt – I don't even know what-" he mumbled anxiously, feeling almost dizzy and cold all of a sudden. He could feel his own chest moving way too frenetically, and he suspected that was a bad sign.

Kurt's hand covered his own then, and his other hand went to pat his back, gently. Sebastian couldn't bring himself to look Kurt in the eye right now, or to make any movement at all.

Kurt moved slowly and smoothly wrapped his arms around Sebastian until he was holding him tightly, giving Sebastian the chance to hide his head on the crook of his neck. That pale neck he longed for so much.

Sebastian breathed in heavily Kurt's skin and tried to relax on the reassuring rubs of Kurt's hands on his back. Kurt's generosity went as far as to placing small, loving pecks on his head, and Sebastian felt like he had never been held at all. Not like that, that was.

Thankfully, no long after that his breathing became normal again, even granting him a break to truly enjoy the warmth scent of Kurt's skin so close to his own. The pacifying effect that it had on him.

"I'm sorry I judged you like that" Sebastian breathed out, his head still hidden. "I'm sorry" he repeated, more calmed now.

Kurt shushed him. "Don't worry" he assured him, kissing Sebastian's temples now. "You actually helped me, Bas."

Sebastian dug up his head, more regained now. "No, please, Kurt – I didn't mean any of-"

Kurt cut him. "Well, you should have, then" the boy smiled shyly. "Because I think- I think that's what my subconscious is doing" he admitted. "You were unnecessarily rude, that much I'd give you" he joked bitterly, looking down.

Sebastian bit his lip, regretfully. "I was" he admitted. "I don't know what got over me" he casted Kurt an apologetic look. "I freaked out."

Kurt nodded briefly. "I know" he rubbed Sebastian's thigh and squeezed his knee. "I mean – maybe I would too, if I heard you say such stupid things" he side smiled, sadly.

Sebastian felt exasperated with himself. "Dammit, Kurt, it wasn't stupid – it's what you're feeling, so it's not" he hurried to clarify. "And you would never freak out like that" he chuckled, finally feeling less tense. "You would get up and start shaking that sinful pelvis of yours to make sure I knew what I'd be missing" he said while slapping Kurt's waist playfully.

Kurt giggled, _finally_, warming up Sebastian's chest again. "Idiot" he bit back, but his eyes said otherwise.

They stared at each other with relief, Sebastian noticed. Kurt casted him a truthful smile and crawled up clumsily to sit on his lap. He threw his arms around Sebastian's shoulders.

"You're right – we talk" Kurt said, then placed a kiss on his cheek.

Sebastian wrapped his arms around Kurt's torso and brought him closer. "We do" he agreed, and crashed his lips against Kurt's somewhat needy. _Fuck_, how relieved he felt finally having Kurt's lips on his own. Devouring them.

Kurt barely managed to part his lips momentarily. "Yeah, so we don't-" Sebastian crashed his lips against Kurt's again, "only flirt grossly" he breathed out, then went back to the kiss as eagerly. "We also talk" he whispered, kissing down Sebastian's neck.

Sebastian hummed in agreement. "We also make love" he heard himself say while his hand patted Kurt's ass urgently. "Like- now?" he asked, dubiously.

Kurt nodded, his lips too busy on Sebastian's neck to talk now.

Sebastian took that as a 'yes' and cupped Kurt's ass cheeks, placing Kurt's legs around his own waist and lifting the boy with his arms to carry him to his bedroom.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you everyone for reading! And those of you leaving your thoughts on reviews, you really make my day!:)

P.s. I don't own Glee!

* * *

><p>It was almost dinner time, but Sebastian and Kurt seemed unable to leave bed. The tension from the talk had needed to be worked, and after two hours it looked like it was completely gone.<p>

Sebastian held Kurt tightly in his arms, the warmth that Kurt's body irradiated intoxicating him like a drug. Suddenly, he just couldn't remember a time when he hadn't had the chance to hold him like that. It felt so natural it was almost unbelievable.

They had cuddled in silence for almost half an hour now, but Sebastian's hands didn't feel tired to him, so he kept on pacing Kurt's back with his fingertips.

Slowly, Kurt lifted his head from Sebastian's chest and looked up at him. The boy looked him in the eye and smiled. Just smiled. Sebastian regarded him mesmerised.

"You have such a beautiful smile" he suddenly heard himself say, almost making himself startle. _Fuck_. He had never given such a cheesy compliment to anyone before. But that was not what unsettled him. What unsettled him was the spontaneity with which he had said it.

Kurt grinned coyly, though. He grinned coyly and looked away, self-aware. Sebastian noticed a light blush on his cheeks. "Not nearly as pretty as yours" gayface said.

Sebastian wasn't sure what it was: the timid, almost imperceptible way Kurt's cheeks blushed or the care that the boy put into his words. Whatever the reason, Sebastian's guts took charge of his body and made him kiss Kurt again. Not urgently, not heatedly. He just kissed him, and forgot about everything else.

His phone started ringing again, making Kurt groan.

"I swear I'll take it back if you don't get up and make it stop this time" the boy mumbled against his lips, grumpily.

Sebastian chuckled but got up, reluctantly, and stopped the buzz. He had several text messages and Facebook notifications. _Crap_. It looked like tonight's meeting at Jeremy's was actually happening.

"Fuck" he made almost unconsciously. He knew his day with Kurt had been far from perfect, but it was always like that between them. It was their kind of perfect, and he didn't want it to end.

"What is it?" he heard Kurt ask from behind.

The boy had got up too and rested his chin on Sebastian's shoulder, his left hand rubbing Sebastian's side reassuringly. Sebastian knew he had to stop coursing all the time, because it always misled Kurt.

"It's fine, babe" he said, turning around and capturing Kurt's waist with his hands. "Just the Theatre Club – looks like I'll have to drop by Jeremy's. The captain wannabe… he's throwing an intimate party tonight" Sebastian explained, casting Kurt an apologetic smile.

"Oh" Kurt made, understanding. He looked disappointed.

Sebastian contained a groan. "I really wanted to stay with you in bed" he whispered, observing a mark he had left on Kurt's hip. _Oops_. "Would you wait for me in here?" He asked, even if he knew it was a long shot.

Kurt chuckled. "Don't give me those eyes, meerkat" he joked. "It's one thing to stay unproductive with you, and another one to procrastinate on my own" he smiled, sadly.

Sebastian couldn't keep the groan inside him this time. He rested his forehead on Kurt's. "Dammit" he coursed. "I knew you'd say that" he said, bringing Kurt's body closer and pressing it against his own.

Kurt groaned too. "Don't" he protested, but he looked so unopposed it held little credibility. "I just had you for one _long _hour, why would I need more?" he smirked, cheekily, but his hands caressed Sebastian's back not so uninterestedly.

Sebastian ran his nose along Kurt's neck, teasingly. "_Right_" he breathed out, "why would you?" He asked, consciously pulling off a suggestive tone.

Kurt complained with a moan that died on his throat, but his throat was so close to Sebastian's that the vibration didn't go unnoticed by him.

"You just can't get enough, can you?" Sebastian joked, grabbing Kurt's butt now. Truth was, neither could he. "What if we make a deal?" He asked, deepening his voice, enjoying every second of their silly seduction game. Sebastian bit Kurt's neck and Kurt moaned now on his ear. "Come with me to the party, and we'll be back in one hour" he whispered against Kurt's skin while giving it thorough licks with his tongue.

Kurt stepped back and stared at Sebastian with a confused expression. "You're kidding, right?" He asked, frowning.

Sebastian felt really clueless. Why should he be kidding?

"You really wanna take me to your hook-up place?" Kurt asked again, this time more amused than surprised.

Sebastian snorted. "Of course – I wanna show you off" he joked, eyeing Kurt like a predator and cutting the distance between them again.

Kurt didn't look too convinced. "Bas… I'm, uh- I'm not sure that's a good idea" he mumbled, awkwardly.

That definitely put an end to Sebastian's attempts at a quickie. "Why not?" He asked, scratching his nape. "I thought you wanted to meet the guys – I mean, you're always saying you wanna see me perform and all-" he recalled, feeling uncertain.

"I do want to see you perform" Kurt agreed, casting him a small, brief smile, "but I don't need to know _them_ for that" he explained, then bit the inside of his mouth with a distant expression.

Sebastian frowned and folded his arms. "You already know some of them" he pointed out, trying really hard not to feel resented. "What is this about?"

Kurt rolled his eyes at him and folded his arms too. "Oh my God, how clueless can you be?" He asked, rhetorically. "Bas, I-" he shifted the weight on his feet, uncomfortably. "Ugh, you're gonna make me say it!" He sighed. "I really don't want to hang out with your _buddies_ and wonder if I'm talking to someone you've already…" Kurt struggled to say, reluctantly.

_Oh_. "Screwed" Sebastian completed for him. Yeah, that wasn't that unreasonable. Sebastian rubbed his temples, embarrassed. "Yeah… I really didn't think that would be a problem" he admitted, wondering if he should feel like an idiot. He didn't, though.

Kurt smiled ironically and looked away.

"I mean it – most of them I've become friends with" Sebastian took a step closer, feeling quite certain of his words now. Kurt really shouldn't be worried. Those guys were his pals now. "And we just fooled around – nothing to worry about" he assured Kurt, rubbing his hipbone.

Kurt regarded him with a conflicted expression. "Bas, it's not that I don't believe that" he explained, "it's… that I'm not sure I'll feel comfortable around them… I mean, you're saying 'them', as in- plural, and it's kind of intimidating" he said, looking down.

Sebastian didn't really think it was that big of a deal, and he would've accused any other person of being a 'drama queen', but this was Kurt and… the boy looked vulnerable. Worried even. So he would not push it.

Sebastian shook his head briefly. "Well, I'd like you to come, but-" Sebastian bit his lip. "I really don't want you to be uncomfortable, so… don't worry, okay?" he patted Kurt's hips, as if to back up his words.

Kurt eyed him attentively, but he looked a little lost on his own thoughts. "You really want me to meet them?" He asked, incredulously – like he really didn't get why Sebastian would want that.

"Yeah" Sebastian admitted. "Like I said – they are my friends now, so… I thought it'd be nice that you met them, but it doesn't really matter-"

"I'll go" Kurt cut him, all of a sudden. He gave Sebastian a nervous yet kind smile. "I hadn't really thought about it that way – and I do wanna know your friends" he said, truly.

Sebastian couldn't help but smile, surprised. "You're spoiling me, babe" he chuckled, feeling _kind of _happy.

Kurt sighed dramatically. "Oh I know."

"No, seriously, Kurt – you don't have to do it" Sebastian repeated, not exactly keen on the idea of forcing Kurt to do something.

"I know, I know" the boy smiled, timidly. "But I want to" he paused, "I wanna do it for you – if that's okay" he added this last bit staring right at Sebastian, challengingly.

Sebastian smirked at his determination. "It's more than okay, gayface."

/

On Sebastian's favour, the boy had truly imagined the party would be a small reunion – even if they were quite numerous on the club. But who could have guessed that Jeremy punk would know so many people? Apparently he did, though. Jeremy looked quite wild outside of the NYU facilities.

Kurt and Sebastian arrived somewhat late. Because Sebastian didn't really care about the party – he cared enough to show up, that was all. But as soon as he put one step inside the apartment, he knew they wouldn't be there just for an hour. And some kind of fresh excitement tickled his chest at the thought of that.

They would have fun, he was sure of that. They would party.

Kurt cleared his throat and whispered on his ear. "So much for a small reunion" he commented, sarcastically.

Sebastian grinned at him and kissed his cheek. "Relax – and let's get wasted" he grinned, feeling really enthusiastic all of a sudden.

Truth was Sebastian hadn't partied for a while. Not that he cared, because he had made good use of his time on gayface's bed, but he wasn't one to deprive himself once a party opportunity came to him. It made him feel stupidly alive and aware of the time he was living. He locked eyes with Kurt and noticed Kurt probably didn't feel the same way, though.

They made it to an impromptu bar and Sebastian poured themselves a drink.

"Here" he raised the red cup and winked at Kurt. "To feeling young and alive" he said.

Kurt casted him a surprised look but chuckled and raised his cup too. They emptied it down quite fast, so Sebastian decided on a refill without hesitation.

He loved feeling like that. Like the night was his to enjoy. It made him forget about all the tension, all the drama and all the worries he had to deal with daily. But he noticed he might be acting somewhat frenetically. Maybe he was tenser than he had originally guessed. Who knew? It had been quite a day, and he was not used to deal with so many emotions at once.

Kurt patted his back then and came closer to grab his refilled cup, making Sebastian cut his inner monologue and look at him. Kurt was smiling, calmly, looking more comfortable than Sebastian had imagined.

Sebastian smiled back at him but it was brief, because soon enough he gave in the need to steal a small peck from Kurt's rosy lips. He had to close his eyes, because they tasted wonderfully.

"Hey, lovebirds" he heard John say, and reluctantly pulled back to stare at the brunet boy.

"Hey, creeper" Sebastian greeted him with a glare.

John chuckled. "Oh, I'm _so_ sorry I interrupted you, Seb" he punched Sebastian's arm, playfully.

_Like hell you are_, Sebastian thought, amused. He rolled his eyes. "Kurt, remember Johnny?"

John winced. Kurt nodded and presented John with his hand politely.

"How are you doing, Kurt?" John asked, shaking Kurt's hand and unexpectedly behaving himself.

"I'm good, thanks" Kurt grinned. "Pretty busy ignoring the contents of what's inside my cup" he joked, then pointed at Sebastian. "He filled it" he made a scary face, then casted Sebastian a playful smirk.

Sebastian slapped Kurt's lower back. "I hadn't heard you complain until now" he said, eyeing Kurt's malice with curiosity.

John laughed, making Sebastian remember the boy was standing there.

"So what's new? Did you guys actually vote? Or was it just an excuse for the punk to show off?" He asked John, sharing a knowing smirk with him. He was referring, of course, to Jeremy.

"Oh, you missed it, Seb" John's expression got really serious, confidante-like. "He's quite the mobster" he took out a USB device from his pocket and showed it to Sebastian. "Pharma tests – he was a TA last year" the boy explained, chuckling.

Sebastian regarded the device on his hand. "Fuck – I'm gonna need a copy of those" he mumbled, then scratched his chin, pleased. "Not bad then" he told John, exchanging a conspiratorial look.

"Right?" John agreed, emptying down his cup.

Sebastian locked eyes with Kurt then, who was frowning and regarding the USB device too. He scratched his nape, awkwardly.

"He's probably just messing with us" Sebastian defended, trying to make it look less alarming to Kurt's eyes.

Kurt narrowed his eyes at him but let it go for the time being. He looked at John and sighed. "Your club is corrupted" he stated, with a not too keen smile.

John laughed again. "It sure is" he agreed. "Just the perfect environment for art to grow" he joked.

Sebastian noticed Kurt wrinkled his nose _gracefully_ but casted John a reluctant smile. "Do we have a fatalist here, _Seb_?" Kurt asked him, maliciously.

Sebastian couldn't help but smirk. Kurt finding John unlikeable was much more realistic than those two getting along. "I'm not sure he's even familiar with the term, babe" he chuckled, casting John a mean smile.

John rolled his eyes at him. "I happen to be a literate person, dumbass" he bit back, then directed his attention back to Kurt. "And to answer your question: yes, I am" he smirked, proudly.

Sebastian snorted. He couldn't help but find John's remarks funny. The guy always held himself unembarrassedly, nor was he too sharp or rough. Again, he was _okay_. Sebastian wondered briefly whether Kurt would be patient enough with John to get to acknowledge that on him, though.

"The darker, the better" John continued. "That's my motto" he laughed, even though he meant it.

That was another thing Sebastian liked about him. He never took himself too seriously.

"No exceptions?" Kurt asked, looking actually kind of intrigued. And also serious.

John regarded Kurt thoughtfully, briefly lost on his thoughts. He looked amused. "Exceptions are what keeps it interesting. I said 'the darker', not 'the darkest'" he winked at Kurt, challengingly.

Sebastian glared at John in silence. He didn't find that wink _cute_, or necessary. Then he heard Kurt's chuckle.

"I couldn't agree more" Kurt said, smiling more genuinely now. "What's your major?"

Sebastian regarded Kurt with surprise. What was he so surprised about? Kurt had been patient enough to get to know him, after all. He found himself smiling at how Kurt kept picking at the tip of his nose distractedly. Scratching it. It was quite a _gracious_ nose.

_Okay, that's enough_. That was the second time he mentally referred to Kurt's nose as 'gracious'. Sebastian shook his head and decided to pour himself another drink and forget about his cheesy remarks.

He was just grabbing the bottle of vodka when his hand met an oddly familiar one. He wondered where he had seen that hand before, then heard a voice.

"Oh, sorry-" someone said, chuckling. "_Oh_, hi" the tone got suddenly surprised, taken aback even.

Sebastian recognised the voice before looking up.

"Hey, Kyle" he greeted the shorter boy, trying to sound casual. Kyle just nodded in return while he waited for Sebastian to finish with the vodka. Sebastian took in his distant expression. "How you've been?" He asked anyway, not sure if it was out of politeness or out of guilt.

Kyle casted him a brief, nervous smile. "Good" he stated. "You?" The boy asked after a couple of seconds. Most likely out of politeness, in his case.

"Good" Sebastian repeated, awkwardly. He forced himself to keep an unaffected look. Out of _pride_? "I never see you at these parties" Sebastian commented, handling him over the bottle.

Kyle took it and nodded, coyly. "Yeah, um- Jeremy insisted, so…" he shrugged.

Sebastian knew that was as much conversation as he would get from Kyle, so he let it be. He deserved it, in any case.

"The guy can be persistent" Sebastian agreed. "Well. Have fun" he gave Kyle a polite, side-smile, forcing the timid guy to lock eyes with him.

Kyle nodded and left.

_One thing out of the way_, Sebastian sighed. The most awkward encounter had taken place now, so if he came across Kyle again, he wouldn't have to introduce him to Kurt, right?

He hoped so, because he had conveniently omitted that not every one of his hook-ups on theatre club had dissolved amicably.

Most of the time, Sebastian only messed around with guys who just wanted to have a good fuck. He really didn't find joy on misleading anyone.

That's why Kyle had been a mistake. Sebastian had noticed the guy was into him the first time they laid eyes on each other, and consequently decided to never hook up with him. Alcohol had got in the way, of course.

He turned around and found Jeremy talking to John, while Kurt checked distractedly his cell phone.

"Hey, Jeremy" Sebastian greeted him, unaffectedly, while placing one arm around Kurt's shoulders.

"Sebastian!" Jeremy was somehow feeling really excited to see him, which made Sebastian frown. "You made it, dude" he said cheerily, patting his back.

Sebastian winced, but tried to disguise it. "I heard there'd be a voting" Sebastian argued. "Gotta check those bad sources" he said, eyeing John maliciously.

Jeremy found it hilarious, apparently. "There's plenty of time for that, Sebastian. Don't be a bore" he joked, talking so frenetically and enthusiastic that it made Sebastian wonder if the guy was on something. Jeremy laid eyes on Kurt then. "Oh, where are my manners? I'm Jeremy Hunter" he said, getting suddenly ceremonial and offering Kurt his hand.

Kurt took it. "Kurt Hummel" Kurt smiled politely.

Jeremy's eyes fell over the hand Sebastian was resting on Kurt's shoulders, then narrowed his eyes at Sebastian.

"That drunk already?" Jeremy asked him, chuckling maliciously.

Sebastian casted him the most sarcastic smile he could pull off. "Oh, you wish, _Jer_" he winked at the idiotic boy, but felt Kurt going a little tense under his arm. Gayface was looking down, awkwardly. Sebastian cleared his throat. "And this is my boyfriend – just so you drive yourself more kindly" he said before he could regret it.

_Boyfriend? Boyfriend. Idiot! Boyfriend? Oh, God, Kurt's not looking at me. He's not looking at me! He feels less tensed up under my arm, though. Oh, idiot. _His arm slipped off Kurt's shoulders somehow.

"Your boyfriend?" Jeremy asked, surprised. "Well, I've gotta say it – a lot of guys in here are gonna feel really down" he joked, then patted Kurt's arm before leaving. "Nice to meet you, Kurt."

"Oh- You too" Kurt hurried to return, but the guy was already gone. "What a sweetheart…" he commented, eyeing him with disdain. His eyes followed Jeremy to the impromptu bar until they crashed against Sebastian's.

Sebastian and Kurt regarded each other quite awkwardly.

"Yeah… I'm gonna get a refill" John mumbled, amused, and patted Sebastian's back before whispering on his ear: "Don't back down now, idiot."

Kurt observed John with a frown, but said nothing.

_Fuck_. Sebastian wished the floor could swallow him down. _What now_.

"So… about that" Sebastian licked his lips, which felt incredibly dry all of a sudden. "I mean…" he chuckled, nervously.

Kurt looked shy, but he was smiling understandingly. "Yeah…"

"I just got nervous, I'm sorry" Sebastian continued, abruptly. The label thing had been rushed and they both knew it. They hadn't even talked about it!

Kurt's expression wasn't the reaction Sebastian was expecting, though. "You- you're sorry?" He asked, a little confused, blushing slightly.

"The creep got under my skin" Sebastian joked, waving his hand on a dismissal gesture. _Oh, God, don't make this any harder than it has to be, Kurt_. "Forget it."

Kurt looked like he was about to say something, but only regarded Sebastian instead, with a sad expression. Which turned cold, _fucking_ quickly.

"Kurt?" Sebastian asked, but Kurt was already making his way into the crowd. "Hey!" Sebastian found himself walking after him, but Kurt was faster.

His breathing became somewhat anxious, trembling, and he had to remind himself to inhale every now and then while he followed Kurt to what it looked like the floor' main bathroom. Kurt got in a stall and closed the door behind him.

_Fuck_. Sebastian looked around. There was just a couple more guys, so it wouldn't be so violent to talk now. But he waited, just in case, until they were gone. Would Kurt yell at him? _Fuck_. What if he was crying? Sebastian's breathing became impossibly more agitated.

He knocked on the door but Kurt didn't answer.

"Kurt, I um-"

"You're sorry?" Kurt asked harshly, his voice getting quite sharp.

Sebastian gulped down.

"Well, _yeah_" he scratched his nape, nervously. "I mean – what do you want me to say?!" He bit back, noticing the exasperation on his voice as it came out, although he hadn't aimed for it to sound like that. Was he feeling mad too?

Kurt opened up the door abruptly, violently, and grabbed Sebastian's collar to get him inside the stall. Sebastian wasn't even starting to process it when he felt Kurt's lips crashing hardly against his own. Kurt kissed him mercilessly, almost unkindly. Sebastian kissed him back.

_There went the tension_, he thought, wondering bitterly if Kurt would react nicely if he did the same in the middle of an argument.

_Oh, boy_, they needed to slow down with the kiss or he would literally choke. He was having a hard time breathing as it was already.

"I'm so sick of you" Kurt breathed out somewhat madly, when finally granting Sebastian a break to catch some air. His eyes looked cold and upset. "So sick…" he sighed, and this time his tone was definitely sad, less rough.

Sebastian's chest stung with pain. He cupped Kurt's cheeks and regarded him, although he had no clue what to say. He felt a nod forming on his throat.

"Do I always have to be the one who exposes himself, Bas?" Kurt asked him, lowly, with a conflicted expression. "You think it's easy to do that?"

Sebastian felt the anxiety tickling his abdomen, threatening to reach his chest. "I'm sorry" he repeated, feeling almost as if his mouth and brain had gone numb.

This time Kurt didn't reject his apology. He looked up at him, tiredly, and held his stare, until his expression got slowly concerned.

"Hey" Kurt made, dubiously. "You're okay?" He asked, holding Sebastian's sides with his hands.

Sebastian realised then that his breathing had got quite loud. He was aware he was feeling anxious, but he was unaware it was showing.

He tried to calm down his breathing, but somehow it wasn't working.

Kurt gave him a brief, last look before wrapping his arms around him on a soft hug.

"Hey, it's okay – I didn't mean it" Kurt said reassuringly, while rubbing Sebastian's back. "I'm not sick of you" he assured Sebastian, planting a kiss on his cheek.

Sebastian startled when receiving Kurt on his arms. Then, after a few seconds, his chest let go of one big sigh that apparently he had been bottling up inside. Sebastian noticed he could breathe in and out somewhat steadier again.

Kurt gave him an apologetic smile. He looked embarrassed. "I'm so sorry I made you feel like this… I was- I don't know, I was really mad" he admitted, regretful. "But I'm not anymore" he promised.

"Kurt" Sebastian said, his mouth finally working again. "I love you" he heard himself say, and his whole body felt so dozed off now it was almost crazy compared to how trembling it had been only ten seconds ago. It felt like the calm that precedes the storm.

Kurt's pupils dilated then, making Sebastian wake up, somehow.

Sebastian gulped down and forced himself not to look away.

"I'm not even sure I know what that means – but I think I do" Sebastian admitted, making an effort not to tumble down, since his legs still felt completely weak.

"I- I love you too" Kurt stuttered, clumsily, his lips spreading on a fond, yet timid smile. "I do" he repeated, almost as if he was scared the first time it hadn't sounded convincing enough.

Sebastian felt his own lips curl up on a smile, but he couldn't be too sure, since he was a little distracted observing Kurt, whose eyes looked so alive it seemed like they could breathe on their own, claiming themselves as autonomous living creatures.

Kurt hugged him again, this time more slowly, and hid his face on Sebastian's neck. And Sebastian simply felt happy. Weird as could be, he didn't feel any different. He hadn't just realised he loved Kurt – he had started to love Kurt some time ago. Maybe it'd been even months. And he knew Kurt loved him too. He had been seeing it in his eyes for quite a while, actually.

But the relief of putting his emotions into words made it quite bonding, somehow. They were letting the other one know for sure, and putting an end to the insecurities.

Sometimes things needed to be said, and words could have a healing effect.

/

Somehow Sebastian's rush to get drunk had slowed down after that. His body felt charged with a buzz it was hard to shake. His stomach kept twirling, but he was starting to get used to that. Plus, he had Kurt standing by his side, talking animatedly to his friends, and it was quite a fresh picture.

"… Of course, we have our rituals" John was explaining, while Kurt listened to him attentively. "Even with our diet – we can't allow to overlook any detail" he said, somewhat proudly.

"That doesn't work for everybody" some blond boy Sebastian didn't know said. Probably one of the newbies. Or maybe just a random guy who had joined the talk. Sebastian had been too distracted to tell now. "Some people think anticipation can fuck up spontaneity, and that's crucial."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "It's not anticipation – it's just taking care of your body" he said, feeling as if that was obvious. "I mean – it's your instrument" he explained.

"No, no – it's also anticipation" John disagreed. "You can't leave everything to chance. That's not acting" he protested.

Kurt chuckled. "You can't really say that. Acting is so personal" he smiled, and judging by his fond eyes, Sebastian understood no one could experience his acting the way Kurt experienced his own. That's how much his eyes said. "Even if we both attend drama lessons – not everything we learn is useful" he said, his eyes now getting somewhat bitchy. "I mean, if only you could hear the nonsenses that my Body Language teacher used to tell us" he giggled.

"I agree" Kyle said, suddenly.

_Wait, _when had _he_ joined the conversation? _Fuck_, Sebastian had been distracted indeed.

Plus, Kyle was too shy to participate like that on a talk with strangers… wasn't he? Maybe he was drunk.

"I'm on the Arts program and I still haven't applied to my composing half the things I've learnt" Kyle continued, talking to Kurt now.

Sebastian felt slightly uneasy, but let it be.

Kurt smiled to Kyle. "Right?" Gayface agreed, cheerily. "So you're a composer?"

Kyle smiled shyly in return. "Oh, no-" he chuckled. "I mean, I aim to be one. I've been working on adaptations, mostly" he explained.

Kurt nodded. "Well, we've gotta start somewhere" he said, kindly. "You work with music, or… do you write?" He asked, looking interested.

The group talk had drifted to what it made a great captain for the club, but Kurt and Kyle were no longer taking part on it. Neither was Sebastian, who couldn't take his eyes off them. And his ears.

"I do both" Kyle commented. "I'm better with the piano, but I also like just writing. Short stories, mostly" he said, emptying down his cup.

_Yeah, _the boy was at least tipsy. God knew he wouldn't talk that animatedly about his own skills. He was too humble to feel comfortable about it, if Sebastian recalled correctly.

"Oh, I envy you" Kurt pouted. "I'm terrible with the piano – I mean, I can defend myself, but… ugh. I definitely enjoy more writing. I'm actually working right now on an adaptation of _Follies_, Sondheim's – you know it?"

Kyle nodded. "Of course I do – _Losing my mind_ is such a masterpiece" the boy said, enthusiastic. "I mean, you knew it was inspired by _The man I love_, right?"

Kurt slapped his arm. "Shut up" he went mute, his eyes wide with shock. "How come I didn't know that?" He wondered out loud.

Kyle chuckled. "That's how you do an adaptation, right?"

Kurt looked still surprised. "It is. Wow" he smiled. "I'm giving the role of Ben to Sebastian – wouldn't he make a dreamy Ben?" He asked Kyle, innocently, casting Sebastian a fond smile.

Both Kyle and Sebastian froze. Sebastian returned Kurt the smile awkwardly, but said nothing.

Kyle smiled nervously. "I guess" he scratched his nape.

Kurt looked a little confused, but he obviously didn't notice completely, because he kept on talking. "Okay, don't laugh at me, but this adaptation I'm working on, it's actually for his grandma's nursing centre" Kurt told Kyle, pointing to Sebastian.

Kyle choked on his drink, and his eyes got impossibly wider. "What?"

"Yeah – it's a nursing centre for retired performers" Kurt explained, excitedly. "And they're lovely: they still have so much talent to share" he said, sweetly. "Sebastian's grandma here is the legendary Edna Rowles" Kurt said, tagging on Sebastian's arm with pride and linking it with his own.

Kyle's eyes fell on their linked arms. Sebastian felt really uncomfortable, but he nodded and smiled forcedly anyway.

"Not everybody knows every Broadway fallen star, Kurt" Sebastian joked, casting Kyle an awkward smile.

Kurt waved his hand at him in a 'ignoring you' way. "Nonsense. She's spectacular" he told Kyle.

"I bet she is" Kyle agreed, nervously, then raised his cup. "Well, I'm gonna help myself to a refill" he said, looking between Kurt and Sebastian with uncertainty. "It was nice to meet you… um-"

Kurt unlinked his arm and rushed to offer Kyle his hand. "Oh- it's Kurt. Kurt Hummel" he smiled.

Kyle shook his hand, after a second of consideration. "Kyle Hastings" he nodded, then smiled shyly and left.

"Well that's a nice guy" Kurt said fondly, casting Sebastian a surprised smile. "I was starting to think your club was sort of those" he joked.

Sebastian bit the inside of his mouth, but casted Kurt a sarcastic smile. Kurt giggled.

"What? Too boring for you?" Kurt mocked him, bringing him close by the collar to kiss him on the cheek, playfully.

Sebastian felt a sting of guilt at Kurt's choice of words. "He's normally very shy" he commented, trying to change the subject. Kurt didn't need to know how he found Kyle. "I'm surprised he talked to you that much."

Kurt chuckled. "You probably intimidate him" he shrugged.

"Yeah" Sebastian smiled nervously. "That must be it" he looked away, focusing on John and pretending he was paying attention to him again.

Kurt left an arm around his waist, caressing his hipbone distractedly while he looked at John too.

Sebastian's mind wandered back to when he first met Kyle. The boy had definitely felt intimidated by him at first, but that hadn't stopped him from talking to Sebastian.

He wondered if he should tell Kurt about it. But why would he? It had been nothing but a one-night thing. And who said Kyle and Kurt would see each other again? Odds were they wouldn't. Kyle being there tonight had been a rare thing, and Sebastian knew it. They'd probably never come across him again, so there was nothing to worry about, really.

But what if they did?

"I slept with him" Sebastian let slip, then picked at his back hair nervously.

Kurt's arm left his waist. The boy stood straighter now, more tense-like – not that Sebastian was looking at him. He was feeling too uncomfortable for that.

"Oh boy" Kurt breathed out. "I can't believe how much I embarrassed myself" he said, rubbing his temples.

Sebastian looked at Kurt then, genuinely surprised by his reaction. He wasn't too sure what he was expecting though, but it probably included Kurt being mad at him.

"You didn't embarr-"

"Please" Kurt cut him with a glare. "I think I said you'd make a 'dreamy' Ben, Sebastian - _dreamy_" he emphasised and shook his head, biting the inside of his mouth nervously.

Sebastian scratched his nape. _You fucking idiot. _Seriously, in which universe would anyone think that bringing your boyfriend to a room filled with your hook-ups was a good idea?

_Wait_. Had he just thought of Kurt as his boyfriend? That was a first.

"I could tell something was off" Kurt continued, mumbling. "But I thought he was just off-guarded" he explained, not to Sebastian in particular, but probably to himself. "I mean, you can make anyone nervous, really, so I didn't think you and him…" he stopped, locking eyes with Sebastian as if he was suddenly realising something.

Sebastian could feel his own cheeks blushing, which was weird, because he was not someone to feel embarrassed about his sexual life. Kyle had been different, though. _Wait_, could gayface notice that?

"I thought you were on good terms with everyone you've had sex in here" Kurt commented, somewhat serious.

Sebastian could have sworn he had never felt this nervous before. "He might be the exception…" he admitted, smiling awkwardly, then mentally-slapping himself for that idiotic smirk.

Kurt nodded, then bit his lip.

Judging by his expression, Sebastian guessed Kurt was probably wondering what had happened there, but didn't dare to ask further. Sebastian felt a little selfish, because he wouldn't add anything more if Kurt dropped it.

"Anyway… thanks for telling me" Kurt said, with a slightly more natural smile now. "I appreciate it – I guess."

Kurt looked at John then and seemed willing to focus on the group conversation once again. Sebastian sighed relieved.

_There_. It hadn't been that hard. Granted, he hadn't told Kurt the whole story, but a fuck was a fuck, no matter what the story was, _right?_ So he relaxed, feeling more comfortable again, and placed his hand on the small of Kurt's back, patting the fabric of his shirt.

"Is there anyone else in here I should know about?" Kurt asked then, making him startle.

Sebastian threw his head backwards, defeated. _Someone please kill me. _"Oh, Kurt" he groaned, grumpily. Since when did Kurt need to know about that stuff?

Kurt casted him a knowing look. "I'm not asking for a list, Sebastian" he said maliciously. "I just wanna know if I have to watch my tongue around your closer circle" he added.

"But you already know the answer, Kurt" Sebastian complained, sighing. "I told you they are my friends now…"

Kurt looked around then, eyeing the boys that surrounded them with shock.

"I didn't think you were being that literal!" Kurt said nervously, somewhat alarmed. "So what? Should I just discard the straight ones?" He snorted incredulously.

Sebastian chuckled, nervous. _If only it was that simple_, he thought. God knew guys could get curious in college. Or live in the closet. No one had escaped his radar last year, of course.

_Oh boy_ – he had been a busy-bee last year.

"I mean – since you don't like straight guys" Kurt commented, blushing slightly.

Sebastian ignored the question, though, and decided to clear the air. "Look, Kurt – there's a reason we can all hang out together just fine, and it's that none of us cares about it" he tried to explain, commanding his lips to stay still and not to firm that ridiculously nervous smirk. But it kept coming back.

Kurt looked away, meditative. "Kyle does."

Sebastian couldn't help but look shockingly at him. Kurt frowned.

"Please, don't say you haven't noticed" Kurt shook his head. He didn't look bitter, but vulnerable. "He's not intimidated by you – he's into you" he added the last part somewhat lower, but staring right at Sebastian.

Sebastian sighed. "I don't really think that's the case" he said, embarrassed.

He was feeling an unusual need to hide his mistakes, and it was freaking him out. Why? Since when did he feel embarrassed about his actions? He observed Kurt's eyes, which screamed confusion, and decided to cut it out.

"He's just hurt, Kurt" Sebastian finally admitted. _Enough with the hiding_.

"Oh" Kurt made, his expression turning thoughtful, understanding even.

"Yeah…" Sebastian looked away and scratched his nape, a little tired of the awkwardness. He sighed. "Apart from that, though…" he locked eyes with Kurt's again, "there's nothing else you need to worry about, Kurt" he said, feeling more regained and confident now. "Trust me" he added, his tone firmer. "No one else."

Kurt looked slightly taken aback by his display of confidence, but Sebastian preferred that to having Kurt feel suspicious. He needed to make sure his words sounded definite.

Apparently he succeeded, because Kurt's reaction was what he expected. The boy gave him a small smile and nodded. "I believe you."

Sebastian petted Kurt's back hair, casting him a knowing smile. "Thank you."

Kurt rolled his eyes in a 'don't-be-silly' way and rested his head on Sebastian's shoulder. Kurt's hand found its way to his back too, and Sebastian let himself relax at the comforting touch.

Sebastian's chest inflated with an emotion that felt quite similar to pride. _Wow_. He felt somewhat victorious. Somehow, he had managed to dissipate Kurt's worries and make the boy believe him. Maybe it hadn't been his doing, though. Maybe it was just Kurt's, who chose to trust him. Either way, somewhere along the way Sebastian had gained Kurt's trust.

And not only that. He had also gained _Kurt_. A boy who was willing to love him, no matter how badly he had screwed up. He felt less likely to screw up around Kurt, though.

A weird sting of scare hit his chest then. The same scare he had felt when Kurt had started to babble nonsense about not feeling entitled to love earlier. Sebastian realised he was freaking scared to lose Kurt.

_Okay. Easy there_, Sebastian ordered himself. Fear was a reasonable feeling to experience, right? He just wasn't sure how much fear was a reasonable measure.

Sebastian's inner monologue stopped as he got a glimpse of Kyle again. It wasn't Kyle what got his attention, though, but the guy who was talking to him.

It took him five seconds to recognise the guy and frown. It was that freshman that had smiled suggestively at him at the Theatre Club first meeting. The one with the nice butt. The one who looked like a potential jerk, to be precise, and had reminded Sebastian of himself. And he was flirting with Kyle, the nicest guy there was.

Sebastian bit his lip, nervously. That wasn't his call to make.

"Smythe" a female voice greeted him with a punch on his ribcage, exploding his bubble.

"Terracotta" Sebastian smiled, his eyes laying on Kate, a redhead from Theatre Club he had missed the day before on the reunion. "And here I was thinking you had bailed on us" he joked.

Kate smiled, brightly. "Tempted! I was really tempted to do that" she joked. "But who would babysit you guys then?"

Kurt chuckled, catching Kate's attention.

"Oh" Sebastian made nervously. Kurt and he were holding each other, _right_. He kept forgetting Kurt's body and his behaved so boyfriend-like. "Kate, this is _my Kurt_" he mumbled, gaining a snort from John, who was approaching them. Kurt looked at Sebastian containing a chuckle. "I mean this is Kurt – my boyfriend" he clarified, feeling dumb enough. _Dammit_.

"Your boyfriend?" Kate asked, half-surprised, half-amused. "We sure need to catch up, Smythe" she told him.

"Kids these days" John patronised Sebastian, leaving an arm around Kate's shoulders casually.

Kate rolled her eyes and shook it off. She looked at Kurt and smiled. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Sebastian's Kurt" she joked, offering her hand.

Kurt looked much less uncomfortable with the situation than Sebastian, and was smiling blissfully. "Pleasure to meet you too – a girl! It's quite refreshing" he smirked, cheekily.

Kate laughed, ignoring John, who was trying to place his arm around her again, but ended up folding his arms, pretending to be mad.

"Well, is this how you greet me, Terracotta?" John said, letting his jaw fall with outrage.

Kate narrowed her eyes at him. "Hey Woodward" she raised her head in acknowledgment, in a 'what's-up' way, then smirked maliciously.

_Just kiss already_, Sebastian thought, tired of those two constant flirt. He sighed. "You straight people are so restrained" he commented, harshly.

Kurt shook his head in disapproval, but John laughed and placed an arm around Kate again.

"Hey Kurt" John said, but he was staring at Sebastian defiantly, "you should know Sebastian here is quite frustrated that he failed to make me gay back in the day" he joked.

Sebastian chuckled, amused. "Just wait until I succeed" he winked.

"Oh, please, Sebastian – we both know if I was gay, you'd be in serious trouble" John continued, while Kate kept trying to shake his arm off her. "I mean not only you would totally have the hots for me, but you'd have some tough competition" he added, eyeing Kurt suggestively.

Sebastian held Kurt a little tighter and Kurt snorted.

"Wow. I can see now why you two are friends" Kurt shook his head, amused.

"A question of egos, right?" Kate replied, sharing a knowing look with Kurt.

"Nothing to question" Sebastian eyed them cheekily. "We both know who has it _bigger_" He told John, then winked at Kurt, his innuendo making him blush and cast Sebastian a murderous look.

"Well your boyfriend here doesn't enjoy your little show-offs so much, Seb" John remarked, amused. "I'm not like that, Kurt" he said, pulling off his puppy eyes for Kurt, who frowned at his idiotic flirting.

"You surely take your hypothetical scenarios real seriously" Kurt commented, somewhat bitchily.

Sebastian grinned at him, enjoying the sharpness that Kurt's eyes got when the boy was on his element.

"Damn right I do" John stated, proudly. "Hey, who knows? You can't never be too cautious – like Seb here said, I might get tired of the restraint of straight people someday" he said, smiling provocatively at Kate. "Gotta get loose."

"Oh!" Kate exclaimed after a few seconds of consideration, suddenly hit with a realisation. "You broke up with Amy, didn't you?" She asked, folding her arms and observing John knowingly.

John chuckled. "Actually _she_ broke up with me" he said, mindlessly, "but potato, _potahto_" the boy waved his hand, dismissing the subject. "I have a thing for redheads, Katie" he smirked, making Kate wince.

Kurt snorted and smiled at Sebastian. "He's like the straight version of you."

Sebastian frowned dramatically. "No, he's not" he protested.

"That's why you can never be too cautious, Seb. If I was to be gay someday" Sebastian rolled his eyes at John's mental process, "I better know where my game would be stronger" John explained. "It all narrows down to this: we all have our own thing" he smirked. "I have the hots for redheads; Kurtie here has it for straight-lookalike gay men-"

Sebastian glared at him, unconsciously.

"Oh, come on, Seb!" John defended. "You look impossibly straighter" he commented, then looked for back-up at Kate, who nodded reluctantly. "And you like them gay-gay – there's nothing wrong with that" the _drunky_ kept babbling. "That's why you two actually make a good match" he pointed out.

Kurt wrinkled his nose amusingly, the blush on his cheeks still present. "Well, thanks – I guess" he chuckled, awkwardly.

John nodded. "But don't worry, Sebastian – Terracotta here is gonna keep me busy for a while" he winked at Sebastian, grinning like an idiot.

"You're exhausting, Woodward" Kate scoffed and turned around, leaving.

"Hey, where' you going?" John asked, chuckling.

"Your dumbness has led me to alcohol" she made a dramatic face, but ended up laughing.

John followed her, placing his hand once again on the small of her back. This time, she didn't shake it.

"Is he always like that?" Kurt asked, frowning. "He looked calmer when I met him at Homecoming" he commented.

"He was soberer, probably" Sebastian joked. "And Amy was a buzzkill, so…"

Kurt hummed, distractedly. "He's funny. I think" he smiled, briefly.

Sebastian rubbed Kurt's back. "Babe, he's harmless" he brought Kurt closer, kissing his head. It lasted a little longer than he had intended, but Kurt smelled so good…

"Bas…" Kurt said, making him break the kiss. "Don't mean to be a buzzkill either, but I've gotta get up early tomorrow" he said, rubbing Sebastian's forearms softly. "And it's been quite a day…" Kurt added, with a funny expression. "You should stay, though" he added more firmly, regained. "I can see you're having fun."

Sebastian regarded him a little confused. He was aware it had been a long, full of emotions day. He was feeling it in his bones too. But it didn't make him want to spend the night with Kurt any less. If anything, the opposite.

"Oh" was all he could say. "You wanna sleep alone- tonight?" He asked, trying to understand it. Maybe Kurt needed a break from him, but did it have to be tonight? The very night Sebastian had dared to call him his boyfriend and said those three words…?

Kurt shrugged. "No, I- I don't really care about that. I'm just tired, and I don't want you to leave just because I'm leaving" he explained, honestly.

It hurt, somehow. "You don't really care?" Sebastian couldn't help but ask, narrowing his eyes at him.

"Well- yeah, we can always sleep together tomorrow" he said, chuckling awkwardly. Kurt obviously thought it wasn't a big deal.

"Right" Sebastian mumbled, feeling a little tense. A bunch of sad emotions ran his head freaking quickly, and he had to make a monumental effort not to believe those.

"Are you okay?" Kurt asked, confused.

_Who's the clueless one now_, Sebastian wondered, exasperated. He also felt childish. Shouldn't Kurt realise on his own what tonight had meant for them? Or maybe Kurt hadn't really meant those words – not like Sebastian had? _Don't be a jerk, don't be a jerk, don't be-_

"I'm not" Sebastian conceded, harshly. He folded his arms and looked at Kurt without reservations now. He was pissed. Why should he keep it to himself?

Kurt looked taken aback. "W-why?" He stuttered, nervously.

"I had never said those three words to anyone before, Kurt" Sebastian blurted out, filled with a feeling of rejection that was piercing his chest quite fast. "Neither I'd had a boyfriend" he added, eyeing Kurt coldly. "So yeah – maybe I was hoping we would spend the night together. Maybe I thought today had been special. But maybe you're so used to saying those words that it's no longer relevant to you" he ranted, unkindly, and didn't stop even when he witnessed Kurt's eyes getting vulnerable.

Kurt eyed him intensely. His cheeks were red, but it wasn't the kind of blush Sebastian was used to see and love. It was an emotional kind of blush. The blush Kurt's cheeks got when the boy was about to cry… _Crap_.

Kurt looked really hurt. "I can't believe you just said that" he mumbled, so low that it was almost a whisper. The boy had to look down, and Sebastian dammed himself for making Kurt unable to lock eyes with him.

Kurt lifted his eyes and gave him a brief, cold look, then turned around slowly and started walking.

Sebastian felt frozen. He desperately wanted to go after him, and tell him that he was sorry. That he didn't mean that. But he knew he had never been so harsh to Kurt. And also, there was a small, annoying part of him that had his doubts about whether he had really meant that. Maybe he had. Maybe five months were a short time, and this was when they noticed it.

But why was he realising just now? How come he hadn't felt that an hour ago? Emotions were a bitch, and they were always such a blur. _Fuck, fuck, fuck!_ Sebastian coursed, seeing that Kurt had already reached the door and was leaving.

His feet started moving then, quite fast, but he had no clue what he'd do when having Kurt near to him again. What he'd say. What if he had screwed up for good?

He took the stairs and waited for Kurt at the front door of the building. Thank God Jeremy lived on a seventh floor and not a 25th, like Sebastian did. He would have never made it on time.

Talking about making it on time, Kurt exited the building just a few seconds after him. He was crying now and didn't see Sebastian. Sebastian had to approach him from behind, feeling like the biggest jackass there had ever been on the planet.

"Kurt…" he murmured, placing a hand on his shoulder to stop him. The boy was walking really slowly, so he really didn't have to use strength or anything. Kurt stopped, but he didn't turn around. He brought a hand to his face frenetically. Sebastian guessed he was catching away his tears.

"Don't you dare look at me now" Kurt said with a trembling voice. "I look terrible when I'm crying" he added, blowing his nose on a tissue.

"I'm sure you look beautiful…" Sebastian replied tentatively, but didn't make any attempt to turn Kurt around. He placed his other hand on Kurt's shoulders too, and squeezed them softly. "Kurt, I'm so sorry" he murmured, with a weak tone he had never heard himself use.

Kurt sighed. "I'm still hurt" he admitted, not harshly, but honestly.

"I know" Sebastian breathed out, feeling incredibly regretful. "I hurt you, and I can't believe I did that on purpose" he mumbled, nervously. "I thought I would never do that – and I still did" he thought out loud. "I was feeling so rejected, Kurt…" he admitted, his weak tone back.

Kurt turned around then, and Sebastian's chest truly ached when he saw his puffy eyes.

"You were so happy to be with your friends today that I just- I didn't want you to feel like you had to leave them just because of me" Kurt explained, scratching his nape, awkwardly. "You never party with them anymore, and I don't want to be the reason you stop seeing them" he confessed. "I would never reject you…" Kurt added, looking down.

Sebastian cupped his cheeks, caressing them with his thumbs. "You were just being thoughtful, right?"

Kurt nodded, biting his lip.

"I'm such an idiotic brat, _God_" Sebastian sighed, exasperated with himself.

"You thought today hadn't been special to me" Kurt told him, holding Sebastian's sides with his hands now. "That had to be an awful feeling" Kurt gave him a sad, brief smile.

Sebastian hugged him tightly then. With need. He needed his gayface. How could he act so recklessly then?

"I don't like the way I treated you" Sebastian admitted on a whisper, hiding his head on Kurt's neck, inhaling his soothing scent. "Please be patient with me" he found himself almost begging, not even fully aware of how much he was exposing himself right now. "I can't really promise you it won't happen again" he said, feeling hopeless. He hadn't intended to hurt Kurt on the first place. "I wanna be nicer, Kurt – but I'm still a jerk, and sometimes it keeps showing."

Kurt held him tighter then, even if just slightly – and it was crazy how healing that slight amount of pressure felt. Sebastian had never really understood what the big deal about hugging was… but now he thought he did.

"I just thought it would never show with you" Sebastian whispered.

"Stop it" Kurt murmured, but he didn't break the hold. "You could be nicer, but you're not a jerk – and I love you just the way you are" he said, moving his hands along Sebastian's back on reassuring rubs.

Sebastian exhaled heavily, mouthing Kurt's collar. He was panting, and he wasn't aroused. His chest felt warm, yet they weren't cuddling in bed. He felt loved, and they weren't making love either. Love was turning out to be different than he had expected it. It was nicer too. Kinder. Personal.

They held each other in silence then, for quite a while. Sebastian was hit with a thought then. Maybe he didn't believe much in himself, but he did believe in Kurt and him.


	4. Chapter 4

Hi guys! thank you so much for your lovely and kind reviews :) unfortunately, I've had a bit of a writer's block this week :( and little time. I'm optimistic that it's pretty much over now, but I'm a little insecure yet.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this! I didn't go over the mistakes, typos, etc of the whole chapter, because I was afraid I would change something for the tenth time x) So sorry, you'll find tons, I'm sure

P.s. I don't own Glee! I just fangirl about it.

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><p>Only half an hour later, Sebastian realised they were in front of his building. He couldn't remember if they had even agreed on going there; they had simply walked in silence, holding each other, and now they were there.<p>

Sebastian greeted the doorman, feeling weirdly nervous. He took out the keys before Kurt even called the elevator, just to make himself busy. The silence was getting too loud for him, and he didn't understand why.

The elevator doors popped open and his eyes met Kurt's. Finally, it felt like reality was kicking back in. Kurt smiled at him, and Sebastian's heart skipped a beat, because this was the first time he didn't feel freaked out by Kurt's fond smile. He felt mesmerised by it, actually.

They got inside the elevator and Kurt pressed the 25th floor button. Sebastian eyed him expectantly. Suddenly, any possible awkwardness or tension was gone.

"Remember the first time I got in here?" Kurt asked him, his lips adopting a small, yet cheeky smile.

Sebastian cleared his throat. "You could barely keep your hands off me" he joked, then noticed Kurt's smirk wasn't going anywhere.

The boy nodded, then came slowly forwards and Sebastian let himself be consciously trapped against the wall. It wasn't passionate, or violent. It was Kurt's way, and it was hot as much as it was sweet, somehow.

Kurt put his hands on Sebastian's sides and looked up at him. "How silly I was – I almost left when we reached your floor" he recalled, nervously.

"You had your reasons" Sebastian chuckled, combing Kurt's hair with his fingers. It felt wonderful to be able to touch Kurt like that – like they've known each other since forever. "But I'm glad you didn't" he admitted, doing a _huge_ effort not to look away. "I think it was that night when I started falling for you" Sebastian's lips let slip, his cheeks getting warmer. _Dammit_, was he blushing now?

Kurt probably didn't notice the blush, because his eyes seemed to busy eyeing Sebastian's and letting that piece of information sink in – his pupils tickled.

He smiled nervously. "I don't know if you'll believe this, but I think that was the night for me too" Kurt said, somehow apologetic, and Sebastian wondered if Kurt was actually worried that he wouldn't believe it.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at him, smirking with amusement. "Of course I believe you" he said, then took a hold on Kurt's neck and came forwards to kiss his cheek.

Kurt's timid, sad smile made Sebastian wonder further about it. Then he remembered... "Kurt – please, forget what I said earlier." Sebastian bit his lip. "About these things not being relevant to you… I- I obviously don't believe that" he said, trying to sound convincing.

They held the stare for a few seconds.

"Sebastian, I… I also struggle to understand how I can possibly have such… _intense_ feelings for you already" Kurt said, with no little difficulty. "And I'm gonna struggle for a little longer, I'm sure" he confessed, puckering his lips. "So of course I can't be surprised if you do too."

Sebastian sighed, clenching his jaw. He shook his head. "But Kurt, I… I didn't even suspect I had that thought in me until I said it out loud" he admitted.

The doors popped open then. They had reached Sebastian's floor, but the two boys remained still on the elevator, staring at each other.

_Fuck it_, Sebastian thought. If Kurt wasn't feeling at his best, then Sebastian would make him. He took Kurt's hand on his own and held it tightly to get themselves out of the elevator.

Sebastian had the keys in hand, so it took him about five seconds to open the door. He closed the door behind them, maybe a bit more frenetic than he had intended, and trapped Kurt against it.

Sebastian cupped his hips and kissed him with need. With conviction. And Kurt kissed him back just as committed. He even wrapped his legs around Sebastian's waist, and thrust his hands under Sebastian's sweater, feeling it.

"I know you love me, Kurt" Sebastian panted against his neck. Kurt's hand reached his jaw and caressed it, making Sebastian looked up at him. He thought Kurt looked calmer now, and wanting to lock eyes with Sebastian was definitely a good sign. "It's one of the few certainties I have…" he confessed, his knees feeling weaker every second.

Kurt hid his head on the crook of Sebastian's neck and hugged him, wrapping his arms around Sebastian's back gently. Sebastian hugged him back, and he was surprised to notice, once again, the powerful healing effect of their hugs.

"I do" Kurt whispered, calmly. "And it's… it's an amazing feeling, you know?" Kurt looked up, with a smile. "The greatest."

Sebastian chest actually shivered at that. His whole torso, really. He grabbed Kurt's thighs and carried the boy to his bedroom.

They both started undressing themselves while they eyed each other. Sebastian just couldn't take his eyes off Kurt. That perfectly marmoreal skin. He approached the bed once he was fully naked, and grabbed the covers to encourage Kurt to get under those.

Sebastian knew his marble boy. Kurt was too generous to deny him sex, even if they had already _relieved_ themselves several times today, and he had to get up really early in the morning. That was why Sebastian got under the covers too and spooned Kurt, making no attempt to take things further.

"I'm so tired" Sebastian murmured on Kurt's nape, planting a kiss there.

Kurt held Sebastian's hand and brought it to his lips to kiss it. "I've been picturing this moment all afternoon" he said, caressing Sebastian's arms.

"Yeah?" Sebastian asked, trying to disguise with a smile the increasing warm tickle he was getting from Kurt's fingertips on his skin. Much to his surprise, the tickle had nothing to do with sexual arousal, but everything to do with this closeness and intimacy they were sharing.

Kurt turned around to face him. "Yeah. I don't know – I wanted to apologise too" the boy said, somewhat nervously.

Sebastian frowned, but brought Kurt closer with his hands. "Why?"

"I've been a little difficult today, haven't I?" He asked, with a crooked smile. "I mean – first I called you an asshole, then I stormed out the party not once but _twice_…" he joked, obviously embarrassed. "Oh, boy."

Sebastian chuckled. "But that's how we work" he said, only half-joking. "I piss you off, you react dramatically, and then we talk" he explained, amused. "How else would we?"

Kurt giggled, quietly. "As long as you can take it with humour." Sebastian witnessed that soft giggle turning somewhat less lively. Kurt looked at him again. "I know none of us has an easy personality, but... I really want this to work, Bas" Kurt breathed out.

"Me too" Sebastian agreed, after a few seconds of contemplating each other. There was nothing he wanted more in the world than for what they had to work. "And I think it- it does" he defended, somewhat clumsily. "We just need to relieve the tension…" he said, caressing the back of Kurt's thigh.

Kurt shivered slightly at the touch. "You're right" the boy agreed, somewhat nervously.

_Fuck_. Kurt's skin was such a time bomb. It didn't cease to affect Sebastian, seeing how easily Kurt got nervous.

"It's so flattering that you still have the courtesy to be nervous for me" Sebastian said, his voice getting unintentionally suggestive. _Dammit_, he really wanted to let Kurt sleep. He really did…

"It's no courtesy" Kurt smiled. "It's very much my pleasure" he joked, pacing Sebastian's chest with his hand.

Sebastian felt his own chest getting more sensitive at the spots Kurt touched, but he let it be. He suspected Kurt was doing it out of affection, anyway, and he was okay with that.

"It's mine too" he smiled, truly.

/

There had been an unusual tickle of excitement about holding Kurt on his arms last night. Sebastian had perceived it clearly.

It seemed ridiculous, even, when Sebastian thought about the reason. Even if they had admitted to love each other for the first time, and acknowledged their relationship was definitely something serious, Sebastian was certain they both had known those things for quite a while now.

And yet, as silly as it might seem, Sebastian hadn't really thought about it until last night. Sure, he had wondered what love meant to him, or them, more than frequently, but he hadn't necessarily pictured the two of them as a couple.

"I'm certainly disappointed at you" Sebastian heard a voice whisper somewhat near his nape, interrupting his inner monologue.

He had inevitably spaced out when Jeremy had got up the stage and started rambling about planning. Apparently last night party had paid off good for him. He was the new captain of the club now.

Sebastian turned around, confused, and found _that_ smug looking guy giving him an intense look. Sebastian frowned.

"Do I know you?" Sebastian asked, tone full of disdain. _Yeah_, the guy was hot. But there was something about his arrogance that pissed Sebastian off, somehow.

The boy smirked.

"Well, I know about _you_" he said, folding his arms and giving Sebastian a cheeky smile.

_Okay_, how this guy had even remotely reminded Sebastian of himself was a mystery now. Why was the creep staring? Sebastian was way more subtle when flirting.

"Good for you" Sebastian snorted, turning around to give Jeremy his attention again.

The boy chuckled. After a few seconds, he whispered: "Been there – done that."

Sebastian turned around to look at him again, tiredly, if only to cast the boy a harsh glare.

"Jeremy" the boy explained, pointing with his head at said boy. "Trust me – he's not worth the attention." He puckered his lips, which curled up on a malicious smirk.

Sebastian winced. "Too much information" he said, then turned his back on _the_ _creep _and decided for once and for all not to turn around again.

But the boy was persistent. He got up and sat next to Sebastian.

"When last night he told me that the legendary Sebastian Smythe had a boyfriend, I couldn't believe my ears" he commented, coming way too closer for Sebastian's comfort.

This time, Sebastian had to chuckle. _Legendary, right. _He didn't care to look at the idiotic guy, though.

"Not that the boy you were almost glued to last night didn't look quite fine, I'll give you that" the guy continued, unaffectedly, "but come on, your boyfriend?" He even had the nerve to wince at the word. "I mean, why would you need one of those in the first place?" He chuckled, quietly.

"You realise you're still talking?" Sebastian looked at him then, almost unconsciously. It annoyed him that the boy was taking so much liberties to talk to him.

"You realise you're still on Grindr?" The boy said while showing Sebastian his cell phone. There was a picture of Sebastian on the screen, along with some info. It was his Grindr profile.

_Oh_. Sebastian hadn't realised that, actually. He hadn't checked the app for a long time. Months, maybe.

"You know? Nothing screams 'stud' better than being a stalker" Sebastian told him, sarcastically. "Like- be careful right there, _hot stuff_, or I might not be able to control myself around you" he winked at the guy, then eyed him coldly.

Apparently the boy found his sarcasm funny, because he actually laughed.

"My name's Ezra Baizen – and I" he paused, then typed on his cell phone, "just favourited you on Grindr" he said, then showed Sebastian his cell phone again, which read _You just added Sebx Smythe to favourites_. "So you know where to find me" he got up and winked back at Sebastian.

Sebastian followed him with his eyes until the boy was out of the auditorium. When his eyes were doing its way back to the stage, to Jeremy, they locked unexpectedly with Kyle's, who apparently had been observing him, or them, with a frown. Kyle looked away almost immediately, obviously embarrassed that Sebastian had caught him staring. Sebastian frowned too, then he remembered he had seen Kyle and Ezra flirting last night.

/

Miraculously, Sebastian endured the whole club meeting _and_ also attended Chemistry afterwards. Not that he hated Chemistry, but… it was _so_ boring. He didn't know anyone in class. Probably it had something to do with the fact that it was Chem 101 and he was retaking it, but… those freshmen looked so boring. So attentive. So freaking excited with the whole thing. Sebastian just couldn't get what that was about. If only John was there to share a laugh…

John was the only one who knew that he was retaking Chem. Mostly, because the boy had asked for explanations when Sebastian hadn't attended the second part of the subject, otherwise Sebastian wouldn't have cared less to let anyone know about it. People wouldn't get it, anyway.

If wasn't that Sebastian wasn't intelligent enough to pass a _stupid_ initiation class – _of course not_. It was that he didn't care enough to do it. When last year he had learnt that he only needed to pass the 60% of his classes not to be expelled from college, he had immediately decided Chemistry would not be one of those.

As soon as the Chemistry lesson was over, Sebastian checked his cell phone and saw he had two text messages:

**From Marble (05:26 p.m.): Isabelle wants me to assist on a boring meeting for dinner :( :( I might finish quite late**

_Dammit_. They hadn't spent a night apart for a week now. On the other hand, that meant good news for gayface, right? Not that Sebastian was surprised. Isabelle delegated more responsibilities on Kurt every day. She trusted him. But who wouldn't, really?

**From Dad (05:03 p.m.): Your grandfather says you didn't call him. You're pissing him off, Sebastian.**

_Fuck_. His dad, that annoying submissive man – always on a rush to please his father. Well, hell could freeze before Sebastian would mimic his father's behaviour.

So naturally, he chose to ignore his father.

**To Marble (06:04 p.m.): :( Not fair! **

Plus, the deal was Sebastian would report his grades every semester. He had nothing to report so far. And the guy with the software to falsify his grades had graduated last semester. Sebastian hadn't found a replacement for the job yet.

**From Marble (06:08 p.m.): I know :(! Would you give my meerkat a kiss for me? And cuddle him? And tell him he's a good meerkat? I'm gonna miss him tonight**

Sebastian couldn't help but smile. Was he? A _good_ meerkat? Maybe. Maybe he was, if Kurt believed it.

Sebastian noticed an increasing warmth filling chest and caught a reflection of himself on the window of his car. He was sporting the most idiotic grin he had ever seen before. He cleared his throat, and looked around, making sure no one had seen him.

**To Marble (06:09 p.m.): I will. He says you're a good gayface :) And the cheesiest.**

Sebastian got in his car and sat down. He turned on the radio and the heating system. Days were getting chilly now.

**From Marble (06:11 p.m.): Just during the day. At nights I'm a natural spanker.**

Sebastian snorted. _Right_.

**To Marble (06:12 p.m.): A tease, that's what you are… **

But he appreciated the effort. Kurt was being sweet, and they wouldn't have tonight to be sweet physically. _Man_, being sweet was way easier when hands and cuddles were involved. When feelings didn't need to be spoken.

Words were needed now, though. Sebastian hurried to type in again.

**To Marble (06:14 p.m.): But I'll allow it. Have fun babe! Thanks for the love and kisses xxx**

Sebastian read the text almost four times. It didn't sound natural to him, even though he meant it.

**From Marble (06:15 p.m.): Wait 'til I can give you those in the flesh ;)**

_That's more like it_, Sebastian smirked. They could be cheeky too. Cheeky was the new sweet, right?

**To Marble (06:16 p.m.): Mmmmm I can almost feel it already**

**From Marble (06:16 p.m.): Ookay. Don't start. I don't wanna be the creepy receptionist with a boner**

**To Marble (06:17 p.m.): Call me when you're alone in bed then**

**From Marble (06:17 p.m.): That I can do :) **

_Mmm_, that was an exciting thought to hold on to. And Sebastian needed it to make it through the rest of the day. The perspective of having dinner alone was kind of a bummer.

Sebastian startled. Since when having dinner alone was a bummer? As far as his mind went, he had always had dinner on his own in New York. There had been a time when he even liked it. _Man_, what was happening to him?

His mind wandered back to the first time he had dinner on his apartment, more than one year ago. He had just come back from his grandfather's office, when he still innocently believed that there was some use to talking to him. He had felt really bitter when he had faced that bunch of expensive furniture on his apartment and realised it looked like he had never left his grandfather's office.

That was the first time he had noticed how utterly omnipotent his grandfather's presence was on the apartment. And it wouldn't be longer until Sebastian realised that the apartment would never be _his _in the first place. Not really. Even if his grandfather hadn't lived there for more than twenty years, everything screamed his name. _Hell_, everything smelled like him.

Sebastian had taken his take-away dinner to the maid's room. Because even when the apartment wasn't the biggest, of course his grandfather couldn't deprive himself of a maid.

The maid's room had looked incredibly small back then, yet it had smelled infinitely fresher, somehow. Soon enough, Sebastian would change the bed for a desk, and the old, lonely, wooden seat for two comfortable armchairs. Not that he had expected any company, but he had done so anyway.

Now the maid's room was actually _his _room. The only place where he felt comfortable enough to have dinner on his own in that apartment. Still, he didn't use it that frequently anymore.

Sebastian took out his cell phone and searched Kate's number on the directory. He would deal with not wanting to be alone later. Right now he just wanted some company for dinner, somewhere far away from his apartment.

/

Sebastian hadn't really given it a thought to why he wasn't normally friends with girls. He supposed it wasn't a matter of genres: he hardly ever made the effort to make friends, in general. And naturally, when he did, it was mostly a result of a bad hook-up he had to come across frequently.

Funnily enough, the people he was closer to in New York weren't none of that. For starters, there was Kurt, who had never been just a hook-up in the first place. And then, there were Kate and John, both straights.

His friendship with John had been probably a matter of personality. They simply got along quite fine, even if Sebastian found him too cheery and conformist. With Kate… Sebastian had always found her relatable.

"I'm hopeless, Sebastian" the girl complained with a groan.

Sebastian nodded in understatement, then took a big bite of his burger.

Kate sighed. "I mean it. Why can't we be like them?" She whispered, pointing with her eyes in the direction of a gang of students who were eating surrounded by books while they had an animated conversation about _the German genius_.

Sebastian found them quite affected, in a bad way, but he got her point. "You know what I think, Kate – maybe we don't all feel the true calling" he explained with a shrug, although he did feel kind of bitter about it.

"Can't we at least feel passionate about something?" Kate asked rhetorically, with a hint of exasperation on her tone. "I was so convinced that the Literature program would be my thing…" She lamented.

Sebastian couldn't contain a snort now. "It's been, what? Like one month?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "I know" she conceded. "But I thought I would know it as soon as I stepped one foot on one of those classes" she explained, irritated. "_Fuck_, Sebastian – I told my parents the change of major would be for the best" she hid her head on her hands for a moment, dramatically. When she dug up her head, she was smiling bitterly. "I feel pathetic."

"Yeah… that's why I never really considered a change, as much as I loathe pre-med" Sebastian told her unaffectedly.

"Oh, and you shouldn't" the girl said, seriously. "Be my case of any help."

Sebastian regarded her with curiosity. Kate was the only person he had ever met that felt as lost about her studies as he did. It was refreshing, but he usually tried to keep it light. He didn't enjoy pity-parties.

"We do feel passionate about some stuff" he commented, after a few seconds.

Kate raised an eyebrow at him, looking sceptical.

"I know I do" he defended, shrugging. "And I think you do too – what about Theatre Club?"

Kate gave him a sad smile. "Yeah – I like that too much to spoil it with a higher education" she chuckled.

Sebastian chuckled too. "Exactly. And that's a smart choice we're making, Katie" he smirked, sharing a knowing look with the girl. "You know who wouldn't see it that way, though?" He asked, rhetorically. "Kurt" he thought out loud.

"Your Kurt, you mean" Kate joked.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at her. "_Right_. I've really made him _mine_, you know" he defended, with a cheeky smile.

"_Ew_. It's kind of creepy seeing you like this." Kate shook her head, then took a long sip of her diet coke and smirked maliciously.

Sebastian threw a fry at her. "Deal with it" he said with a rough tone, but amused.

"I liked him, though" Kate smiled, kinder this time. "How come I hadn't heard of him before?" She asked, genuinely curious.

Sebastian didn't know what to answer himself. He felt a little nervous, all of a sudden.

"Everything's happened so fast" he admitted, his mind wandering through his memories, trying to remember when Kurt and he had first hooked up. "It feels weird to me too."

Kate regarded him attentively. "You love him?" She asked, straightforwardly.

Sebastian was taken aback, but not as much as he would've if he hadn't told Kurt that he loved him not even 24 hours ago. So he nodded, in silence.

"Wow" Kate made, with an intrigued smile. "Good for you, Seb" she said, kindly. "How did you know him?"

Sebastian eyed her with amusement. "You know we're not having that talk, right?"

Kate made a childish face to complain. "Oh, come on!" She protested, throwing Sebastian a fry too. "You know I'll ask him the next time I see him, _right_?" She chuckled, mimicking Sebastian's tone.

Sebastian sighed, exasperated. "There's nothing to tell there, really" he defended, feeling reluctant. "I mean, every day is completely different than the day before" he tried to explain. But how could he? He wasn't lying. Every day with Kurt was a brand new day full of new and complex emotions. "I think he hated me, at first" he recalled.

Kate chuckled now. "That sounds more realistic" she nodded, then hid her face behind a tray when Sebastian eyed her coldly. "Don't look at me like that" she protested. "It's the way he looks at you, Sebastian" she explained. "We don't look at people like that from the very first moment – and I've known you, okay?" She chuckled. "It takes some time to get to know you."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Whatever" he mumbled. "We've known each other since high school" he argued, even though he hadn't really wanted to talk about it just two minutes ago.

"Really?" Kate asked, surprised.

Sebastian shook his head. "Not really" he conceded. "That's when he hated me" he smirked. "Or probably not – I don't think he cared enough to hate me" he chuckled.

Kate smiled, attentively, and Sebastian found himself frowning. There was nothing to smile about. It wasn't like theirs was an epic love story or something. He doubted there was even a story there.

"Anyway – we came across each other a few months ago" he cleared his throat and decided to escape Kate's idiotic, fond smile. "And the timing was righter, I suppose" he shrugged.

Kate rolled her eyes. "You're seriously the worst story-teller I've ever met" she complained, but let it be.

"I did mention him once, though" Sebastian wondered out loud. "When you laughed at me because I'd just watched _Zoolander_ for the first time" he remembered with a chuckle.

"You said you had watched it with a friend" Kate frowned, confused, then her eyes tickled with surprise. "That was like- five, almost six months ago!" She pointed out, surprised.

_Six months ago?_ Sebastian wondered, feeling surprised himself. _Six months already?_

"Yeah – I remember it because… well, that was when John and I- _you know_" Kate mumbled, awkwardly.

Sebastian bit the inside of his mouth. "The little twat" he shook his head, thinking of John's erratic behaviour with Kate.

Kate shrugged. "Nah. That would never work, I'm telling you" she said, eyeing distractedly one last bit of burger she had been playing with for quite a while now.

Sebastian wondered briefly if he should talk to John, if only to spare Kate a disappointment. He knew John. He was like John himself. And the boy simply had an itch that only Kate could scratch. Once it was scratched, though, the itch would vanish for a while – until it came back again. Sebastian doubted Kate would be up for that. Not that they had talked much about John and their situation, but Sebastian wasn't so self-centred not to notice what was going on between his two friends.

/

"Hey" Sebastian answered the phone, quite asleep. He had got in bed somewhat early waiting for Kurt to call him but had fallen asleep instead.

"Hey" Kurt said back, just as enthusiastic. "Did I wake you?" He asked, concerned.

Sebastian didn't even have the energy to chuckle, so he just breathed heavily. "It's okay."

"Oh, poor meerkat" Kurt joked. "Don't worry – I'm tired too" he yawned.

Sebastian hummed. "What time is it?"

"Around midnight" Kurt offered, with a vague tone.

"Midnight?" Sebastian asked, slightly startled. "Kurt, they're exploiting you" he complained, annoyed. "It's one thing when they do it on schedule, but… _fuck_" he mumbled.

Sebastian heard Kurt sigh, but the boy remained silent.

"Kurt?" He asked, dubiously.

"This is how this business works, Sebastian" Kurt explained, tiredly. "I've known it from the start – there are no schedules, no predictive days… And it's not just the interns" he paused, "Isabelle was still there when I left."

"Because she doesn't have a life" Sebastian babbled, harshly.

Kurt breathed out. "She does. But it's not for everybody" he said, with an understanding tone.

Sebastian sighed. That was not the conversation he had been daydreaming of all afternoon long.

"Okay. I guess I don't really need to get it" Sebastian admitted, rubbing his eyes. "I'm pissed I don't always get to sleep with you – that's all."

Kurt made a warm sound. Sebastian wondered if he was smiling, or just yawning quietly.

"I'm pissed too" Kurt whispered, more kindly now. Even tender.

Sebastian snuggled up to the pillow. "I would totally go over there if I wasn't so lazy right now" he protested.

Kurt giggled. "I know, I know" the boy shushed him, sweetly.

Sebastian felt warmer at Kurt's soft giggle. How he had started liking Kurt for his cold, bitchy remarks but ended up enjoying his sweet side was something Sebastian didn't even want to contemplate.

All he could care about now were those soft, melodic sounds that Kurt made unconsciously. He needed to hear them. "So where were we?" Sebastian asked, after a few seconds, with a cheeky tone.

Kurt didn't answer right away. When he did, he sounded even lazier than Sebastian. "Really?"

Sebastian ignored it. "I think you said something about kissing me? Or was it cuddling me? It involved flesh – that much I'm certain" Sebastian said, amused, his tone getting more awake.

Kurt groaned, reluctant. "It was both" he gave in. "Though right now I would only have the energy to cuddle you" he yawned again.

"I wouldn't mind that" Sebastian agreed, bringing the pillow unconsciously closer. "I wouldn't mind that at all…"

Kurt giggled again, tiredly. "I guess I could spare a kiss or two. I'm not that selfish."

Sebastian moaned, more out of getting comfort than arousal. "I've been thinking about yesterday all day long" Sebastian confessed, getting slightly dozed off.

Kurt smiled now. Sebastian was sure that noise had been nothing but a smile. "Me too, meerkat" the boy said, timidly.

"It was one of the best days of my life – if not the best" Sebastian kept babbling, unconsciously.

"Really?" Kurt asked, with a moved tone. "It's definitely on my top 10" he giggled. "And I'm telling you – there was some tough competition there."

Sebastian groaned, slightly annoyed. "That's not fair" he pouted. "I can't beat those hormonal, high school days" he protested.

Kurt chuckled. "It's a good thing that those are not on my top 10, then."

Sebastian startled, a wave of joy he didn't know where it was coming from flooding him. "What?" He asked, confused.

"Most of my favourite days I've spent 'em with you" Kurt said, tone tentative.

A couple of seconds passed in silence, during which Sebastian's brain calculated frenetically how long it would take him to get to Kurt's.

He sighed. "Why can't I be with you right now?" He lamented with a groan.

Kurt sighed too. "Because you live in snobby Manhattan" he joked.

"Yeah…" Sebastian agreed. "I hate it" he commented, distractedly. Today was definitely one of those days when he didn't understand why he kept living on his grandfather's apartment.

"You do?" Kurt asked, surprised.

Sebastian sighed. "I don't love it" he said, bitterly. Kurt hummed in agreement. "I just wish I had the balls to move out" he admitted.

A couple of seconds passed in silence, and Sebastian couldn't help but feel uneasy. It was hard enough for him to open up – but Kurt's responses usually made it worth it. Kurt was silent now, so…

"I don't like that you're alone in there now" Kurt finally said, his tone somewhat concerned. "You'll wait for me awake? I think I'm gonna take a cab" he said, determined.

Sebastian startled. "What-? Don't, Kurt! That's not really necessary" he sat up, regretting his words already. Kurt was such a worrier.

"I think it is" Kurt argued. "I knew you didn't want to go over there lately, but… I don't know. I don't want you to be there on your own if you hate it" he said, then Sebastian heard water running. The boy was definitely preparing himself to leave.

"Okay – you're in the bathroom now" he got up, nervously. "Go back to bed right now, Kurt" he commanded, putting on his jeans. "I'll go there."

"Sebastian, I'm already dressed – don't be silly" Kurt shushed him.

"And I can take the car – less expensive and safer, okay?" Sebastian argued, then took his keys and a sweatshirt. "I'm leaving now – so stop fixing your hair" he chuckled.

Kurt sighed, slightly annoyed. "Fine" he gave up. "Be careful, dummy" he added before hanging up.

/

Kurt greeted him at the door with an effusive peck on the lips.

"You stubborn-little-tyrant" Kurt groaned against his lips.

Sebastian took comfort on a quick hug, then kissed Kurt's cheek. "Someone can no longer sleep without me" he joked.

Kurt gave him a sarcastic smile, but grabbed his hand and took him to his bedroom. Sebastian followed him in silence. He guessed Sam would be sleeping already.

"Hey" Sebastian said, somewhat nervously, when they reached Kurt's room and Kurt got quickly under the covers. Sebastian started undressing himself. "Thank you for… you know- offering to come by" he cleared his throat. "I appreciate it."

Kurt patted the mattress with his hand, encouraging Sebastian to lay down beside him. Sebastian got under the covers too and kissed his cheek, then snuggled up to the smaller boy. He felt so warm…

"Why don't you just sleep here every night?" Kurt suggested, caressing Sebastian's face with his fingers. "Until you figure out if you want to move out or not" he added, nervously. "I mean – I'm not suggesting you should move in, I just thought you'd-"

"I do want to move out" Sebastian interrupted him, noticing how nervous Kurt had got. He stroked Kurt's sides. "But I don't have the money" he confessed.

Kurt frowned, confused. "You don't?"

Sebastian gave him a sad smile. "My father's money is actually my grandfather's" he explained. "And my grandfather said he wouldn't pay for an apartment when I could simply take his" he told Kurt. "I guess that makes sense, but… That means I've gotta take it, unless…"

"Unless you pay an apartment yourself" Kurt completed it, with a sigh. "I'm not gonna lie to you…" the boy sighed, rubbing his temples. "That can be difficult. My father still helps me out with the rent" he admitted. "I pay the bills, the food and all that, but… only half the rent."

Sebastian nodded. "That's not bad at all" he thought out loud.

"I wish he didn't have to, though" Kurt said, biting the inside of his mouth. "I'm really thankful – don't get me wrong, but… it was easier when I had more roommates to share the hire."

"I get it" Sebastian told him, after a few seconds of consideration. "I wonder if my father would do the same – if I moved out" he said. "I would definitely take a job, but I'd still need some help too" he bit his lip, feeling somewhat anxious at the mere thought. Who was he trying to fool? He was not strong enough for that. He hadn't worked a day in his life for anything.

Kurt stroked his arm, though, as if he deserved the comforting. "You don't have to make your mind up yet" he told Sebastian, kindly. "And you can stay here, really – I mean, your grandfather doesn't need to know if you actually spend time over there, right?"

Sebastian felt somewhat uncomfortable. "Kurt, that wouldn't be fair" he said, with no little struggle. "I would be practically living here, but still not paying rent… That's not fair to you, or Sam."

Kurt looked down, conflicted. "You're right" he admitted. "I wouldn't mind that, though."

"I know you wouldn't" Sebastian said, regarding the generous boy with fond eyes. "You're too good." He kissed Kurt's pale neck.

Kurt snuggled up even closer, facing Sebastian's chest and intertwining his legs with his own. "I still want you to at least sleep here, okay? That's out of discussion" he commanded jokingly, wrapping his hands around Sebastian's torso.

Sebastian had one of those moments then when he couldn't really believe what he saw. The way Kurt had literally wrapped himself all over him, with his cheeks pressed against his bare skin… How could anyone not be happy with such adorable snuggles?

"Okay" Sebastian gave in, almost unconsciously. He was too distracted observing Kurt's pale, closed eyes to disturb his placid expression.

"Don't be so happy about it" Kurt opened his eyes then, casting him a cheeky look. "I'll kick you out as soon as the alarm goes off" he joked.

Sebastian slapped his arm, playfully. "Like you could resist my morning _greetings_" he snorted.

Kurt closed his eyes again, and just hummed along, the cheeky smile slowly settling for a blissful one. Sebastian closed his eyes too. Now he could certainly sleep.

/

Sebastian woke up to a slam of the door. He startled. Kurt was not beside him, and he didn't remember hearing the alarm.

"Come on, Santana! I'm just asking you for this one favour!" Sebastian heard Kurt's sharp tone coming from the kitchen. He sounded somewhat tired.

Sebastian sat up and rubbed his eyes. He should definitely not listen to Kurt's conversation. But how couldn't he? There were no _freaking _walls in the apartment.

"Because he adores you!" Kurt exclaimed. "Look, it's just one recommendation, a quick call, and I'll… I don't know, I'll do your laundry for a week when you get back here" he said, annoyed.

Sebastian frowned. _Boy_, was Kurt desperate. What could Santana possibly do for him that Kurt couldn't get himself?

"Thank you, Satan. You're the best!" Kurt said, suddenly cheery.

Sebastian definitely didn't understand their whirlwind of friendship. He got up and went to the living room, but Kurt wasn't there.

"Babe?" Sebastian asked, looking around.

"Bathroom, _babe_" Sam said, chuckling.

Sebastian laid eyes on him then. The boy was having breakfast on the couch, only wearing his underwear. Well, to be fair, Sebastian was on the same condition. But come on! He was screwing Kurt. Or dating. Or _whatever_. Sebastian couldn't help but frown.

_Okay_, there was no denying that Sam was hot. _Man_, were people born with such perfect complexion? Was he a gym addict? His torso was _fucking _spectacular.

"Bas?" Kurt asked. Sebastian turned around nervously, and saw the boy poking his head from the bathroom. Kurt followed the direction of what Sebastian had been staring at before being caught and smirked when he realised it was Sam. He narrowed his eyes at Sebastian, with an amused expression. "Well, well" he murmured.

"Shut up" Sebastian added quickly and went back to Kurt's bedroom, pretty sure that he had blushed.

Kurt appeared only a few seconds later, fully dressed and hair-styled. He was also sporting a knowing smile.

Sebastian ignored it and grabbed his clothes, prepared to get dress and leave before he could further embarrass himself.

"Aren't you silly" Kurt mumbled, coming closer and handling Sebastian his hoodie.

"Is he always naked around the apartment?" Sebastian asked, annoyed. "Because I'm not really happy about that."

Kurt raised an eyebrow, cheekily. "Oh, you're not?"

Sebastian eyed him harshly. Kurt chuckled and sat beside him on bed, cupping his face to give him a few soft, intimate pecks around the corner of his lips.

Sebastian relaxed a little, but not completely. "When is the _lovely_ Santana coming back?" He asked, desperately in need for a change of subject.

Kurt looked surprised. "Oh, did the phone call wake you?" He asked, giving him an apologetic smile.

Sebastian squeezed Kurt's knee. "That's fine. I can't sleep forever" he joked.

Kurt sat on the floor then and started doing the laces of Sebastian's snickers. "She's coming on Sunday" he commented, distractedly.

"Oh." _Great. _As if one of Kurt's _roomies_ wasn't enough. "Why would you need a favour from her?" He asked, then regretted it. "I did overhear a little" he admitted, seeing Kurt's shocked expression.

"Oh" Kurt made, somewhat off-guarded. He smiled nervously then. "I asked her for a recommendation… for you" he explained, weirdly slow.

Sebastian frowned. "What?"

"Yeah- I mean, just in case you might want to work eventually – it's so hard to get a job these days… and I know the diner isn't the greatest, but she definitely has some pulling there, and I thought… you could have the option, at least" he mumbled, nervously. "If you want to" he added, with an awkward smile.

Sebastian really didn't know how to react. He was shocked. How fast was Kurt processing? _Man_, they had just talked about it and Kurt was already looking for a job for him? It all had been hypothetical.

"Bas?" Kurt asked, biting his lip. "It's not even an interview. It's just putting in a good word for you" he said, scratching his nape. "I'm sure you could find something better, but…"

"Thank you" Sebastian managed to say. He regained himself and tried to give it some perspective. Kurt had meant to help, and he needed to be grateful. So he thanked the boy, even if he wasn't too sure he liked the idea of any of that.

Kurt probably noticed he wasn't entirely true, because he regarded Sebastian with a confused expression. "You're- welcome" he said, somewhat awkwardly.

Sebastian got up. "Well, it's getting late so I should- get going. I don't wanna stall you."

Kurt frowned. "Okay" he said, anyway. "Kiss me goodbye?" He asked, dubiously.

Sebastian locked eyes with him then and realised Kurt looked vulnerable. He sighed. It was too early for drama.

"Sure" he came forwards and grabbed Kurt's sides softly, his face only a few inches away from Kurt's. They regarded each other briefly. "See you for dinner, okay?" Sebastian asked, then came forwards and kissed Kurt on the lips for a few seconds.

They broke it and Kurt nodded, casting him a brief smile.

/

Sebastian decided to have breakfast outside. He went to a small café near NYU he used to go to almost every day last semester, before he had started to spend so many nights with Kurt.

He felt weird. He felt overwhelmed. Weighed down. He hadn't even given it as much as two thoughts to the idea of leaving his apartment. Did Kurt think he needed to get a job? _Man_, did Kurt think he was a slacker?

Kurt knew him. Maybe not entirely, but he was one of the persons that knew him the most, even if Sebastian suspected the boy was partially blindsided and seemed to only see the good things about him. Because Kurt didn't really see the whole picture. Or so Sebastian had thought until now.

But maybe he did now. Maybe he did and that was why he was suggesting the job thing. _Fuck_. If Kurt started seeing the bad things about him now, even before Sebastian said those out loud, then Sebastian was in serious trouble.

The waiter approached his table and brought Sebastian a cappuccino. There was also a pretzel Sebastian hadn't ordered. He frowned and pointed at it.

"What is this?" He asked, more annoyed than surprised. He was quite irritable this morning. Was Kurt's terrible morning mood contagious?

The waiter simply winked at him and left, unaffected by Sebastian's unkind look.

He sighed. He wasn't in the mood for that. This was his favourite café. Could anything remain the same as last year?

He spotted Kyle's signature black woollen hat then. He hadn't seen that hat in a while. _A little early in the season for that_, Sebastian thought unconsciously harsh, but greeted the boy with a polite nod anyway. Kyle returned it and sat on the only table left, right beside Sebastian's.

"Hey" Sebastian said, acknowledging his presence.

"Hey" Kyle said back, obviously reluctant.

Sebastian couldn't help a sarcastic smirk. _Boy, _did Kyle loathe him.

Sebastian decided to take out his notepad and ignored the other boy. He didn't have the energy to feel guilty about that too this morning. He started doodling on his notepad, eyeing distractedly what he had last written, almost two months ago, when he was still in France.

He frowned. It seemed ridiculous. He loved writing, yet lately he didn't even remember to make time for it. And he had nothing but free time.

"Hey, Sebastian" he heard suddenly, coming from Kyle's table. He turned and looked at the boy, if only to make sure he hadn't imagined Kyle's voice. "Some guys from Theatre are gonna meet tonight at my apartment. Kind of clandestinely…" he said, his lips curling on a contained smile. "You know…" he added, with a nervous chuckle.

"You mean Jeremy's not invited" Sebastian guessed, regarding Kyle with curiosity.

"Right" Kyle nodded, and unable to hold Sebastian's stare for more than three seconds, the boy looked down and minded his cup of coffee. "Anyway, you should come over – if you want to. And tell Woodward, and Katie – if you think they might be interested, that is" he explained with a timid smile, gesturing with his hands nervously.

"Sure" Sebastian said, folding his arms. A meeting without Jeremy sounded pretty good, really. Maybe they would actually do something. "Count me in" he smiled briefly, "thank you."

Kyle nodded again. "I thought it was time for the brains to take over" he even joked, then looked down at his book.

Sebastian frowned, surprised. Did Kyle really consider him as part of _the brains_ of the Club? Maybe the boy was more mature than Sebastian had guessed. Or maybe time did heal all wounds.

"And you can bring someone" Kyle added, putting Sebastian out of his thoughts. "The boy you were with the other night seemed pretty cool. Kurt, wasn't it?" Kyle asked with a weirdly disinterested tone that it didn't hide his interest at all.

"Yeah" Sebastian confirmed, surprised. Kyle had talked to Kurt for like, _what?_ Five minutes?

Kyle looked at him again. "I mean – maybe he could help us out. He does theatre too, right?" He asked, casually.

"_Right_" Sebastian said, regarding Kyle with intrigue now. "I'm not sure he can make it tonight, though" he added, somewhat evasively. Sebastian felt a weird tickle of guilt on his chest, because he wasn't entirely sure why he had just said that.

"Oh" Kyle made, and he sounded actually disappointed.

Sebastian felt clueless. Didn't the boy know anyone else who could help him out with that? Did it really need to be Kurt?

"That'd be a pity" the boy said, getting up. Sebastian narrowed his eyes at him. "Anyway… See you later, I guess" the boy waved his hand, clumsily.

Sebastian simply nodded, observing the boy attentively as he left. He wasn't so sure they would see each other later.

He looked down at his notepad and read: _I miss France. _The ink was blue, and it contrasted noticeably with the rest of words and doodles, written with black ink. He had just written those three words, probably just a moment before Kyle had caught his attention. He didn't remember writing it, though.

/

"I don't know, man" John told Sebastian, later at the NYU cafeteria. He sounded kind of lazy.

A weird sting of responsibility had taken over Sebastian that morning, and he hadn't missed a single lesson. Now, he had to endure the terrible smell of the pre-cooked food that people brought to the facility, though.

"Why?" He asked, a little confused. He suspected John didn't give a damn about Theatre Club, but suspicions could turn out to be wrong, right?

"It'll be probably just Kyle and the cello guy – those weirdoes…" John shook his head, amused.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. Sometimes straight guys were so disinterested about other males. It didn't matter to Sebastian that some guy was weirder than another – they were all guys, therefore _fuckable_, so…

"Katie's coming" Sebastian said, willing to play that card. He knew all it took for John to attend somewhere was the promise of girls.

John clicked his tongue, playing hard, as if he wasn't already convinced. "Still, though… I'll text you later" he said, pretending to sound casual, while he swallowed down a full spoon of stew.

Sebastian nodded. _Done. _Now he only had to talk to Katie.

Why was he making sure his friends were coming? Well, he simply didn't want to go alone over Kyle's. What if no one else showed up? Also, he needed a distraction today. Something to keep himself busy and not think about Kurt.

His phone buzzed then. New text message from Marble. _Great_.

**From Marble (12:23 a.m.): I'm sorry I overstepped this morning, meerkat. I can see it now. Dinner's still on? **

Sebastian noticed John's face coming weirdly close to his nape.

"Dude!" He protested, eyeing him with disdain, and hid his cell phone.

John chuckled. "Sorry! I miss the relationship drama" he pouted, then smirked maliciously and indulged on another full spoon.

Sebastian eyed him harshly. "Well, nothing to stick your big nose into here" Sebastian told him off.

"_I'm sorry_ sounds a lot like drama to me" John argued, teasingly.

Sebastian groaned, annoyed. "Get yourself a life."

John chuckled. "I prefer prying into yours, Seb" he threw him a kiss and Sebastian moved aside to dodge it. "Come on, let it out" John patronised him, rubbing his back.

Sebastian shook his hand off. "Don't be dramatic, jeez. We didn't even have a fight" he defended.

"You didn't?" John asked, curious.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Don't pretend to be interested, please. It's really disgusting" he smirked, sarcastically.

"But I am!" John defended, though he was laughing. "Hey, I'm serious! Plus, I remind you I was on a very serious relationship for more than four months, okay?" He chuckled. "I mean – I'm like the closest you have to a relationship adviser."

Sebastian laughed. "You realise I've been with Kurt for almost six months now, right? I mean – it's _you _who should be taking advices from me" he joked.

John's eyes widened. "Are you kidding me? How come I just fucking met him, Seb?" The boy asked, surprised, but also somewhat resented. "Almost six months… _fuck_" John repeated, incredulously. "You're the worst" he accused Sebastian, with a chuckle.

"Well, things got serious like two months ago" Sebastian defended, kind of taken aback. "Besides, I don't need to go advertising my affairs in front of everybody – that's your thing, not mine" he smirked, evilly.

John casted him a sarcastic smile. "I like to share my life, _yes_, thank-you-very-much. That's what friends do" John argued, half-playful, half-resented. He sighed. "Now tell me how you screwed up" he said, pointing to Sebastian's cell phone.

Sebastian frowned. "What makes you think I screwed up?" He protested, somewhat childish. He shook his head. "_No one_ screwed up" he reformulated it, annoyed.

"Well, if the text was from Kurt, then I'm guessing maybe he did" John exposed, getting all detective-like. "What did _the unlucky one_ do?"

Sebastian eyed him coldly for a moment. _You unlucky twat_, he thought, but gave in. "I told him I was considering to- become _financially independent_" he formulated, unwilling to tell John the whole story, "and he started looking for a job for me."

John eyed him expectantly, silent for a couple of seconds. Then he startled. "Oh, that's all?" He asked, surprised. Sebastian narrowed his eyes at him. "What a fucking crime, Sebastian" the boy rolled his eyes, exasperated. "Get over yourself, man" John shook his head.

"He overstepped, John" Sebastian protested. "His own words, not mine" he folded his arms, feeling weirdly childish. "I only said I was considering it, Jesus" he said, annoyed.

"He was just trying to help you" John mumbled with his mouth full of food, obviously very little concerned about manners. He swallowed down. "Maybe it was his way to encourage you" he suggested, eyeing Sebastian's bread. "You're gonna eat that or what, huh?" He asked, but took it before Sebastian could even answer.

Sebastian didn't really care, though. "Well, it had the opposite effect, really" he defended. "I don't like being pushed."

John shook his head, once again. "You have some responsibility issues – that's great, we all have 'em" he commented, using the bread to wipe clean his plate. "But that has nothing to do with Kurt. Kurt acted like any normal boyfriend would" he explained.

Sebastian observed John emptying down half bottle of soda. It was quite a show seeing the boy eat. A disgusting one. He was sure Kurt would agree on that.

"'Kay" the boy burped. "Gotta scrum now" John got up animatedly, grabbing an apple from his tray. "See you tonight at Kyle's, right?" He asked, confident.

Sebastian couldn't help but smirk. John probably didn't even remember having played hard just a few minutes ago. "See you" he confirmed, anyway.

Sebastian looked at his cell phone. He sighed and started to type in.

**To Marble (12:44 a.m.): It's okay. Theatre meeting for dinner. Wanna come? :) Not a party this time, I promise.**

Sebastian got up and started gathering his things while he waited for a reply. _Fuck_. He suddenly realised he had Pharma now.

**From Marble (12:45 a.m.): I'd love to :) Send me the address!**

Sebastian observed the screen and frowned. _Yeah… _He should mention it was Kyle's, shouldn't he?

**To Marble (12:47 a.m.): It's at Kyle's, though. He asked me to invite you, actually… Feel free to freak out lol Still wanna come?**

Sebastian sat down again. He really didn't feel like going to Pharma. Maybe he should call Jeremy, ask for a copy of those tests…

**From Marble (12:49 a.m.): That's nice of him, don't get all suspicious! x) I'm still coming, if that's okay? My make-up kisses are the best, you should now**

Sebastian couldn't contain a chuckle. _What a dork_.

**To Marble (12:51 a.m.): I'll text you the address in a bit. Really eager to try those :)**


	5. Chapter 5

Hi guys! :) thanks for reading and reviewing! I think my little writer's block is finally over... or so I hope!

I hope you're enjoying the fic so far. I know I'm really enjoying exploring Sebastian as a character. I feel like "Dark side" would've been a more approppriate song for him than for Blaine. It starts playing in my mind anytime I'm writing him x) lol true story...

P.s. I don't own Glee.

P.s.2. Happy reading!

* * *

><p>Kyle's appearance didn't exactly match his economy. The boy looked like a character from <em>Rent<em>, yet he had a big one apartment for himself in the expensive side of Brooklyn. Not that he was a poser; he was kind of a bohemian that came from a wealthy family.

Sebastian arrived strategically late to Brooklyn. He had nothing against the cello guy, but he'd probably be the only one arriving on time, and the boy wasn't exactly a talker. Meaning that Sebastian would have to _actually_ talk to Kyle then, and he doubted that Kyle had it in him to have two conversations with Sebastian in one day.

So why was he going to his apartment then? Well, for one, he was curious. Curious as to why Kyle had so _subtly_ asked for Kurt to come. And also curious about the meeting, in general. If they were planning something good for the club, he wanted in.

He winced as soon as he realised who had also arrived in there at the same time.

"Sebastian" Ezra greeted him, holding out the door for him. The boy didn't spare him a smirk.

_What is this jerk doing here?_ He wondered, annoyed. He didn't need Kurt to meet this jerk, who would more than probably try and flirt with Sebastian through the evening – he was certain.

Sebastian nodded politely, though. "Thank you."

They walked silently towards the elevator. _Fuck_. Kyle lived on a 14th floor. The ride would be long.

Sebastian folded his arms, waiting for the boy to say whatever idiotic suggestive commentary he was elucubrating in that thick brain of his. _Man_. Why did he like the guy so little already? It wasn't like he had done something terrible. _Yet_.

But the boy didn't say a thing. They both stood tall on the elevator, silently. Awkwardly until they reached Kyle's floor.

"After you" Ezra said, gallantly.

Sebastian bit the inside of his mouth and the harsh line he was already preparing about how the boy just wanted a good view of his backside. But he left the elevator and said nothing. There was no need to give the guy what he wanted.

He rang the doorbell and waited. John opened the door, with a flustered Kyle behind.

"Woodward, you're not the host!" Kyle complained, with a too shaky tone to sound authoritarian.

John waved his hand at him to shut him up. He made a reverence to Sebastian then.

"Mr. Smythe" he greeted Sebastian, majestically.

Sebastian snorted and patted his shoulder, then greeted Kyle with a nod.

"And you are, young man?" John asked Ezra, narrowing his eyes at the boy.

"Ezra Baizen" the boy offered John a hand, politely, but with true disinterest. "Hey, _Kyle_" his tone got immediately sugared.

Sebastian couldn't help himself and watched very closely Kyle and Ezra's exchange. Ezra put an arm around Kyle, casting him a smirk that promised nothing good.

John approached Sebastian and folded his arms, frowning at the guy, who took Kyle to the living room. John and Sebastian stood there, at the entrance, observing them.

"_Wow_. You have such a nice apartment" the boy commented, looking around with an affected expression of admiration.

"He's like the gay version of me" John joked, hitting Sebastian's hip with his own, playfully.

Sebastian smirked. "Aw. Don't think so little of yourself, Johnny" he said, gaining a laugh form John.

/

As the evening carried on, it became quite obvious to Sebastian that Kyle loved Ezra's attention. The boy looked so delighted that he didn't even seem to notice Ezra's furtive yet intense looks at Sebastian. Sebastian did, but he ignored it.

"I'd like to try something more radical, though" a brunet boy whose name Sebastian kept forgetting said.

"Care to be a tiny bit more specific, dear?" John asked, unconsciously harsh.

His harshness was quite understandable, actually. They had been talking for almost an hour now, but they seemed unable to agree on anything.

The boy blushed, timidly, and looked down, biting his lip. Somehow, it reminded Sebastian of Kurt. It had to be that, because there was no other way to explain why Sebastian interceded right then:

"Radical sounds good to me" he said, shrugging. "What did you have in mind?" Sebastian asked him, although it took the boy a few seconds to notice, since he was looking down and Sebastian hadn't pronounced his name.

"Oh" he made, looking pleasantly surprised. "There's something we studied in class last year, in Spanish…" he looked at Kyle, as if asking for back-up. Kyle didn't seem to follow. "The _esperpento_, remember?" He asked, tentatively.

Kyle smiled, surprised. "Yeah" he said, sitting up straighter, as he was processing the idea. "Yeah – that would be great" he added, enthusiastically.

John rolled his eyes. "Well, some of us here don't know more Spanish than _gracias_ and _mi amor_, so could you please… elaborate?" He said, exasperated.

"I thought you were literate" Sebastian mocked him, smirking. John kicked his foot. "It's Valle-Inclán's most famous line of work. A Spanish dramaturg" he explained, gaining an incredulous frown from more than one of his peers.

The silence that followed his words was thick. John's chuckle put an end to it, _thankfully_.

"Don't look so surprised, you idiots" John grabbed Sebastian by the shoulders and rubbed his knuckles harshly against head. "My boy here is actually pretty smart" he joked, while Sebastian struggled to get rid of him. "Don't let his breath-taking sex-appeal misguide you" he winked at the boys and Sebastian got rid of him.

"Jerk" Sebastian protested while he tried to fix his hair.

John puckered his lips on a kiss and everyone chuckled. _Great_. Sebastian didn't really enjoy how John loved playing the class clown. They were sophomores in college now, _for Christ's sake_. Plus, the boy was smarter than that. Why he liked to play dumb instead was a mystery, and it exasperated Sebastian.

"I honestly don't know anything about Spanish theatre" Ezra spoke then, with a _falsely _modest smile, making Sebastian wince. "Would you explain it to me, Sebastian?" He asked, timid-like.

Sebastian had to contain himself not to scoff. "I'm pretty sure Kyle or… Sorry" he shook his head. "I can't remember your name right now" he casted an apologetic smile to the brunet, shy boy.

The boy waved his hand, in a 'don't-worry-about-it' way. "That's okay. I'm new to the club so…" he commented, understanding. "It's Jim. Jim Parker."

Sebastian nodded. "Nice to meet you, Jim." He looked at Ezra then. "Like I was saying – these guys know probably more than me about it."

Kyle stood up then, all of a sudden. He looked uncomfortable, somehow. "I think I'm gonna order those pizzas now. Sounds good?" He asked in general, casually. "Let's see… How many pizzas should we order..." He locked eyes with Sebastian then. "Sebastian. Should I include Katie and Kurt in the maths?"

Sebastian frowned. _Talk about_ _passive-aggressive_. "Yeah. Think so."

Everyone stood up, taking it as they were on a break now. Sebastian took out his cell phone.

**To Marble (08:32 p.m.): Babe, where are you?**

The buzzer rang then, making him startle. He ran to the front door, but Kyle was already there.

"Hello?" Kyle answered it. Sebastian could almost hear Kurt's high-pitched and melodic voice.

"Hi Kyle, it's Katie."

_Bummer_. Sebastian thought, turning around to go back to the living room. He bumped into Jim then.

"Oh – sorry man" Sebastian apologised, patting his shoulder.

"That's o-kay" Jim said, casting him a nervous smile and stepping aside to make room for Sebastian to pass.

"Thanks" Sebastian said quickly while he made his way to the couch. He didn't see the moment to tumble down all over that _heavenly _comfy couch.

_God_. It was as comfortable as he had remembered. Even better, maybe. Well, that had been almost one year ago, _anyway_. Memory could be unreliable.

"I take it as you made up with Kurt" John said, who had just sat down on an armchair right beside the couch.

Sebastian sighed. "Nothing to make up for" he shook his head, tired.

John snorted. "_Right_. The kid truly is a saint if he puts up with your denial" he commented.

Sebastian felt exasperated. "Would you give me a break, Johnny?" He bit back, throwing the boy a cushion.

John threw it back at him. "Nope" he said with an animated tone, though he looked like he meant it. "That's what friends are for" he winked, maliciously.

Sebastian eyed him harshly. He didn't really know whether to feel annoyed or confused. _Yes_, they were friends but they weren't _that _kind of friends, _were they?_

He bit the inside of his mouth. "He apologised. I said it was okay. We cried, sang a song and made love until sunrise" Sebastian ranted with sarcasm. John chuckled. "The first two facts are true, though. The last one will have to wait" he casted John a cheeky smirk.

His phone buzzed then. _Finally_.

**From Marble (08:36 p.m.): Just got in the subway. Hope you saved me some dinner bc I'm starving!**

Sebastian smiled. _Good_. It wouldn't be longer then.

**To Marble (08:37 p.m.): We just ordered ;) **

"Aw. Aren't you sweet" John giggled, exploding Sebastian's happy bubble. "Your face just lightened up, _lovebird_" he explained.

"Are you jealous, Johnny?" Sebastian got up and threw himself at the boy, grabbing his shoulders to be the one knuckling his head this time. _Payback time_. "I've got plenty of love for you both, silly" Sebastian said sweetly, struggling with John's hands to steal a kiss from him.

"_Oh-you-bastard_" John complained between laughs, until Sebastian finally succeeded and gave him a peck on the lips. John made a face and started rubbing his lips frenetically, probably just to play along with the scene. He laughed.

"You two are like little kids, I swear" Katie said, who had just arrived. The girl stood there, observing them with an expression of amusement.

"Terracotta" John stood up. All gentleman-like, he offered the girl his seat, which she took but didn't thank him. "Oh- _real cute_ – we say the word _pizza_ and Katie suddenly appears. I find it really suspicious" he joked, arching an eyebrow at her. He sat down right beside Sebastian on the couch.

Katie chuckled. "I've got an amazing pizza radar" she said, all diva-like. "I'm cool like that."

Sebastian rolled his eyes but laughed along. "You didn't miss anything important, really."

"Well, that's not entirely true" Ezra said, joining the conversation though no one had invited him. The boy grabbed a cushion and sat on the floor. "We did perfection our Jeremy's jokes – so there's that" he joked. "That idiot."

Sebastian just couldn't help it. Every time the boy opened his mouth to say something, he felt like barfing. He narrowed his eyes at him, almost unconsciously.

"Says the guy who boned him just a few days ago" he pointed out harshly and smirked with great,_ great_ pleasure.

Ezra seemed to take it good, though, because he smiled suggestively in return. Sebastian noticed Kyle then, who was grabbing a cushion to sit in the floor too but stopped midway, startled. In his defence, he regained himself quickly enough, but Sebastian was just faster at reading people.

Sebastian damned himself. Not because he felt guilty about spitting some truths to Ezra's face, but because Kyle obviously liked Ezra, and Sebastian had chosen a very indelicate way to put it.

It didn't help that John laughed quite loud. "_Man_ – you did bone him too" he kicked Sebastian's foot. "I'm starting to think you've boned so many guys you don't even remember anymore" he mocked Sebastian, really amused.

_That's not helping_, Sebastian thought, who saw Kyle scratching his nape nervously. "I can always count on you to remind me." Sebastian glared at John as hard as he could.

John stopped laughing and cleared his throat. His expression got serious, and awkward. "Got it – don't say things like that when Kurt's here. Got it" he nodded, his lips puckering once again repressing a chuckle.

Sebastian punched him on the ribs this time, unable to contain it any longer. John winced with pain but seemed to take the hint to stop talking, because he shut up after that.

When Sebastian looked back at the people gathered around them, it wasn't only Katie, Kyle and Ezra anymore. Jim and two other guys he hadn't cared to learn his names were there too, observing them.

_Damn John_, he thought with exasperation. He always made them be the centre of attention with his idiotic comments. He sighed.

Thankfully, Katie gave Sebastian a hand. "You know he's just jealous you haven't boned him yet, right?" The girl joked, gaining a childish pout from John.

The boy immediately changed it for a playful smile. "You got me, Katie. Thank you for not kicking me out from your bed too, love. I wouldn't be able to handle so much rejection" John said dramatically, hiding his face between his hands briefly.

Katie knew how to defend herself, though. "I took pity on you, Woodward. Someone had to" she bit back, not losing his cool.

"_O-kay_. Does any of you guys have some awkward stories to tell or shall we three keep embarrassing ourselves? Hm?" Sebastian asked to the rest of boys, sarcastic, while he rubbed his own hands. "Woo. It's getting chilly here, huh?"

"Yeahhh – the heating of this building sucks, I'm sorry" Kyle apologised, casting them all an awkward smile. "You can borrow a sweater from me, would that help?" He asked, nervously.

Sebastian frowned at the kind gesture, but didn't hesitate to get up. "Sure" he said, embracing this opportunity to corner the boy and find out what he was up to.

"Oh" Kyle got up too, surprised – as if he didn't really expect Sebastian to take him up on the offer.

Sebastian followed the boy to his bedroom, though he already knew the way there. Kyle started going through a pile of clothes that laid over a wooden table.

"I know it doesn't look like it, but this is actually my clean clothes pile" he explained Sebastian with an apologetic smile.

Sebastian waved his hand. "Don't worry about it" he said, approaching him.

"Here" Kyle handled him a hoodie. "I think this will fit."

"Cool. _Hey_" Sebastian hurried to say when he noticed Kyle was preparing himself to leave. "I've been meaning to ask you something" he admitted. Kyle looked clueless. "Thanks for the hoodie, by the way" he added, to make it less awkward.

"No problem" Kyle said, distrust on his voice.

"Yeah – it's nice of you. It's also kind of weird, though." Sebastian forced himself to pause after that. He didn't want to be harsh on the boy. Kyle was a good kid, he shouldn't really corner him like that. "Look – you hadn't talked to me for almost a year now" Sebastian explained, shrugging. "And you invite me over all of a sudden? And tell me to bring my boyfriend? I mean – it's weird. No offence."

Kyle looked somewhat embarrassed, and he didn't answer right away. "Sebastian I-…" He locked eyes with Sebastian then and truly looked at him, for what it felt like the first time in forever.

"Kyle, I'm sorry for the way I treated you" Sebastian said instead. He'd got the feeling that Kyle was about to apologise, and it felt completely out of place. Plus, Sebastian wouldn't admit this to anybody, but he had meant to apologise to Kyle for a while now. He had treated the boy like a cheap fuck. Kyle looked really surprised at his words, though. "I am" Sebastian nodded, as if to dissipate any possible doubt. "I'd like to think I'm a better guy now, but I- I really don't know. I wouldn't do that again – that's for sure" he defended.

Kyle rubbed his nape, looking somewhat calmer. Sebastian noticed the boy had changed the way he looked at Sebastian then, even if at a subconscious level. He looked really chill around him again. Like he had never been before, actually – not even one year ago. It felt nice.

"I- um- _thank you_" he babbled. "I think I really needed that apology" Kyle confessed, casting him a small smile. Sebastian returned it. "I did feel a little hurt, to be completely honest" he chuckled, awkwardly. "But- um, not anymore" he assured Sebastian. "I guess that's why I can talk to you again" he joked.

"I'm glad to hear that" Sebastian smiled. "And about the other stuff- please, just forget it" he chuckled. "I mean – I don't even know why I cornered you for being kind to me" he admitted, relaxed and grateful that they could talk like this now.

Truth to be told, they had never talked like this before. When Kyle was into him, before they slept together, the boy acted always timid and cautious around him – too nervous to relax. Now, it looked like he was finally being himself.

"Oh – no, no. You were totally right to be suspicious" Kyle admitted, chuckling. "_Please_, don't judge me but… I just wanted Ezra to know that you had a boyfriend" he admitted, getting all embarrassed again.

Sebastian folded his arms, not sure if he should laugh, or sigh with exasperation. "Man…" he chucked briefly, to make it less rough. "Ezra's bad news" Sebastian managed to say, gaining a frown from him. Sebastian bit the inside of his mouth nervously. Kyle was treating him like a human being again – he didn't want to spoil it so soon. "Look, I really hate to tell you this – but the guy knows I have a boyfriend, and he's not subtle about it" he arched an eyebrow, in a 'if-you-what-I-mean' way.

Kyle looked confused. "Does he" he simply said, looking kind of disappointed.

Sebastian casted him an apologetic smile. "I don't really know him… but I'd dare to say that he and I… we're pretty much alike, when it comes to guys" he admitted.

Kyle narrowed his eyes at him, an incredulous smile appearing on his lips. "But you have a boyfriend now" he said with a tone that was midway between a question and a statement.

"I do" Sebastian confirmed, "but it's so new for me I keep adjusting every day. It's taking time, and drama" he chuckled, probably more to release the tension than out of amusement, "loads of drama – trust me. I just- I thought I should warn you, man" he shrugged, "that he might treat you the same way I did."

Kyle nodded, biting down his lower lip as he took those words in. He didn't look at Sebastian for a moment. "I appreciate it" he finally said, more regained, though not entirely. "I guess I know how to pick them" he joked, awkwardly.

Sebastian patted his back, amused. "Nah – it can be hard to tell us apart" Sebastian conceded.

The buzzer rang then, _thankfully_ – because Sebastian suspected the conversation was pretty much over. They made it back to the living room and Kyle attended the buzzer.

"Kurt's on his way up" he announced to Sebastian, who nodded in gratitude.

He eyed his spot on the couch, then looked at John and smirked. "I want your ass out of there, Johnny."

John sighed dramatically, but got up anyway. "I'm doing this because I like Kurt – just so we're clear" he chuckled.

"I really don't care" Sebastian argued distractedly, taking a blanket from a basket and spreading it over the couch. It was cold outside, and he was sure Kurt could use some extra heating when he noticed the apartment wasn't much warmer than the street.

"Look how thoughtful he is, Katie" Sebastian heard John commenting with the girl lowly, though loud enough for Sebastian to hear it. "We taught him well" he chuckled.

Sebastian rolled his eyes and went to the main door, not really keen on the idea of greeting Kurt in front of everybody.

Sebastian poked out his head and looked into the hallway. Soon enough, he saw Kurt getting off the elevator with a disoriented look on his face. Sebastian came out the apartment and waved his hand at him.

Kurt looked immediately cheerier, and Sebastian was hit with the image that John had described for him not long ago, about his face lightening up when he got a text from Kurt.

Kurt's face had just done exactly that, even if unconsciously.

"Hey" Kurt greeted him, stopping a couple of feet away from Sebastian.

Sebastian arched an eyebrow at him, disconcerted. Kurt smiled nervously, and brought a hand to his head. Sebastian knew what his next words would be: somewhere between _I'm sorry _and _about this morning_.

"Come here" Sebastian shushed him and grabbed his waist softly, bringing Kurt closer to greet him properly.

Kurt's lips were a little surprised at first, but its response became gentler after a few seconds. When they broke the kiss, Kurt's lips rested on his cheek, lingering there in a loving way.

"I thought you were mad at me" Kurt admitted, eyeing Sebastian coyly.

Sebastian cupped his cheeks and shook his head. "Let's not talk about it, okay?" He found himself asking.

Kurt regarded him with doubt for a moment, but eventually casted him a small smile, giving in. Sebastian sighed with relief, and directed Kurt to the apartment.

"We just ordered pizza" he commented, mostly to change the subject. Kurt simply nodded.

As Sebastian closed the apartment door, he regarded the boy in front of him. Even though they had kissed and made up, his expression was less cheery than before they had done so. He let it be, though.

"So… Kurt, you already know John, Kyle and Katie. These are-"

"Ezra" Kurt nodded, smiling politely, which made Sebastian frown. _Wait, what?_

"Oh" Sebastian made, feeling dumb enough. Ezra's smug smile at Kurt was getting under his skin. "So you guys know each other" he commented. He noticed Kyle had looked down.

"Yeah – we met the other day. At Jeremy's" Kurt shrugged, giving Sebastian an intrigued smile as he noticed how puzzled Sebastian looked.

"_Right_" he observed, clenching his fist unconsciously. When the silence was getting suspicious, he cleared his throat. "_O-kay_. And these are Jim, and… _Fuck_, guys, I suck at remembering names, I'm sorry" he apologised, being this the second time he let his disinterest show.

"Harry" a blond boy who looked like he was still in high school said.

"Paul" a red-head one added.

"Nice to meet you guys" Kurt smiled sincerely. "So – did I have the privilege to be invited to a clandestine meeting?" He joked, breaking the ice as he sat down on the couch.

John chuckled. "That pretty much sums it up" he agreed. "But we're a bunch of slackers, Kurtie. I really hope you're here to set us right" he joked, affectedly.

Sebastian couldn't spare him a glare. _Quit the nickname, asshole._ John didn't notice, though.

Kurt giggled. "I'll see what I can do" he conceded. "So what are you guys working on?" He asked, with true interest.

Sebastian regarded him attentively. There was a shadow underneath his lashes that indicated Kurt was tired. His skin was always a map to read Kurt's state.

He sighed. Kurt had been working non-stop since 9 a.m. and yet he had the courtesy to be interested about their silly meeting and to be nice to everyone, Sebastian included. The few times Sebastian noticed these things, it overwhelmed him.

He got up. "I'm gonna get you a beer" he announced to Kurt, going to the kitchen. "Anyone?" He remembered his manners just in time.

Almost everybody wanted one, so Ezra _politely_ got up too to help. Sebastian damned himself.

They got to the kitchen and Sebastian started handling him over cans of beer, in silence.

"If you wanna know how I met your boyfriend, just ask" Ezra said, making him startle.

Sebastian turned around to look at him. "Let me guess. Was it epic?" He eyed him harshly, employing a sarcastic tone.

Ezra looked amazed. "_Wow_. All claws and fangs, aren't you. Your possessiveness is kinda hot" he chuckled.

Sebastian handled him the last can a little unkindly, but he couldn't wait to get out of the room. He wasn't a possessive person. He had never been. He believed people were free. That was why he never committed, because he was free. _Oh_.

But he had. Committed, that was.

He shook his head. He didn't feel less free because he was committed to Kurt. At least not yet.

Sebastian sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh and offered to open Kurt's beer for him. Kurt shot him a smile of gratitude, squeezing his knee.

_Finally_. Sebastian felt himself relax. All he really needed was for Kurt to behave normally around him. That was all. He felt a little guilty, though. Kurt was too easy at forgiving.

/

"… The problem is we've never really seen those plays on a stage, you know? We read them, but not _saw_ them" Kyle was explaining to Kurt.

"Well I did watch some Youtube videos" Kurt commented, while taking a bite from his pizza slice. "Not the greatest quality, but… you can get an idea" he suggested. "It would certainly help to have someone fluent in Spanish."

"The new kid" John startled, hit with a revelation. "The new kid is Mexican, if I'm not mistaken" he repeated, a little possessed.

Sebastian couldn't contain a snort. _Oh, you think?_ He was pretty sure John had already made his homework. The boy was such a snob, contributing to the already big hype that this Broadway kid was creating.

"But we don't know when he's coming exactly" Kyle argued, conflicted. "It might be soon, it might be by the end of semester… I heard his show will be running for a while yet."

Kurt looked surprised. "What show? Is he a professional?" He asked, all gossip-like.

Sebastian brought a hand to his forehead. _Oh, dear_. _Please, don't overreact_.

"You don't know about that?" John asked, surprised – with the same tone of gossiping Kurt had employed. "NYU landed Adrian Benavides – and he's already signed in the Theatre Club! Though he's not attended any meeting yet…" he added, somewhat lower.

Kurt gasped and covered his mouth. "Shut up" he said, dramatically, reacting exactly as Sebastian had predicted. "I'm so, _so _jealous right now – I can't even stand it" he joked, but his expression was quite serious. "I've been dying to go see him at _Newsies_, but my schedules suck" he lamented. "_Oh_, and it's his grandparents who are Mexican – he's from the Bronx, actually" he confirmed, with an unquestionable tone. He had certainly made his homework too.

John hummed with disappointment. "Then he might as well know as much Spanish as I do" he chuckled.

"Let's be optimistic, gentlemen" Ezra chuckled, amused by the scene.

_Okay. _What was Ezra doing here? But for real now. He had barely contributed to the conversation; not now, not before. Was he here only to bone Kyle? To flirt with Sebastian? Sebastian had no clue. He was annoying as fuck – that much Sebastian knew.

"Guys – but you do realise this could be huge, right?" Katie asked, truly excited. "If no one has ever done this play in New York – then we might have a true treasure trove on our hands" she explained. "It might be worth the effort, you know" she suggested.

"You're right" Sebastian agreed. "Everything else… is irrelevant" he wondered out loud. "We'd have a great audience."

"Oh, boy" Jim said, nervously. "Which could turn out really badly, if the play doesn't come up right."

"But not many people will notice that" Sebastian smiled, cheekily. "Not even on its own country this play was staged for years. You know, with the censoring and… all" he gestured, as if that was obvious.

"Why?" Kyle asked, intrigued.

Sebastian noticed then that everyone was looking at him expectantly, while Kurt regarded him with smiling eyes, as if he knew the answer but loved the fact that Sebastian knew it too. It made him blush a little.

"Spanish fascism, for one" Sebastian explained shortly. "It lasted until the seventies" he added, "and _Luces de bohemia _was first published in 1920. But it wasn't only that. People didn't really get Valle-Inclán's plays. The guy was too modern for his time."

"We've gotta make this play" John stated, looking truly transported, like he was having a visionary moment. "We've just got to" he repeated, to no one in particular.

"You haven't even read the play" Kyle rolled his eyes. "But you know we've still got to get Jeremy on board with this, right?" He asked, dubiously.

"I can handle that" Ezra said, cheekily, gaining a general chuckle from everyone. Not from Sebastian, though.

John rolled his eyes at him. "Well, aren't you a little cocky, _young man_" he observed, half-amused, half-annoyed.

_I knew there was a reason we were friends_, Sebastian thought, beaming.

"Enlighten me. Why is that?" Ezra folded his arms, playing along.

"Jeremy's the easiest man I've ever known" John chuckled. "I'd dare to say even _I _could convince him to agree on the play" he shrugged, full of himself.

Sebastian smirked, waving a hand at Ezra, to shut him up. "_Nah_. I bet you couldn't" he said to John, employing a casual tone.

John's eyes got a little wide for a brief moment. Then he chuckled. "Don't think I can't read right through you, Smythe" John defended. "You don't need to play evasive to get me to come on to Jeremy and fool him – I'd love to and I will" he laughed.

"How come this guy was elected captain if you all loathe him so much?" Kurt asked Sebastian, bewildered.

"Influence. Contacts. That sort of things, babe" Sebastian winked at him.

Kurt narrowed his eyes at him. "Then you don't get to complain about him – if you actually chose him" he joked, talking to everyone then.

"But it's more fun this way" John disagreed, with a cheeky smile. "We've got a sucker who does all the paperwork, and we get to do the actual fun parts" he explained.

Kurt tried really hard not to wince, Sebastian noticed. His gracious, wrinkled nose didn't approve of that. "Amateurs" he bit back, his lips curling up on a bitchy smirk.

"Aren't we cheeky today?" Sebastian came forwards to bite _that _freckled nose, little self-aware in that moment.

Kurt groaned with pain and rubbed his nose, but left a hand on Sebastian's back, patting it with affection. Sebastian noticed a sudden, slight blush on his cheeks, and realised Kyle and Ezra were observing them. _Weird_.

John started rambling about the Benavides kid once again and Sebastian seized the chance to bring Kurt closer and whisper on his ear, so no one else would hear them.

"Hey, it's Thursday night" he commented, cheerily.

Kurt regarded him with curiosity.

"We get to sleep in a little on Thursdays, right? I mean, you have class at 10:30 tomorrow" Sebastian explained.

Kurt eyed him with surprise, as if it was completely unexpected that Sebastian knew his schedule. "That's right" he confirmed, caressing now Sebastian's clavicle. "But you have class at 9" he reminded him, with a cheeky smile that said '_got ya_'.

Sebastian bit the inside of his mouth, pretending to be pondering it. "I think I can sacrifice myself, though" he objected.

Kurt raised an eyebrow at him. "You've done that too many Fridays already" he argued.

"Who wants a refill?" Kyle announced while he got up and gathered the empty beer cans on the table.

Kurt hurried to help, escaping Sebastian's hold and getting up too to clean up the table.

Sebastian groaned, but got up too, reluctantly. "Come on, Kurt – don't be like that" he protested on a whisper, thrusting his hand under the back of Kurt's shirt playfully.

Kurt shook his hand off, blushing. "Sebastian!" He mumbled nervously. He disappeared following Kyle to the kitchen, carrying empty boxes of pizza.

"Hey, Kurt" Sebastian heard that Kyle told him as they left the living room. "I was wondering if you'd like to see an adaptation I'm working on-"

Sebastian couldn't hear anything else from the living room. It was okay, though – he trusted Kyle, didn't he? They had just made up not more than one hour ago, so that had to count for something.

Jim approached him then, making him startle, as his attention was still fixed on the two boys in the kitchen.

"Sebastian?" Jim asked, tentatively. "So… we hadn't been properly introduced before, so you probably don't know that I write in _The four feathers_" he explained, and Sebastian wondered if he should know what that was. "NYU cultural magazine" Jim clarified, noticing Sebastian's frown. _Nope_, Sebastian didn't know that, actually, nor did he care. "Yeah – so, I was wondering… Kyle says you're grandma is Edna Rowles" he stated.

Sebastian frowned, more surprised than anything, really. "You've heard about her?"

"Of course" the boy smiled, enthusiast. "I'm a huge fan of her" he nodded, seriously.

"Okay" Sebastian chuckled. "What about her?"

"Well… I was wondering if she'd be interested in an interview" Jim explained, shyly. Sebastian's eyes got a little wide at that. _Interview her? Edna?_ It wasn't like she was that famous. "Actually, I think it would be lovely if you wrote the piece – you know, since you're her grandson… but I'd totally get it if you don't want to" he mumbled, nervously. "If you don't think she'd be interested, that's totally fine" he added, scratching his nape.

Sebastian was in shock, so he couldn't bring himself to answer right away. "Are we talking about the same Edna Rowles?" He needed to make sure that much.

Jim's natural insecurity showed. "The Broadway st-star, right?" Jim asked, confused.

Sebastian nodded, still uncertain. "That should be her, right." Jim looked expectant; he was probably regretting asking already. "Well… let me ask her and I'll get back to you, okay?" Sebastian decided to take mercy on him, since he had dared to ask an all. He was aware he could come as intimidating sometimes.

Jim smiled, relieved. "Thank you – that'd be terrific" he assured Sebastian, enthusiastic. "And about writing the piece – it's okay if you don't want to" he repeated. "I mean – it'd be good enough if I could get the interview alone" he joked, awkwardly.

Sebastian needed to ask. "You know she's really not that famous, right?" He frowned. "I mean – her career wasn't that spectacular. It was actually kind of brief" he explained.

Jim chuckled. "Well, it's just a college magazine, you know?" He conceded. "It's not like we get to interview Sutton Foster everyday" he joked.

_Right_, Sebastian chuckled too. "Oh – I get it" he smiled. "Where can I get a copy, though? So I can show her."

"Oh – here" Jim disappeared briefly and came back carrying a not-so-bad-looking magazine, which he handled to Sebastian with pride. "This is our baby" he joked. "We only started on September" he explained.

Sebastian regarded the second number of _The Four Feathers _with curiosity. It looked kind of interesting.

"Okay – I'll give it a look" he promised, smiling. "Thanks for the offer, by the way" he realised suddenly. "How do you know I don't suck at writing?" He inquired, smirking.

Jim chuckled, coyly. "Kyle said you were a good writer" he explained. "I trust his judgement."

Sebastian felt confused. He almost didn't remember having showed Kyle anything he had written. But he had, that fatidic night. He had been too drunk to remember it until now, though.

"Oh" he made, putting the pieces together.

Jim casted him a small smile and left to sit down on the floor again, where everyone was gathered. Except for Kyle and Kurt.

He sat down too, feeling somewhat uneasy.

"We were just commenting, Sebastian," Ezra said, catching his attention, "that your boyfriend seems lovely" the boy said, his lips curling up on a cheek smile then.

"Yo-your boyfriend?" Jim asked, confused.

"Kurt" Ezra explained, making the boy blush.

"Oh – _right_" Jim said, chuckling awkwardly. "I didn't know he was your boyfriend" he commented, shyly.

Sebastian had been around too many kinds of guys not to know how to read into Jim's reactions. He suspected the shy boy was into him. Jim was the kind of guy who used to feel attracted to Sebastian. He decided not to make Jim feel awkward about it, though – something he would've enjoyed doing not long ago, before he met Kurt.

Even though Kurt was not a shy person exactly, he did act coyly with Sebastian sometimes. As if what they had was so much to handle, so overwhelming for him, that his nerves were the way Kurt dealt with it. Sebastian had learnt a thing or two about shyness ever since.

"Bas!" Kurt screamed then, excitedly. He rushed into the living room beaming. "Look what wonderful notes Kyle had on _Follies_!" He exclaimed, sitting down right next to him and showing the notes. "This is gonna come in handy on Sunday's rehearsal" he commented, enthusiastic.

"Sure" Sebastian agreed, though he didn't exactly share the enthusiasm about pulling a show together for eighty-year-old grandpas and grandmas – not even if one of them was his.

"You're doing _Follies_?" John asked, confused.

"At his grandma's residence" Kurt explained, proud grin still on. "We're helping them out on Sundays."

Ezra chuckled. "Sounds like the true definition of Sunday Fun Day" he said, with subtle sarcasm.

Kurt eyed him coyly, obviously taking in the mocking tone.

"It is" Sebastian interfered, resting an arm on Kurt's shoulders. He brought the boy closer to kiss his cheek. "Until midday – then we go back home and make it Sunday No-Clothes Fun Day, if you know what I mean" he added suggestively, gaining a snort from John.

Kurt didn't seem to find it funny, though. "Right" he mumbled, gathering and collecting all the notes he had just spread over the table and keeping 'em on his satchel.

Sebastian found it a little weird, since the boy had barely showed him a couple of them.

"Well, we can't all have such an active sexual-life, Seb" John chuckled, getting back at him for his bragging. "Much less since you're off the market, am I right boys?" He joked, maliciously, looking at Jim, Kyle and Ezra knowingly.

_Damn his perception_, Sebastian mentally coursed. Kurt bit down his lower lip with a tense, ironic smile. _Crap_.

"Ain't that the truth" Ezra murmured, gaining himself a glare from Kurt, who immediately looked away, probably embarrassed and hoping no one had noticed it.

"That's what happens when you come across a hips-shaker" Sebastian joked, holding Kurt closer. "I had no choice" he smirked, cheekily.

Kurt felt a little tense under his arm, though, so Sebastian loosened up the hold and regarded him with caution. Kurt normally found his idiotically suggestive commentaries funny, didn't he? Why did he look so uncomfortable now?

"A hips-shaker" John laughed, incredulous. "Wow. Kurtie, dear, I might have to seriously consider going gay for you" he joked.

Kurt shot him a sarcastic, almost bitchy smile, but said nothing. Sebastian frowned. Since when did Kurt bite his tongue?

"You're a gem, John" Kate shook her head, bored. "Can't you see you're making him feel uncomfortable?" She told him off, with a glare.

John frowned. "Am I?" He wondered, then looked at Kurt. "Sorry Kurtie – I thought your tolerance for dumbness would be higher, since you're dating Sebastian and all…" he smirked.

Kurt snorted. "John – I really look forward to the day I start liking you" he said, full bitchy mode now. John laughed openly, unaffected.

Sebastian couldn't contain a chuckle. "Have you seen that look?" Sebastian asked John, pointing with his hand at Kurt's eyes. "I mean… _damn_, right?" He deepened his voice, making it suggestive, and gained himself a snort from both John and Ezra, which made him feel uneasy.

Kurt stood up, nervously, and grabbed his satchel. "O-kay. I believe it's getting late now. Thank you for the dinner and the notes, Kyle" he nodded, casting him a kind smile.

Sebastian stood up and grinned maliciously, already picturing his promised award when they were alone. "Well, it's been lovely you guys, but gayface here keeps saying he owes me a good make-out/make-up session, so…" he chuckled.

Kurt blushed impossibly harder. "I swear you're gonna sleep on the floor tonight" he gave Sebastian a murderous look.

"I can't believe you just called your boyfriend 'gayface'" Katie murmured, containing a chuckle. "I think I'd kill you for something like that – just so you know" she warned Sebastian, playfully.

"But he loves it!" Sebastian protested.

Kurt eyed him intensely. The cold, bitchy looks Sebastian could just melt for. "Floor – it's final" he said, then added, nervously: "Sorry for that, guys – he just needs his little show-offs."

Sebastian laughed and accompanied Kurt to the entrance, where he observed the boy putting on his coat with a dignified expression.

Sebastian chuckled and approached him slowly, leaving his hands on his sides. "Floor, then?" He asked the boy, rubbing his sides softly and casting Kurt a harmless smile.

Kurt shook off his hands and opened the door. "Don't."

_Crap_. So Kurt was actually mad. And his cold looks had actually been out of anger. Sebastian damned himself. He should know by now that as much as he might enjoy Kurt's bitchy looks, those always meant the boy was actually upset. But he never seemed to remember – the tickle on his crotch was too distracting when he witnessed those looks.

He didn't feel any tickle now, though. He felt scared, because Kurt was walking silently towards the elevator, his back turn on Sebastian.

"You're being a true _sweetheart_ today" Kurt finally said with a bitter tone, after a few seconds of unbearable silence. "And only because I don't want to call you 'asshole' anymore."

Sebastian sighed. "Seriously? Can't we go through a whole day without the drama?"

Kurt eyed him hurt. "Oh, _I'm sorry_ – would you prefer me to be a submissive and complacent _sucker_ like Jeremy? So you can have only the fun parts?" He asked, his tone getting sharper any second while his cheeks blushed with the tension.

Sebastian kept silence after that. He felt annoyed too. The whole day he had felt annoyed, but he had hoped they could put it behind them.

"No, I'm clearly the sucker one here. Tell me, Kurt, what did I do this time? Because I just can't keep track with you" Sebastian said, tiredly.

Kurt bit the inside of his mouth with true contentment, and got off the elevator as soon as he could. He didn't storm out the building this time, thankfully. He waited for Sebastian outside.

"I want a drink" Kurt told him, as soon as he was out too. His arms were folded, and his expression was cold.

Sebastian regarded him surprised. If this was their first real fight, even though they had fought ever since they first met each other, it was definitely not as bad as he had imagined. He could use a drink too.

"Sure" he said, then gave the street a look. "There's a really cool bar around the corner, come on" he started walking.

They entered a really cheap and tacky bar quite crowded. Regardless that, the music wasn't so loud, so they could actually hear each other talk.

"I'll have a Margarita – thank you" Kurt told the bartender and gave him 10 bucks, ignoring Sebastian, who had just got out his wallet.

The bartender left and Sebastian didn't get to order his drink. He eyed Kurt with annoyance.

"Scotch" he told another bartender when he got the chance. Kurt was already half-way his drink.

Drink finally in hand, Sebastian raised it and tried to toast with Kurt, but the boy simply stared at him, thoughtfully.

"I don't really know why I apologised earlier – you were the jerk this morning" Kurt said, unaffected.

Sebastian couldn't help but chuckle. "I didn't even react, for Christ's sake."

Kurt clicked his tongue, disagreeing. "You did. You acted coldly and detached. I even had to ask you for a kiss."

Sebastian pondered it, taking a long sip. "What do you want me to say? I'm not sorry" he shrugged.

"Well – neither am I" Kurt casted him a sarcastic smile. "It's ironic, though – that you don't know what to say. You certainly have no problem to find the words when it comes to bragging and making inappropriate comments about us in front of your friends." He emptied down his drink and called the bartender again.

"Do you intend to get hammered? Will I have to babysit you tonight?" Sebastian asked, consciously harsh. It felt nice, though. Fresh. They had been too nice to each other lately.

"Ha. I intend to be able to stand you tonight" Kurt bit back, with a forced, bitchy smile.

Sebastian felt twistedly pleased. He might love his true, close and sweet Kurt, but he also enjoyed his bitchy version. He was gloating at that thought when he realised Kurt had ordered a few shots of Tequila.

Most to his surprise, Kurt handled him one over, though unkindly. Sebastian observed the shot, confused.

Kurt salted his neck and eyed him impatiently. "You're gonna help me or what?" He asked, irritated.

Sebastian smirked, discreetly – because he knew Kurt didn't want him to enjoy his presence right now. Well, he wasn't exactly certain what Kurt wanted from him right now, to be honest. Kurt was acting quite randomly. It looked like the boy was channelling all his anger through alcohol not to get the hell out of there, and away from Sebastian, and yet he couldn't be without him.

Sebastian got up and salted his neck; then, after a few seconds of an unspoken, murderous stare duel with Kurt, he threw his head backwards, offering his neck.

Kurt scoffed, annoyed-like, but grabbed him by the shoulders and licked his neck.

As soon as he was done, he let go of Sebastian and drank his shot. Sebastian regarded the slice of lemon, which Kurt was holding between his fingers and observing with unwillingness.

Sebastian took if from his hands and brought it to Kurt's lips, with his own hand. Offering it with his own lips felt like too much too soon.

Kurt bit it while Sebastian held it for him. He lifted his eyes to lock 'em with Sebastian's again. Sebastian noticed his eyes looked tired again, but this time he didn't know if it was only from work. Maybe the tiredness from their situation had added to the tiredness derived from work. He felt somewhat guilty.

"I bought you one" Kurt reminded him, his tone calmer this time, and Sebastian realised he had spaced out.

He grabbed the shot and contemplated the boy in front of him. Kurt had already salted his neck for Sebastian, but didn't look too enthusiastic. He didn't look annoyed either. He looked conflicted.

Sebastian cupped his cheek and they looked at each other, in silence. His thumb suddenly started caressing that soft cheek, and Kurt closed his eyes momentarily. Sebastian followed his instinct and kissed the spot, gently. Then, before Kurt could react, he lowered down his lips and licked his neck.

He let go of Kurt and took the shot. Kurt offered him the lemon with his hand then, just as Sebastian had done before. Sebastian gave him a small smile and grabbed his hand to bring it closer to his lips. He bit the lemon slowly, never letting go of Kurt's eyes.

Kurt's pupils tickled softly, and his expression relaxed. When he was finished with the lemon, Sebastian thought he should pull his hand away, but Kurt grabbed it and held it in his own.

Sebastian brought his stool closer to Kurt and sat down. They held hands in silence for a while.

"I didn't know I was making you uncomfortable back there... I'm sorry" Sebastian said sincerely.

Kurt puckered his lips, meditating. "John made me uncomfortable. You annoyed me" he admitted, smiling with irony. "You've got a sense of privacy I can't fully understand."

Sebastian frowned. "What is that supposed to mean?" He asked, slightly irritated.

Kurt looked at him. "The intimate stuff you choose to share. You can gladly talk about me, my hips, and my gay face in front of everyone, but you can't talk to me about what the hell is going on with you and your family" Kurt ranted, more frustrated than annoyed now. He casted him a sad smile. "I just don't get it."

Sebastian sighed, his brain feeling really thick right then. Suddenly, he couldn't quite remember why or when he had started telling Kurt stuff about his family, and what a conflict it supposed for him. He felt actually scared, all of a sudden, because that was the stuff he just didn't share.

It was more complicated than not getting along with some members of your family. Anyone could handle that. But the conflict had settled down on his guts by now. He just felt lost. Disoriented. He hated his degree. He felt like a slacker. He had no clue what to do with his life. He felt like a failure.

So seriously, how could you explain all that to anyone? Who would want to hear so much negativity? Sebastian hated bad vibes. And Kurt… Kurt was full of good ones.

"So… is it too much for you already?" Kurt asked, tentative, after a few minutes of silence. "The drama" he explained.

Sebastian mentally thanked him the change of subject, but felt a sting of guilt for that. "Of course not" he hurried to say, squeezing Kurt's hand. "I didn't mean that" he added, even though he wasn't so sure what had brought him to say that earlier.

Kurt bit his lip, with a dubious expression. "We do discuss a lot" he conceded.

Sebastian's stomach twisted funnily. He winced. "We don't-t, Kurt – come on" he scoffed, surprised even.

"It's not a bad thing" Kurt argued, observing the bottle of Tequila distractedly. "It means we care, I guess" he offered, with a small smile. "But I get that it can be tiring when it happens every day."

Sebastian sifted on the chair, nervously. He hadn't wanted to talk today. Why couldn't they not talk for one day? Couldn't they just kiss and make up? Did it always have to be like this?

Kurt sighed. "I'm just- I'm scared you might get tired of me too in the process" the boy admitted, looking down.

Sebastian's inner, _childish_ monologue shut off then completely. He grabbed Kurt's arms.

"Hey – what are you saying?" He rubbed Kurt's arms, trying to comfort him. "I could never do that, idiot" he moved his hands higher and wrapped himself around Kurt's torso on a hug. Kurt hugged him back willingly. "You silly gayface – how could you even think that?" Sebastian wondered, kissing his cheek.

Sebastian felt Kurt's breath on his neck, warm and intimate, and had to contain himself from trembling. Kurt felt literally like home, like a sense of balance Sebastian had never experienced before. That was why he didn't think they discussed that much. To him, their relationship and what he felt about Kurt were the only constants he fully experienced on a daily basis.

Kurt kissed his shoulder, then rested his cheek there. "Sometimes I feel like I've got to bug you to get you to talk to me" he explained, quietly.

Sebastian knew there was some truth to that, even if he didn't want to admit it. "Kurt – I talk to you" he said instead. "I just- sometimes I need more time, you know?" Sebastian struggled.

"Okay" Kurt nodded. "Sorry" he dug up his head, and smiled _cutely _at him – there was no other way to describe it, much to Sebastian's displeasure at the word _cute_.

Sebastian returned the smile and cupped Kurt's face, taking in his harmless expression. "You do well to push me" Sebastian admitted. "To talk, to do my stuff… Thank you" he said, brushing his nose against Kurt's.

Kurt came forwards and captured Sebastian's higher lip with his own, in a loose brush. "I love you" he murmured against Sebastian's lips, then kissed him again more firmly.

Sebastian held Kurt's back with as much care as he could manage to put into his hands and kissed Kurt with everything he had. He felt so grateful to hear that it was almost unreal.

"I love you too, Kurt" he whispered, breaking the kiss and simply resting his temples against Kurt's, taking comfort on his warm proximity. "We're gonna have the best week-end ever, okay?" He promised, trying to sound convincing, but right then he didn't know who he was trying to convince.

And also, he didn't know what he was trying to convince Kurt or himself of. Was it about the weekend, really? Or was it about how everything was okay with him? He felt okay, though. So why wouldn't everything be okay with him? That was not lying.

_Well_. It wasn't lying to Kurt. It was lying to himself, and that was _okay_, Sebastian thought. He just hoped that wouldn't make him unworthy of Kurt's comforting hug right now.


	6. Chapter 6

Hi guys! As usual, thanks for reading :) and reviewing, those of you who do it!

This is a short chapter, but I'm not sure when I'll be able to write again (Christmas, full house, family... etc!), so take this fluffy chapter as an early Christmas gift :)

P.s. I don't own Glee!

* * *

><p>Sebastian definitely planned on sticking to his resolution: they would have the best week-end ever, because why shouldn't they? Granted – it was still Thursday. But the week had been <em>so <em>freaking long…

They got to Kurt's half an hour later and found the apartment empty, much to their comfort, because that meant they were allowed to be noisy until Sam got back.

Sebastian captured Kurt's waist with his hands as soon as the boy dropped his satchel on the floor. He held Kurt from behind and brushed his nose all over that pale neck.

Kurt relaxed under his touch, bringing his hands slowly to rest over Sebastian's. "I missed this" Kurt whispered, resting his head on Sebastian's shoulder to give him better access to his neck.

"Me too" Sebastian agreed, bringing his lips out to play. He nibbled at Kurt's skin thoroughly, without rush, enjoying every second of it. "You're feeling better now?" He asked, reaching Kurt's earlobe.

Kurt hummed, nothing but pleased. "So much better" he conceded, his tone getting a little affected. He lifted his head momentarily to kiss Sebastian's cheek. "Handsome" he murmured and tried to stroke Sebastian's hair from behind, missing.

Sebastian turned him around then, crashing their mouths together. It felt intense, and it wasn't just a result of the arousal. It was different. Consuming, even.

"You were right," Sebastian admitted between kisses, "your make up kisses are something else" he joked, thrusting his hand under the fabric of Kurt's trousers and caressing his butt over the briefs.

"Great" Kurt chuckled. "'Cause I was totally bluffing" he confessed.

Sebastian slapped his butt, playfully, then directed themselves slowly to Kurt's bedroom. Surprisingly, Kurt took charge as soon as they were in bed and placed himself on top of Sebastian, quite determined.

The boy thrust his hands under Sebastian's shirt and stroked firmly his sides while devouring his mouth without mercy. Sebastian got that feeling again of intensity, and it made him shiver.

It felt like a consuming sting of heat was piercing right through his chest and mouth, at the same time. The second source was easy to track: Kurt's kisses, but the first one… It was a sensation he had been feeling for a few weeks now, and it didn't cease to shake him, since he hadn't felt it ever before.

He had to part his lips away, overwhelmed, and close to panting. Kurt's nose definitely worked better than his.

Kurt stroked Sebastian's chest then, soothingly, and kissed his cheek. "I could never get tired of kissing you" he whispered, then gave him a small, fond smile. "Or touching you" he added, stroking a little higher. "I feel like I was born to feel this body – isn't that crazy?" He giggled, observing Sebastian with a cheeky expression.

Sebastian was still having some troubles with his breathing, though. Kurt moved his hands from Sebastian's torso to Sebastian's arms. "Sorry – am I oppressing your lungs?" He asked, a little concerned, and retrieved himself from Sebastian to lay beside him instead.

Sebastian shook his head, regretful. "Nothing like that" he assured Kurt, and grabbed Kurt's torso to place the boy once again on top of himself, gaining a cheery giggle from Kurt. "And even if you were – my lungs can suck it" he joked, then felt the back of Kurt's thighs with his fingertips.

The boy was wearing some impossibly tighter jeans, so Sebastian could almost feel Kurt's skin, pressed against the fabric and against his hands.

Kurt covered Sebastian's neck with mouth-closed kisses while he started unbuttoning his shirt. For every inch of skin Kurt let uncovered, Sebastian received a kiss to keep the skin warm. He smiled, enjoying his reward after a long day.

Kurt finished with the last button and went up again, resting his chin on Sebastian's chest and observing him with a warm expression. Sebastian observed him too. The boy looked quite radiant, eager to do more… but also happy to just stay there, quietly contemplating Sebastian.

Sebastian couldn't help but chuckle, and brought a hand to comb Kurt's hair. "What are you doing there?" He asked, curious.

Kurt grinned. "I'm observing my very handsome boyfriend" he explained.

Sebastian came quickly forwards and bit his nose. "You silly gayface" he whispered, his insides going numb, though.

Kurt rubbed his nose against Sebastian's chest, to relieve the pain. "The things I let you do" he complained, then bit Sebastian's skin in revenge.

Sebastian groaned. It was hard to say if that'd hurt, or stimulated him. "Let's keep the bites at bay for now" he suggested, caressing Kurt's cheek.

"I thought you liked bites" Kurt smirked. "You once asked me, on that very couch in the living room, to bite your neck" he recalled, with a playful tone.

Sebastian smiled at the memory. "You actually bit me in the head first."

Kurt blushed a little. "So you remember" he chuckled.

"Of course I do" Sebastian told him, a little surprised that Kurt would doubt it.

Kurt nodded, containing a fond smile. "That's nice" he admitted, coming forwards to steal a peck from Sebastian's lips.

Sebastian smiled, surprised. "Did you think I didn't?" He couldn't help but ask.

"Oh, no- I mean…" Kurt mumbled, nervously. Then bit down his lip. "I'm an idiot – ever since you told me you didn't remember any of your coffees and talks with Blaine, I've been a little worried you wouldn't remember mines either" he admitted, scratching his nape. "Not my finest thought, right?" He offered Sebastian an apologetic smile.

Sebastian didn't like that, but… he doubted it would help saying so. Besides, Kurt looked regretful already. "You've got such a sharp tone, Kurt. I couldn't forget anything you say even if I wanted to" he joked instead, stroking Kurt's shoulders so his cheerful mood wouldn't decline. "Don't worry about it" he conceded, then kissed him on the lips.

Kurt's lips felt welcoming and soft. Unfortunately, the boy broke the kiss quickly and regarded Sebastian somewhat expectant. "Bas, I- I know you don't wanna talk about this morning, but I just need to say something" he said, smoothing Sebastian's shirt nervously. "It's just that- you're so good to me, that I can't help but being good to you in return" he explained, a little insecure.

Sebastian had decided not to interrupt him, even if Kurt was right and he did not want to talk about that morning. But it seemed like Kurt was stuck, all of a sudden. "That's not a crime" Sebastian observed, giving him a small, encouraging smile.

Kurt breathed out, relieved. "I just want you to be happy, Sebastian" Kurt whispered, kindly, and Sebastian's stomach made a mortal twist. "That's why I overstepped this morning. I just wanted to help – that's all" Kurt nodded, as if he needed to make sure that Sebastian knew he hadn't intended to bother him.

"Kurt… don't you think I know that?" Sebastian told him, a little surprised and moved at the same time. _Do I? _He wondered. It was weird – because he did know it at a theoretical level, but maybe not at a practical one. "You don't need to explain me that you mean well – I know you do."

"But I want to" Kurt protested, though his tone was quite harmless. "I don't want you to just _guess_ or _imagine_ those things" Kurt smiled, coyly. "I want you to _know_ 'em for certain because I tell you, you know?" He continued, more regained.

Sebastian felt at a loss for words after that. Kurt's words echoed in his head, like a powerful certainty.

"You matter, Bas" Kurt stated, half-shrugging, like that was the most obvious statement in the world, half-timidly, because it was not that obvious. "I want you to have somewhere to go that it feels like home to you. You- you deserve to have somewhere like that. Somewhere you can come from class, and feel comforted. Somewhere you feel comfortable enough to stay all day in your pyjamas, and do nothing but enjoy yourself…" Kurt ranted, his eyes irradiating such confidence it was contagious. It was pretty obvious that Kurt felt like that on his own apartment. The crazy thing was… Sebastian had felt like that lately. Not somewhere, but with someone. With the generous blue-eyed boy he had in front of him.

"That- that sounds really lovely, Kurt" Sebastian agreed, running his thumb carefully along Kurt's neck to thank him – if that made any sense. "Thank you," he said anyway, a little incredulous, "for treasuring such kind wishes for me" he admitted, amazed that someone could care so much about his feelings.

Sebastian realised then he had been wrong about what being loved meant. He thought when people said you should care about your partner's feelings, they meant _romantic_ feelings. But Kurt had just taught him it was way more general than that. The boy even cared about the way Sebastian felt when he came home from class. How crazily particular was that? And how come Kurt was able to notice such subtleties?

Kurt casted him a timid smile. "For you I treasure only the best" he breathed against Sebastian's skin, kissing his cheek. "The happiest thoughts" he added, with a lower tone.

"I feel so lucky right now" Sebastian heard himself say out loud, almost unconsciously. He wrapped his arms a little tighter around Kurt's back, bringing him closer. "So lucky…" he repeated, kissing him properly.

Kurt smiled in the kiss and responded willingly. And how _amazing_ Kurt's comforting body felt around him... There were simply no words to describe it, especially after a day like they'd just had.

Sebastian thought it was about time Kurt lost his clothes, but first, he would help heat things up a little.

"Want me to make you feel lucky too?" Sebastian whispered on his ear while his hand slipped down Kurt's torso to touch his crotch. He stroked it on gentle rubs, over the fabric, feeling himself aroused by how unsteady Kurt's breathing had become.

"Ye-yeah" Kurt agreed, shivering, though it didn't stop him from moving his body to contribute to the friction.

Sebastian slipped both his hands under Kurt's briefs then, with no little difficulty. Kurt noticed and unbuttoned his trousers, casting him an apologetic smile. Sebastian shushed him with a bite on the lip.

That wasn't something Kurt needed to apologise for. His ridiculously tight trousers were a little difficult at foreplays, but… the way they fitted Kurt's butt – it was totally worth it. It didn't take Sebastian long to try and pull them all the way down, though.

"Let me help" Kurt sat down, to get rid of the trousers completely.

Sebastian sat down too, suddenly feeling a little cold lying down there on his own. He wrapped his arms around Kurt's torso, holding him from behind. "Don't you dare go anywhere" he whispered, stroking Kurt's chest.

Kurt chuckled quietly. "I wasn't planning on it" the boy breathed out, lingering in Sebastian's touch.

"_Good_ – because _I am_ planning something really nice for you" Sebastian teased, his hands starting to unbutton Kurt's shirt. "I want you to have the fun parts too" he closed his lips around Kurt's cheek, hoping Kurt would get the reference to their previous argument in the elevator.

Kurt closed his eyes, calmed. "I know, meerkat" he smiled. "It's so fresh knowing someone like you."

"Yeah?" Sebastian asked – an idiotically proud grin graced his lips. "What do you mean, babe?"

Sebastian got rid of Kurt's shirt then, and he was about to throw it to the floor when he thankfully remembered just in time that it was Kurt's and the boy appreciated his clothes dearly, so he folded it and left it on the nightstand.

Kurt's eyes followed his movements with attention. "You're so sweet" Kurt murmured, then threw himself at Sebastian impulsively, kissing him with urgency again.

_Well_, Sebastian could take being called 'sweet' if _this_ was how he would be thanked. _Yeah_, being 'sweet' wasn't the worst; not really.

"_Mmh_, I meant you're unique, Sebastian" Kurt mumbled between kisses, getting rid of Sebastian's trousers _freaking _quickly. "There are all these different sides to you" he kissed Sebastian's shoulder, taking his shirt off now. "I meant you're wild, you're intense" Kurt kept kissing his neck, "but then… then you're so thoughtful, so caring… It's crazy- it's driving _me _crazy" he chuckled, incredulously.

Sebastian could tell. The way Kurt was undressing him… _Damn_, it seemed like the boy was feeling somewhat frenetic indeed. In a good way, though.

Soon enough, they were both completely naked, staring at each other expectantly. Kurt was panting, but he looked calmer now.

"I'm not sure I've always been like that" Sebastian commented, feeling weirdly vulnerable while admitting so. "With you- it feels just natural" he tried to explain, but he wasn't sure what his point was. "You bring out some good stuff in me, I guess" he smirked coyly, running a hand along Kurt's naked, flustered torso. "Not _guess_" he rectified, because how stupidly evasive was that? "I _know_ you do."

Kurt's eyes looked impossibly fonder. _Filled with illusion… like a love fool's_, Sebastian thought, as he started to feel ridiculously self-aware.

Sometimes it seemed like they could read right through each other, because Kurt's next words eased Sebastian's tension. "Well, why don't you bring out your wild side now?" Kurt suggested, with a kind, encouraging smile. "'Cause I want you to do me whatever you had in mind" he whispered, giving him a wet peck on his jaw.

"Yeah?" Sebastian asked rhetorically, coming closer too. He put his hands around Kurt's thighs, grabbing them somewhat tightly to crash Kurt's crotch against his own. "You're sure you'll be able to take it?" He teased, devouring Kurt's flustered skin with his eyes.

Kurt smiled, biting his lips. "I think I can handle you by now" the boy bit back, running an adventurous hand all the way down Sebastian's spine until reaching his ass, which he caressed and squeezed gently.

Sebastian breathed out, surprised by Kurt's brave advances. "I wanna tie you up." He stared right at Kurt and witnessed his pupils tickling. "And bandage your eyes" he continued, his tone getting a little fierce, inevitably. He had been dreaming of doing that for months now.

Just like that, Kurt's cockiness was gone. The boy regarded Sebastian half-disconcerted, half-attracted by the idea. His voice was somewhat affected when he spoke. "H-how?" He stuttered and cleared his throat, regaining himself. "How would that work, exactly?" He reformulated, looking down nervously.

Sebastian smirked. Kurt hadn't said 'no', and that was all he needed to carry on. "I tie your hands to the head bed," he started to describe, consciously pulling off the smoothest, velvet voice he could, "and cover your eyes with one of those scarfs you like to wear so much..." He caressed Kurt's neck, imagining it covered with one of those. "And the rest will be more fun if I show it to you, instead of telling" he casted Kurt a suggestive, side smile.

Kurt's expression got quite serious, his eyes slightly wider while he took that information in. Sebastian couldn't really tell whether the boy was on board. It looked like he was studying the idea, and it was never too good when Kurt started overthinking things.

"Needless to say," Sebastian added, planting a long, soothing kiss on Kurt's neck, "my goal here is to worship your body – so you really have nothing to worry about."

Kurt's lips relaxed then, a knowing smile gracing 'em. "That sounds really tempting, then" he conceded, giving him a timid, yet daring look. "Your provocative tone totally misguided me" he admitted, his thumb and index finger slowly reviving and tracing Sebastian's spine. "The idea of not being able to touch you, though..." He murmured, then bit his lower lip, affected.

"It'll create a tension, a residual and increasing energy all over your body that will have no option but to gather all around your crotch..." Sebastian explained, his hand tracing Kurt's lines, then lowering down to illustrate the idea by stroking Kurt's crotch. Kurt moaned lowly. "... Coming out in a big, deep, body-wrecking orgasm" Sebastian finished, his fingers closing around Kurt's cock, teasingly.

Kurt breathed out, agitated. "Dear Lord..." he murmured, affected, then locked eyes with Sebastian. Sebastian noticed his pupils had gone wide as he had never seen it before. "You have some experience with this, don't you?"

It wasn't until Kurt asked him that question that Sebastian realized the boy looked somewhat vulnerable. He bit the inside of his mouth. _Of course_ he had some experience with that. Did it matter, though?

He shook the stupidly defensive thought away. Kurt was just asking, after all. It didn't mean that the boy cared. _Did it?_

Sebastian felt somewhat awkward holding Kurt's cock then, so he retrieved his hand and rested it on Kurt's side instead. He caressed it. "I do. I've never done it to someone that I loved, though."

He searched for Kurt's eyes and looked at him, feeling expectant. He didn't want Kurt to feel like any of the other boys he had practiced this with before. Like some dirty, naughty fuck. Sebastian wanted to be dirty, though. And naughty. But with Kurt.

Kurt regarded him with attention, not reluctance, Sebastian noticed. His expression had softened.

"It only means I know how to do it right, and get both of us to enjoy" Sebastian explained, feeling strangely self-aware, having to excuse himself like that, when Kurt hadn't really asked for it.

Kurt brought both of his hands to stroke Sebastian's back, all of a sudden. "You know how amazing it is to have such an experienced boyfriend like you?" He told Sebastian with a small smile. His tone was _freaking_ smooth, and Sebastian had to contain himself not to tremble under Kurt's hands. "It was silly of me to ask you that" he admitted, coyly. "Just know that-" he paused, his nose inflating in a really _memorable_ way to gather some more oxygen, "you can pretty much do whatever you want with me" he chuckled, nervously. "But it's good to know that I'm not so obvious – since you asked me first and all" he smiled, kindly.

"_Well_, sometimes your cheeks do give you away, but-" Sebastian smiled back, coming closer to kiss those, "I'm a clueless _fool_, so… you're safe" he joked. If any of them was a _love fool_, that was him – not Kurt.

Kurt giggled quietly, after what they fell in a thick silence full of self-awareness, Sebastian's proposition still floating in the air.

Kurt came closer and hid his head on the crook of Sebastian's neck. Sebastian held him, his insides going crazily happy, and enjoyed the light tickle of Kurt's eyelashes on his neck.

"So…" Kurt whispered, his head still hidden, "how should we get started?" He looked up then and casted Sebastian a small smile.

Sebastian cupped his cheeks. "Maybe… we could kiss a little?" He suggested. _And seriously_, as much as he loved the idea of tidying up Kurt like a sex-toy, the mere prospect of kissing him was exciting enough right then.

Kurt nodded, all smiley, and gave him a little peck on the lips. Sebastian returned it, several times, and not necessarily on the lips, until he got Kurt laying on his back, over the mattress.

_And yeah_, maybe he was feeling a little possessive today. But Sebastian thought he was always possessive in bed. He was allowed to, _wasn't he?_ Kurt was responding quite enthusiast, so Sebastian guessed they were in sync so far.

"_Mmh_, I don't have a bandage-" Kurt mumbled against Sebastian's temples, "bu-but I do have lots of scarfs" he joked, "_oh God"_ he moaned then, right when Sebastian bit his right nipple.

Sebastian's chest got really tickly – he dug up his head, excited, and observed Kurt. "Where do you keep 'em?" He asked, not losing another second.

Kurt grinned, like a cheeky, naughty kid, and Sebastian's cock got even harder. The boy got up and grabbed a basket, emptying down its content on the floor. He grabbed two scarfs and left the mess untidy.

Sebastian smirked. Kurt had to feel really eager if he left his stuff like that, all over the floor. Indeed – Kurt jumped into bed real quickly and went back to his lying position, obediently. The two scarfs were hanging from Sebastian's neck then.

Sebastian shook his head, amused, and the two scarfs fell over Kurt's belly. He took one with his hands. _Damn_ – it was too soft. What if it ended broken or something?

"Maybe we should use something more… resistant" He commented, but Kurt waved his hand at him almost immediately.

"Sebastian – listen to me" Kurt cut him, kind of serious, "we need to do this before I change my mind" he breathed out, agitated. "And my scarfs are so soft that it won't hurt my wrists – so it's perfect, really" Kurt captured his neck with the other scarf and brought him closer to give him a generous peck. "Now, tie me up – I'm nervous enough as it is" he chuckled, nervous indeed.

"Are those the good kind of nerves, babe?" Sebastian couldn't help but ask. He appreciated his gayface more than that to make him suffer. Kurt nodded, almost immediately, which didn't exactly ease Sebastian's mind. "Okay… let's take things slow, shall we?"

Sebastian sat up on his lap and regarded him like an object of study. It didn't take him more than five seconds to decide which part he would tie first. He _needed_ to enjoy those eyes a little longer, so 'hands' would be.

He took Kurt's left hand and brought to his lips to kiss it, even mouthing it a little when he noticed Kurt sifting a little under him, needy. Sebastian grabbed the right hand and did the same, using some more tongue this time on the fingers – especially on the thumbs, which gained him a heavy breath from Kurt. He brought both hands up then and tied them with the scarf to the head bed – thankfully, it was a long scarf.

He ran both his hand freely around Kurt's torso then, the anticipation killing him. But he had promised Kurt they would go slow, and _those eyes_… _Damn_. Kurt was eyeing him so expectantly and vulnerable that it was just too much.

Sebastian ordered his hands to rub more gently, to caress more and stroke less, and to feel rather than scratch. He had to make Kurt feel comfortable enough, or they wouldn't do this again.

Once Sebastian thought he had his own hands under control, he brought his lips to Kurt's cheek. He commanded his lips to be tender like his life depended on it, and it had to work, because next thing he knew Kurt was kissing him back, searching for his mouth.

Sebastian caressed his cheeks then, and looked him in the eye. "You're the most exciting thing I've ever seen" he whispered, gaining himself a small smile from Kurt, which he returned briefly enough to brush lips against those pinky, soft lips of Kurt. _Fuck_. A kiss would never taste the same after Kurt's lips – Sebastian could feel it on his bones.

"Bas…" Kurt mumbled. "I want you so badly that some nights, this summer, I- I just couldn't sleep" Kurt giggled, his tone half-nervous, half-incredulous. "Sometimes I can't even focus at work, it's- it's… _God_" he breathed out, almost like he was having a revelation.

Sebastian giggled too. The most _idiotic_ and _sappy _giggle he had ever heard. "Okay – that's enough" Sebastian chuckled, patting Kurt's arms. "I don't wanna hear myself giggle like that anymore." He pointed a finger at Kurt, threatening him: "I'm gonna fuck the crap out of you."

Kurt nodded, his lips puckering with amusement. "Go Sebastian. You can do it" Kurt encouraged him mockingly, containing a chuckle.

"Don't you dare laugh at me, Hummel" Sebastian slapped his chest, somewhat more strongly than they used to. Kurt complained with a resented, painful gesture. "Behave" Sebastian commanded, grabbing Kurt's balls then, which made Kurt startle. Sebastian squeezed 'em. "You're gonna behave now?" He murmured, suggestively.

Kurt closed his eyes, his expression getting really affected. "Yeah" he breathed out, nervously.

"Good" Sebastian smirked, please. He let go of Kurt's delicate skin and decided to go gentler after that, as planned. And maybe just a little rough from time to time. To keep things balanced and interesting.

He grabbed the other scarf and folded it, then showed it to Kurt, who lifted his head a little to help. Sebastian rested it over his eyes carefully, holding Kurt's head as kindly as he could.

"Is it too tight?" He asked, once he had tied it. "I don't really care if you can see a bit – but I don't wanna it to hurt you" he slipped his fingers under it, checking the tightness.

Kurt's lips tickle, smiling slightly. "It's all right, meerkat. I'm all set" he nodded, promisingly.

Sebastian kissed Kurt's lips then, still holding his head with care. Kurt kissed back sweetly at first, almost like he was tasting Sebastian's lips for the first time. His tongue slipped tentatively between his lips, teasing Sebastian's lower lip. Sebastian parted his lips and let Kurt in. Almost unconsciously, his hips started moving and his crotch started rubbing itself against Kurt's. He lowered down his hand and massaged Kurt's balls – much more gently this time.

Kurt moaned in his mouth, and tried to break the kiss, but Sebastian didn't let him. He crashed his mouth mercilessly against Kurt again and again, no matter how much Kurt's lips begged to part away or bit his own in revenge.

Kurt's little revenges for the lack of movement were the best part of it. His hips shook constantly, almost desperately, and his moans were getting deeper every second. Sebastian finally took pity on him and left his lips, just to suck Kurt's nose and left it all swollen and bitten. Kurt tried to bite back, but Sebastian minded his neck then, and Kurt became a bunch of endless moans.

With his hands, Sebastian stroked and felt every inch of Kurt's body, as much as he kissed it, and waited patiently for Kurt's rubs against him to become almost violent to thrust inside him, without even stretching his entrance first.

From Kurt's mouth escaped a loud, deep and strong moan that made Sebastian tremble. He grabbed Kurt's legs and wrapped 'em around his torso, reaching deeper and further to gain more sharp sounds from Kurt, who had become completely ineloquent.

For a while, it looked like Kurt was really close to come at any moment, but Sebastian waited until he felt _that_ really particular tickle on his crotch that announced his own orgasm to slide himself out of Kurt and greet Kurt's cock with his mouth instead.

The result was better than he had imagined: Kurt's cum spread all over his neck, warm and victorious. Sebastian observed Kurt, mesmerized. He had quite profaned that normally immaculate body. What it used to be a white, marble surface was now red, swollen and _alive_ skin, begging to be calmed and nurtured with kindness.

"You-you came too?" Kurt panted, moving his head one side to the other looking for Sebastian's sound.

His eyes were still perfectly covered. His hands though… His hands were much looser, and Sebastian knew it was a matter of time before Kurt would get rid of the scarf and help Sebastian come too.

"You can keep going" Kurt breathed out, struggling with the scarf and the head bed. "Or I can help you, or suck you- whatev-"

Sebastian covered Kurt's mouth with one hand then, making Kurt freeze his movements. He shushed the boy and freed one of his hands, kissed it and rested it on his cock, needy. "Finish it for me, _please_" he begged Kurt, hiding his head on Kurt's neck and sucking it again, the movements of his hips impossibly wider now.

Not long after that, Sebastian came on Kurt's hand, panting heavily against his skin. Kurt had freed his other hand by then, and wrapped his arms around his back on a warm hug.

Sebastian didn't even know who he was for a few seconds, feeling as if he had just had a taste of heaven. When he opened his eyes, he was presented with Kurt's lips curled on a soft, effortless smile, the scarf over his eyes a little shaken but still on, obediently. Sebastian smirked, twistedly pleased, but untied it.

It took Kurt a few seconds to open his eyes.

"Hey" the boy said with the most dozed-off voice Sebastian had heard from him.

"Hey" Sebastian said back, observing him with amusement. He wondered if he had the same expression of amazement that he could read on Kurt.

"You think you could get us under the covers without having us move an inch? 'Cause that would be terrific" Kurt mumbled, giving a tired smile.

Sebastian chuckled, and held Kurt tightly with one arm, undoing the bed with the other. He had to move, of course, but tried to disturb Kurt's placid expression as little as possible.

"O-kay" Sebastian commented, resting Kurt's head on the pillows. "Done" he grinned.

Kurt casted him the sweetest smile he had ever seen. It was weird, because it wasn't sweet in a cheesy way, but in a grateful one. Like Sebastian had earned that smile somehow. And something told him it wasn't just about getting them under the covers.

"I loved that" Kurt admitted, brushing his nose against Sebastian's.

A ridiculous amount of jokes and playful comments ran through Sebastian's head on a blink. _Oh, I could tell. Of course you did. Best fuck you've ever had, right? _Among others. Sebastian didn't feel like being cynic now, though. And he didn't remember the last time he had consciously chosen not to mock himself or these intimate, defenceless moments he shared with Kurt.

"I'm glad you did" he said instead, stroking Kurt's hair.

Kurt closed his eyes, sleepy, and yawned. "Kiss you goodnight?" He asked, with a harmless smile.

Sebastian nodded and lifted his head, obliging, and Kurt gave him a not-so-quick goodnight kiss. The boy kissed him like he meant it, like this last kiss, even after all the kisses they had shared along the night, was just as important. Sebastian wondered if he wasn't starting to overthink too.

"Goodnight, love" Kurt broke it, and brought Sebastian a little closer in the hug. "Kiss you tomorrow."

Sebastian chuckled quietly. What kind of silly promise was that? His insides got noticeably warmer, though. "Deal" he said anyway.


	7. Chapter 7

Long chapter warning! lol

Hi everyone! It feels nice to be back with some more Kurtbastian :) I hope you all had a nice holiday! Mine was great but busy, so here it is finally another update! I hope I can update sooner next time, we'll see :)

P.s.: I don't own Glee!

P.s.2: I miss your Guest reviews guys! (it help me know if you're actually liking this or hating it! hopefully the first...!) Seriously though, I hope you're enjoying the fic. I feel like Sebastian is turning out to be darker than I expected, and there might be more drama than I normally feel able to endure while writing, but.. that's how things are working between them, and I think their relationship is growing and getting stronger :) lol sorry for the rant!

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><p>So that was what everyone talked about. Make up sex. <em>Damn<em>. Make up kisses. _Man_, Sebastian just wanted to be with Kurt. To breathe Kurt. To kiss Kurt. To lick him. Was he losing his mind?

It was weird, _unknown_, the way Kurt made Sebastian's head spin all day long without having the boy even around him. Sure, their weekends were always terrific, but the way their weeks seem to stretch and become unbearably long, that was something Sebastian was not used to feel.

Every day he spent without Kurt felt like torture. And it wasn't about having the boy's body pressed against his own, his kind words, or the tender way Kurt chose to smile at him. It was also about how Kurt affected his mood, his very own nature and temper.

When Kurt was around, Sebastian felt like he could be better. Do better. As simple as that. When Kurt wasn't though, he felt like the same old, selfish boy he had always been. It was almost like every comment and assumption people had always made about him became true. Mostly, because it had always felt easier for Sebastian to meet other people's expectations – those used to be so low when it came to him… That was why, in a way, Kurt pushed him to be better.

With that thought in mind, or just some suggestive image of Kurt in bed from the weekend, Sebastian was getting out of Chem class and doing his way to the cafeteria just when he saw him: his father, talking to a bunch of professor on the hall.

_Fuck_.

"Sebastian!" His father called him, waving a hand at him with a disinterested expression.

_Yeah, I'm happy to see you too,_ Sebastian thought bitterly and approached him, having no escape now.

"Dad" Sebastian acknowledged his presence with a nod. His father didn't make any attempt to greet him any more enthusiastically.

"How you've been, son?" The fifty-year old man asked, resting a hand on Sebastian's shoulder.

"Good" Sebastian said, honestly. He had been feeling spectacular up until half a minute ago. "How's mum?"

"She's at your aunt's, as usual" his father commented, unaffected. _That didn't really answer my question_, Sebastian frowned."Gentlemen, this is my son, Sebastian" his father introduced him, politely, but didn't add anything else.

Sebastian shook a couple of hands, bored to death. Thankfully his father didn't know any Medicine professors. That could've been awkward. But no, God forbid the very busy state attorney Hector Smythe wasted his time in knowing anyone who didn't make a career in Law or Politics.

Sebastian was quite certain his father was the most boring man he had ever known. Hector Smythe lived for his job, even though he wasn't exactly ambitious. At least not as ambitious as Sebastian's grandfather had wished. While Sebastian's grandfather had prospered enough to build a business imperium around himself, being one of the most notorious and respected brokers of the state of New York, Hector Smythe had been happy enough with pursuing his own career as an attorney.

Regardless that, everyone knew that as soon as the old Sebastian H. Smythe exhaled his last command, his son Hector would have no choice but to take over the business. The crank, old-man would not leave his imperium in the hands of a stranger, not when he had a son of his own.

Sebastian suspected that was the whole reason his grandfather had even bothered to get married and have a son. That was probably the whole reason Sebastian's father had had a son too.

So _really_, how could Sebastian escape such tyranny when he was also the only child of a Smythe? He would not only inherit a business he had no intention to learn how to handle, but he had also already inherited his grandfather's first name. _Yay_.

"I've got a reservation at Marty's" his father was commenting while they left the NYU facilities. _Oh_, so they were having lunch together. _Yikes_.

"Just the two of us" Sebastian meant to ask, but ended up stating – his wish to avoid his grandfather was that big. He loathed a lunch with his father, but not as much as he loathed a lunch with his grandfather. Not nearly as much.

His father nodded, thankfully. Sebastian sighed, relieved, and got in his father's town car, unwilling to object. He could handle this. He could. Or so he repeated himself.

/

"How's school?" His father asked after what it felt like the most awkward five minutes of Sebastian's life, waiting for the waiter to come back with the note. Apparently, they had ran out of topics within their comfort zone.

"It's good" Sebastian replied, almost automatically. Whenever one of Sebastian's relatives asked him how school was, he didn't even hesitate to answer _'good'_. It was almost like a reflex act. "How's work?" Sebastian asked back, mostly just so his father noticed what a boring question that was.

Indeed. Hector Smythe regarded him with scrutinising eyes. Maybe he wasn't as dumb as he looked like.

"Instructive" the man responded, taking a long sip from his drink. "Your grandfather considered convenient that I was incorporated to the company's bureau a couple of weeks ago."

Sebastian frowned. "You've been in New York for a couple of weeks?" He wondered out loud. "Mum too?" He couldn't care less if his father hadn't contacted him in two weeks, in fact, Sebastian almost felt like thanking him, but knowing that his mother had been in the city too… that was unsettling.

"No. Your mother's at your aunt's, I told you" Sebastian's father repeated, unaffectedly. His tone was so monotone that it made Sebastian want to jump on the table and start tapping with his feet as strong as he could.

"Right" Sebastian said, containing himself.

"Anyway, you're gonna join some club this year?" His father's eyes didn't lift from his plate, though his tone sounded slightly more interested this time.

"I don't know" Sebastian shrugged, "too soon to tell" he lied.

His father stared at him then. "Too soon?" He repeated, more annoyed than surprised to hear that. Sebastian nodded – he wouldn't let himself feel intimidated by his father, the least energised man there was.

Hector Smythe shook his head and looked down at his plate again. "I see" he mumbled to himself, clenching his jaw. "What about your grandfather? You reckon it's still too soon to go see him, now that it's been two months since you came back from France?"

The man was doing a poor job at hiding his anger, but Sebastian had to give him points for trying. His father had a way with subtle arguments. _Subtle_, because Sebastian knew that his father didn't have it in himself to feel anything slightly disturbing. The man was a robot, and he was only programmed to feel indifference. It wasn't his fault, really.

"You know? Ask me again come Christmas" Sebastian bit back sarcastically this time. _Enough with the charade_.

His father eyed him coldly, and by the way his pupils tickled Sebastian could tell he was doing a great effort not to lose his manners right now.

"Well, then – maybe it's also too soon for you to live on your own" the man stated, upset.

Sebastian had no choice but to chuckle. How ridiculous was that? Their first lunch in months and threats were coming already.

His father sighed, irritated. "Could you at least try and make it look like you care about anything in your life, Sebastian?" He scoffed. "I don't understand it, son. Is this an attitude you enjoy? Taking things for granted, being ungrateful to your family…?"

"Hey" Sebastian snapped, angry now. "Let's make something clear – I do care about a lot of things, just not about your father" he replied, eyeing his father back just as coldly.

Sebastian didn't really know at what point his relationship with his father had gone wrong. He guessed it had been somewhere between 'I'm gay' and 'I rather live with my grandparents in France', but _oh_, who knew, _really_.

"Really?" His father had the nerve to actually chuckle, like that was the most irreverent thing he had ever heard. "Go ahead. Tell me something you care about that's not your trust fund, son. Because other than that, I really don't think I can believe it."

"Oh, _right_" _The trust fund_. Sebastian snorted, incredulous. How come his own father could know him so little? He couldn't care less about the _fucking_ trust fund. But that was the image his father had always had of himself.

For a moment, though, Sebastian felt really tempted to spit on his face the name of Kurt, the name of his mother, the name of Edna, but somehow that felt even worse. For why should he have to defend himself? Shouldn't a father know better than to judge his own child like that?

"I'll tell you what" Sebastian cleaned up the rests of fish from his hands with the napkin and got up. "Finish up, no rush" he took out his wallet, "and let's let the trust fund take care of the meal. Business is business, right? And we've both made our part for the month, so…" Sebastian threw more than a few bills on the table, arrogantly, and made his way out of the restaurant.

The minute he stepped foot outside, he felt his own lungs reviving. Air filled his chest and New York's early cold wind brushed his face, healing any possible anxiety he might have just felt.

But he hadn't even felt anxious. Just hurt. That much he could admit to himself.

/

It really didn't help that he had another Theatre Club meeting that night at Kyle's and he had to deal now not only with Ezra's smug stares but also with Jim's timid ones.

Sebastian had decided not to bring Kurt to the scene this time. They had gone through a whole week with no drama at all, and he couldn't help but feel relieved.

"You seem distracted today" Katie told him, interrupting his train of thoughts. Sebastian looked around then and noticed that Katie and he were alone on the living room.

"Where is everyone?" He asked, confused. Katie casted him a knowing smile. Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Yes. I was distracted. Sue me" he bit back, maybe a little more aggressive than the situation called for.

Katie chuckled, surprised. "O-kay" she articulated, "I'll leave you to your thoughts."

The girl got up, and even though Sebastian appreciated the gesture, because he really wanted to be alone tonight (all the more so after the lovely lunch he had shared with his father), he found himself stopping her.

"Sorry" Sebastian mumbled, still feeling annoyed though. Katie locked eyes with him and he let go of her wrist. "I had a crappy day, okay?"

Katie nodded, taking in the information, and sat down beside Sebastian on the couch. "How come Kurt didn't come this time?"

Sebastian regarded her and felt somewhat thankful. The girl knew when to push, and when not to, and he appreciated the change of subject. Then he realised he didn't know exactly how to answer that either.

"I didn't tell him" he shrugged, wondering why. "He's working, anyway."

"Did we… shoo him?" The girl asked, containing a snort. "I wouldn't be surprised, to be honest. John was a total jerk to him."

Sebastian scratched his neck. "Kurt's used to deal with lots of jerks – John's harmless. I, on the other hand…" Sebastian sighed, tiredly. _For Christ's sake_, he just wasn't used to have a boyfriend. "I guess I didn't calibre the situation."

"Well… you were inappropriate sometimes, I guess, but other than that…" Katie regarded him, pondering the issue. "I don't think you were worse than usual" she joked.

Sebastian shot her a sarcastic smile. _Thanks, sweetheart_, he thought. A realisation hit him then. He rested his head on the couch.

"I don't know. I don't think I'm that awful when I'm with him" Sebastian wondered out loud.

"Seb, I was joking" Katie hurried to assure him. "You're not awful."

Sebastian shrugged, in an 'I get it' kind of way. "You know what I mean" he conceded. "He's actually seen me at my worst, though" Sebastian recalled. "That's why I don't get why he keeps feeling surprised when I act like that."

Katie didn't add anything right away. She rested her head on the couch too, looking up at the ceiling.

"I can relate to that, I think" the girl commented eventually, distracted. Sebastian turned his head to look at her. "When you've seen someone at his best, even if he's normally at his worst… you just can't help but keep waiting for his good sides to come out again."

Sebastian observed her, intrigued. He would ask if by 'someone' the girl meant 'John', but he didn't have it in his nature to be that nosy. He didn't have to, though, because Katie locked eyes with him then and her smile kind of gave her away. It was a complicity smile, but it also looked kind of defeated.

"So. It's that why you didn't bring him along? You're scared you might act like an idiot and… end his patience?" She stared at him, knowingly.

Sebastian offered her a small smile. That was one way to put it.

"I can help" she smiled, his cheer coming back. "I can keep an eye on you, you know? Kick your foot when you're being inappropriate…" Katie joked.

"I think I just won't bring him over for now. Thanks, though" Sebastian chuckled. "I rather spare him the Ezra and Jim's flirty-stares show" he said, unable to hide his annoyance at that.

Kate rested her head on his shoulder. "You're such a heartbreaker, Seb. When are you gonna introduce me to some straight guys, for once?" She giggled.

Sebastian was chuckling and going over his mind to find some good match for her, when John came back to the living room, talking animatedly to a boy Sebastian just couldn't remember his name.

"That one doesn't play on my team, if you fancy some virgin flesh" Sebastian whispered on Katie's ear, gaining a punch from her. The poor boy was rather unattractive and nervous. Sebastian had noticed how he kept looking down whenever Katie talk to him and his cheeks went red like fire.

"Hey" John laid eyes on them. "Stick to your territory, Smythe" he told Sebastian off, his eyes lingering on Katie, playfully.

Sebastian threw him a cushion. "Nah. She's too good for me" he joked while he got up, then thought it better and added: "Actually, she's too good for both of us." He casted John a smirk and winked at Katie, if only to get under John's skin. "Anyway – I'm gonna scram, guys" he announced.

Sebastian observed a couple of disappointed faces, and looked immediately away when Jim locked eyes with him.

"Yup. I've got my own lady waiting for me. See you" Sebastian smirked maliciously, then wondered why he felt the necessity to underline the fact that he had a boyfriend, when everyone already knew Kurt. It was something about the way Jim looked at him. He just didn't want to encourage that in any way possible.

Sebastian went to the entrance, leaving some unattended 'bye's on his back, and hurried up looking for his coach as soon as he realised someone had followed him there.

"Hey, Sebastian" Jim called him tentatively, like he felt actually sorry to steal one single second of his time.

Sebastian forced himself to cool down; the guy was harmless. Still… It was getting hard to fight his own instinct. _Damn_. Sebastian had known a lot of guys like Jim. The timid kind, attracted to dark, jerk boys like him. And how he loved the effortless hunt.

How he would have enjoyed making feel uncomfortable a guy like that when he was single. Coming on to him, giving him more than he could handle, stretching him roughly... _Damn_. Eating out Kurt's butt and…

_Fuck. _He hadn't spent the night with Kurt since Monday, and it was starting to affect his mental process. And his needs. _Dammit_. Also, the boy in front of him was talking.

"… I really don't mean to bother you or anything. It's just that we're kind on a deadline to do the piece and I'll have to change the topic if your grandmother doesn't want to make it."

_Crap_. _The piece_. "Oh" Sebastian startled, coming back to reality. "Fuck, I totally forgot – sorry, man" he apologised, trying really _hard_ to ignore the way his body had aroused just two seconds ago. But Kurt's image kept popping out on his head, teasing him. "I'll let you know tomorrow. You can count on it" Sebastian babbled, putting on his coat.

"Great" Jim smiled brightly, already convinced. _Oh boy, _it took so little to please him. Sebastian shook the thought away. "Should I give you my number? I mean – I don't think we'll see each other tomorrow" the boy explained, taking out his cell phone clumsily.

"Right" Sebastian sighed, dreading this conversation already. His mind was calculating Kurt's schedules now. "Let me write in my number" he offered, taking Jim's phone from his hands before the boy had even handled it over.

"Sure" Jim said, startling. "I'll text you so you can keep mine."

Sebastian was already closing his fingers around the doorknob when he heard it: "Give my best to Kurt" Ezra said, arms folded and staring at them from the living room door. "Jim, have you seen the rooftop? We're taking the Chinese upstairs. Why don't I give you a head start?"

The boy put an arm around Jim's shoulders and directed him to the hall, passing by Sebastian, who just stood there, observing them mutely.

For a moment, he actually considered going with them, if only to keep Ezra's claws off Jim, a guy who was clearly not ready for someone like Ezra. Then, he shook his head. Was it any of his business? _Not really_.

/

Sebastian checked with Sam (saving his phone number had been a smart move) on the way to his car and learnt that Kurt wasn't home yet. _Dammit_. He considered going to Vogue and waiting for him outside. But what if the boy wasn't there? What if he was out there, having dinner with Isabelle and her fancy clients _again_?

_So much for trying and surprising him_, Sebastian mumbled while starting the car. He would have to call Kurt after all.

"Sebastian?" Kurt whispered. Sebastian put the speaker on.

"Hey" Sebastian sighed tiredly – Kurt sounded busy. "Still at work?"

"Ye-ah" Kurt articulated poorly. "Isabelle's about to end the meeting… or so she said half an hour ago" the boy explained.

_Dammit_. Sebastian took a deep breath. "Can I pick you up?" He asked, even though he already knew the answer.

Kurt sighed. "I don't know, Bas… you'd have to wait for me alone." Kurt's tone was kind, though, and Sebastian appreciated it. He couldn't take Kurt being harsh on him today. Not that Kurt was often harsh out of a blue, but sometimes work stressed him more than he wanted to admit.

"That's okay. I'll buy a pizza and wait on your fancy lounge. No problem" he insisted, hoping he wouldn't sound too clingy. _God_, but he was actually feeling clingy today. And anxious.

"O-kay" Kurt murmured, a little suspicious. "Is everything okay, Bas?"

Sebastian went mute. It wasn't, but he didn't want to talk about it over the phone. "Yeah. I'll meet you in a bit" he lied instead, hanging up before Kurt could ask again.

It comforted him, actually, having some time to kill. He crossed the Upper East Side, looking for Kurt's favourite pizza place. Which wasn't exactly Sebastian's favourite, but its offer on healthy meals was quite something. He ordered a couple of slices of vegetarian for Kurt and a couple of barbecue for him. His body craved the fats today. He also took a big Caesar salad – just in case Kurt was feeling like watching his weight tonight.

Right when Sebastian was making his way to the counter, he saw a stand with sulphite-free organic wine. He smiled. Kurt was a sucker for that shit, and the boy could surely use a drink – it was almost 9:00 p.m. and he was still working!

Sebastian reached Vogue's building and felt incredibly out of place as soon as the elevator doors opened. It looked like Vogue' floor was empty. He looked around, confused, hoping to see Kurt any moment, but there was no one in sight.

**To Marble (08:53 p.m.): **I'm at your desk

Sebastian sat at Kurt's chair. This wasn't the first he came to Vogue; he had come pick Kurt up more than once, yet he hadn't really been shown around. Mostly, because it was always pretty crowded and Kurt looked stressed and busy. Not that Sebastian wanted a tour though.

He sat at Kurt's desk, anyway, and took in Kurt's arrangement. Everything was in the right place, organized and clean. Piles of folders, loads of tabs opened on Kurt's laptop… yet there was some kind of order on the chaos.

Sebastian felt a sting of guilt again. For a moment, he imagined himself working at a desk like Kurt's. Not exactly at Vogue's – he found himself more suited for a newspaper agency, but still. He wondered if he would feel just half as happy as Kurt felt at Vogue. He doubted it.

"Hey!" Kurt greeted him cheerily, exploding his bubble.

Sebastian got up almost startled. He knew he shouldn't have sat there. "Hey" he greeted back, taken aback.

Kurt went for a hug, which took Sebastian by surprise, but he caught up with Kurt soon enough and returned it fondly.

"You look nice" Sebastian commented once they broke it off. Kurt looked fancy, as usual, but he looked more masculine today, for some reason. Maybe it was the dark colours he was wearing.

Kurt regarded him with curiosity, his hand still on Sebastian's arm. "Thanks, _you_" he smiled.

Sebastian got a little distracted observing Kurt's eyes. He had expected to see them puffy, darkened from the tiredness he might be feeling; instead, Kurt's eyes looked radiant and energised. Happy to meet his own. How did he do it?

"You're okay, meerkat?" Kurt asked him, stroking his arm. "The meeting's still on…" the boy scratched his nape, almost sorry to be saying that.

Sebastian shook his head. "Don't worry, Kurt. I knew I'd have to wait" he assured him, giving a small smile. "Speaking of, where is that famous lounge?"

"Kurt?" A female voice asked from behind Sebastian, making him feel annoyed already. _Goddammit_, couldn't he have Kurt for himself just for a few seconds?

"Isabelle" Kurt startled, somewhat nervously. He casted the woman an apologetic smile. "Sebastian – this is Isabelle Wright, my boss" Kurt introduced them, and Sebastian realised he had no option but to pull out his good manners.

"Sebastian Smythe. Nice to meet you" he mumbled, while offering Isabelle his hand.

The woman studied him silently while shaking his hand, curiosity on her eyes. "Well, well – the famous Sebastian" she smiled, brightly. "And here I thought Kurt was exaggerating…"

That gained a smirk from Sebastian, who couldn't help but regard Kurt with cockiness. He noticed his own ego rising up as Kurt's cheeks got darker. _Damn_. Had he needed to feel cocky lately…

"Aren't you a sweetheart… you like bragging about me?" Sebastian said intentionally hoarse, bringing his arm to rest over Kurt's shoulders. He felt Kurt shuddering under his touch, nervously.

Kurt casted him a bitchy glare, poorly disguised with a polite smile. "What did I tell you? He lives for his show-offs" he commented with Isabelle, making her chuckle.

Sebastian stared at him, pleased. He really _needed _to feel like his old, careless self tonight. "I didn't quite get why Kurt would rather spend his nights here that in my bed – 'cause, I mean, why would he, _right_?" He winked at Isabelle. "But now that I see you, ma'am…" Sebastian studied Isabelle from head to toes smirking suggestively, "I understand everything."

Isabelle laughed, slapping Sebastian's shoulder playfully, while Kurt kicked his foot, eyeing him murderously. "Sebastian" the boy whispered, his tone sharper than a moment before.

"Aw, relax, babe" Sebastian stroked his arm, still playing his part. "I'm just playing around" he winked at Isabelle again.

"Kurt" Isabelle smiled animatedly, feeling as comfortable around Sebastian already as to put her hand on his arm. But who could blame her, really? Sebastian knew he had amazing arms. "Why don't you show this lovely boy our rooftop, then come back for five minutes top, okay?" The woman suggested, kindly.

Sebastian's mind wandered momentarily to Jim and Ezra, and Kyle's rooftop. He had been there. He had fucked Kyle right there. He hoped that wasn't also Jim's destiny, but he couldn't really do anything right now.

"Th-the rooftop?" Kurt stuttered, clearly taken aback. "I don't think I've ever been in the rooftop" he explained, confused.

Isabelle looked surprised. "You haven't? Oh, dear! It's only the mere reason we rent in this building – I can't believe I never showed you!" The woman brought a hand to her hair, dramatically, then shook her head and smiled. "Ask Tom to take you there."

Kurt nodded, smiling nervously, and stood frozen as Isabelle went away.

"It was lovely to meet you Sebastian!" The woman shouted, waving a hand at him.

Sebastian nodded in response, tightening his hold on Kurt's shoulders. As soon as Isabelle was gone, Kurt shook Sebastian's arm abruptly.

"What is wrong with you? That was my boss, Sebastian!" Kurt eyed him annoyed, studying Sebastian with actual confusion and resentment. "You think it's appropriate to talk about your bed around her?"

Sebastian sighed. _Seriously?_ Couldn't he joke around Kurt when they were in public anymore? "She knew I was kidding, Kurt" he simply said, calmly, and looked down. He really didn't want to fight tonight.

"Because she's a great woman and has a great sense of humour!" Kurt argued, still kind of pitchy. "You can't count on everyone being like that!" He added tiredly. Sebastian looked down at the floor and he heard a heavy sigh.

He could feel Kurt's piercing eyes on his cheeks, waiting for him to look up and meet his gaze, but he just couldn't. He knew Kurt was right. That it had been inappropriate to say something like that in front of Kurt's boss, nice woman or not. _God._ Why had he done it, then? Couldn't Kurt just find it funny? And above all, why did it look like it only worked between the two of them when there was no one else around?

He felt Kurt's hand on his arm then. "Come on, meerkat. Let's go to the rooftop." The boy linked his arm with Sebastian's own and directed them to the elevator, where that Tom guy was standing.

They made their way up silently, arms still linked. Sebastian's gaze was no longer on the floor, but he didn't feel completely at ease yet as to look at Kurt.

He felt like an idiot. The whole reason he hadn't invited Kurt over to Kyle's had been to avoid showing him how much of an asshole he could be around anyone that wasn't Kurt himself, yet he had managed to do that with no other than Kurt's boss. _Good job, Smythe. Good job._

As soon as they stepped foot outside, Sebastian could see what Isabelle had meant. These were probably the best views Sebastian had seen of Manhattan, if he didn't count the Empire State, of course. He suddenly felt really contrasting these views with the ones from Kyle's rooftop, and felt a sting of guilt at the recurring thought.

It hadn't been none of his business to help Jim out, and it wasn't like Ezra was going to rape him right there, when the rest of boys were supposed to meet them for dinner (or so had Ezra said), but Sebastian could have helped anyway, if he hadn't been so busy thinking about how much he needed to relieve his arousal.

He looked at Kurt then, whose face showed true amazement. The boy was taking in the views, dropping the bags Sebastian had brought on a wooden table, elegantly accompanied by a vintage coach covered with blankets. There were even candles over the table. Isabelle was truly a sweetheart.

Kurt met his look and they stared at each other from a distance. There were so many things Sebastian wanted to tell him. He had never felt the need to tell someone so many things about himself before. _Fuck_, he didn't even feel aroused anymore. Just shaken.

"Five minutes?" Kurt asked him, and Sebastian felt like Kurt was actually asking him for permission to leave him there alone for five minutes; like Kurt had read on his face that Sebastian needed to say something and the boy was sorry to have to go back to his meeting.

Sebastian nodded, giving him a side smile. "Deal" he cleared his throat, which felt unexpectedly dry, "I'll set us up here." He started making his way to the table, while Kurt started walking towards him, and they met half-way, taking Sebastian by surprise.

Kurt wrapped his arms around him and brought him closer for a kiss, his fingertips brushing Sebastian's nape, softly.

Sebastian heard himself moaned lowly, mostly, because he felt powerless. Why was Kurt rewarding him like that? Shouldn't they talk about their disagreement first?

Fortunately, Kurt broke it off soon. "Five minutes" the boy repeated, giving him a final peck on his cheek.

/

It wasn't five minutes, but Sebastian had already known that. It was twenty, but when he finally heard the door and turned around to see Kurt running towards the couch, he couldn't care less.

"We're alone!" Kurt exclaimed, animated, showing Sebastian some keys. "We're the last ones here, not even Tom!" He giggled. "Not that Tom would be any inconvenient, you know, but… still" he sat down beside him and Sebastian quickly shared the blanket with him. It was getting really chilly.

"She must really trust you a lot" Sebastian observed, smiling at Kurt's confident smile. "She's lovely, by the way."

Kurt regarded him with joy. "She is, isn't she? I'm so glad you liked her" he giggled in a silly, tired way, bringing his head backwards to rest on Sebastian's shoulder. "And she loved you, you know" he added, pinching at Sebastian's torso. "She said, and I quote, that your 'cheekiness' was 'exquisite'" Kurt gestured, mimicking her, unable to contain another giggle.

Sebastian simply observed him, smiling himself, while his hand was already brushing Kurt's cheek. The boy looked so beautiful when he was happy…

"What did you get me?" Kurt asked, his stare falling on the table.

Sebastian hurried to serve him some wine on a plastic cup (_yup, classy_) and showed him the bottle so Kurt could read the label.

"Sulphite-free organic red wine…" The boy read, mumbling to himself, then widened his eyes and directed them at Sebastian's, studying him with fondness. "This wine is so unnecessary expensive, Bas… you didn't have to" he protested.

Sebastian ignored him. "… And some veggie pizza and a Caesar salad – you must be starving."

Kurt grabbed Sebastian's hand and held it on his own, squeezing it softly. "I am" he admitted, "but first I wanna thank my wonderful boyfriend, if that's okay" he smiled, blushing slightly.

Sebastian's chest got peaceful then, warmer, and he did what he guessed Kurt was suggesting: he held Kurt's back with his hands and captured his lips with his own, sliding them on a slow, intimate kiss. For they had no hurry now, no rush, and life seemed to taste sweeter when Kurt's lips were on his own.

Sebastian was about to tell himself off for that unbearably corny thought when Kurt's hands stroked his sides just slightly, putting great care on every subtle brush of its fingertips.

Somehow, that triggered something inside Sebastian. He had come a long way to bring himself to accept Kurt's love – and he wasn't even sure he had managed to do it completely, but _this_… This kindness Kurt chose to award him with whenever he acted like an idiot... _this _he could not take.

"I'm sorry about earlier, Kurt" Sebastian whispered over Kurt's lips, feeling like his body could actually explode if Kurt kept kissing him like he was the most precious thing he had ever had on his hands. It felt wrong, and Sebastian just couldn't shake that feeling.

Kurt cupped his cheeks tenderly, though. "It's okay – I probably overreacted a little..."

_For Christ's sake_, Sebastian couldn't help but shake his head, getting rid of the hold of Kurt's hands on his face. "Don't, Kurt" he snapped, trying to keep his temper under control. "You're always doing this" he complained, throwing his head backwards on the couch and away from Kurt's. He took a deep breath.

"What?" Kurt asked, upset on his voice. "What am I always doing?"

Sebastian couldn't bring himself to look at Kurt for the second time on the same day. But he didn't need to do it to know that Kurt was resented. Sebastian just couldn't believe himself. How stupid was he acting? Had he just stopped Kurt from kissing him?

"You always look the other way when I do something wrong" Sebastian said anyway. Anger was somehow bottling up his chest. "When I behave differently than how you expect me to" he breathed out, anxiously.

He looked at Kurt then. The boy looked puzzled.

"Sure – you call me an asshole, get mad at me for like… What? Five minutes? But you always end up rewarding me, Kurt" Sebastian protested, maybe somewhat louder than he used to sound, but emotions were taking over control of his words now, and it felt _so_ relieving to say what he had on his mind.

"We talked about this – about making up excuses for each other," Sebastian continued, "and you're not helping me! You're only encouraging me, _God_."

And here it was again. That sting of anxiety piercing through his chest sharply, numbing his senses, deafening his hearing, making him feel hopeless… He knew which his next words would be:

"I'm sorry, Kurt" he mumbled, still fighting the overwhelming feeling he was getting.

"Don't. You're right" Kurt commented, with a detached tone. Sebastian observed him: the boy was looking down, fumbling the plastic cup with his fingers, thoughtful. "But you're being really unfair, Sebastian" he locked eyes with Sebastian's then, and Sebastian noticed Kurt wasn't _that_ detached. At all. His eyes were kind of watery. He wasn't crying though, _thankfully_.

"I just- I noticed you weren't okay today, so I was giving you a break – that's all" Kurt bit back, his tone more pitchy as his cheeks got anger-red. "And by the way, you don't get to be mad at me because I'm being nice to you!" Kurt spitted out, reaching for the bottle of wine with slightly trembling hands, trying to pour himself another glass.

"'Cause _yeah_ – you're right: we've talked about this! So you need to grow up and get over the fact that I want to treat you right. I'm sorry my seventeen-year-old, bitchy, rude self isn't here anymore to be mean to you, or to turn you on more than my actual self does, but this is what you got!" Kurt panted.

Before Sebastian could realise what he was doing, he had already jumped on Kurt, making Kurt's back crash hardly against the couch while he attacked those tempting (now trembling) lips and stroked impossibly firmer Kurt's sides.

"_I'm sorry_" Sebastian exhaled between kisses, while Kurt tried to get Sebastian off him.

"Don't!" Kurt protested, shaking Sebastian's hands and pulling the boy back. "You know how unfair this is for me? You think I don't want to kiss you?" He snapped, upset. "I do" he told Sebastian, cupping his cheeks. "But whenever I give in to you, you accuse me of looking the other way, Sebastian. Of being unhelpful" he protested. "I just…" he sighed, tiredly, "I just don't know what you want me to do. Do you want me to hate you? Do you want me to love you? I feel like I'll screw up either way."

Sebastian hid his head on Kurt's neck, breathing in agitatedly. "I prefer for you to love me…"

For a moment, all Sebastian could hear was his own heavy breathing on Kurt's skin, warming up the spot and mixing with Kurt's own scent. Then, he almost startled when he felt a couple of gentle hands stroking his hair, combing it real slowly to help him feel at ease. It worked, because Sebastian felt himself relax after a few minutes.

No long after that, Kurt's hands were replaced by his lips, and Sebastian couldn't quite believe how healing those lips felt.

"What happened today?" Sebastian heard Kurt ask, after a couple of minutes.

With no little effort and will, he peeked out his head and met Kurt's eyes, which had softened noticeably and were looking now at him expectantly.

"I had lunch with my dad" he admitted, but that was a little reductive as to why he had snapped out like that with Kurt. "And it kind of brought me down, I guess" he explained with a wry smile.

"Oh" Kurt made, thoughtfully. "You hadn't seen him in a while, hadn't you?" The boy asked, concerned.

"Thankfully" Sebastian joked, but judging by Kurt's expression it might be not that common to feel grateful about not seeing your father. He sighed. "My grandfather's birthday is next week, so… my dad just wanted to make sure I didn't miss the date" he smiled, sarcastically.

Kurt regarded him attentively, biting the inside of his mouth. "I can help you pick a present if you want" the boy offered, uncertain, "… and we can mail it, along with a birthday card and your "_sincere apologies_" for not giving it to him in person" He smiled, knowingly.

Sebastian caressed Kurt's arm, appreciating the gesture. He knew that the detachment he felt towards his family wasn't the easiest thing to get. Especially for someone like Kurt, who felt so close to his dad and who had lost not only a mother, but also a stepbrother recently. Yet the boy managed to make Sebastian feel understood, less of a weirdo than he normally felt.

"Unfortunately, this is the one date I cannot miss" Sebastian explained. "They always throw a big, pretentious party just to keep the appearances. They would banish me for good if I didn't go" he chuckled, more out of irony than anything else, because banishment was actually something he wanted. If only he had the balls…

"That could be your chance" Kurt half-joked, giving him a nervous smile.

"Nah" Sebastian shook his head. "I know how to pick my battles" he lied. "I'll just… endure the party. That should cut me some slack from them."

"I don't like the sound of that word" Kurt mumbled.

Sebastian arched an eyebrow at him. "Which one?"

"_Endure_" Kurt admitted, squeezing his shoulder. "I'm definitely not eager to meet your grandfather, Bas, but… you know I could come with you, right?" The boy suggested, nervously. "I mean, for moral support" he chuckled, somewhat awkward.

"Oh" Sebastian froze. _That's nice of you_, he thought, but he couldn't bring himself to say it out loud. He very much preferred sparing Kurt the evening and the displeasure of knowing his family. Besides, even though his family had never really objected to the fact that he was gay, they had made it pretty clear that there was no need to make it public like that. "Thank you" Sebastian articulated anyway, because it seemed rude and awkward not to do so. "But um-, I'm not sure it'd be the greatest idea."

Kurt nodded almost immediately. "Oh, sure" the boy smiled nervously, looking down. "I totally get it. I was just offering, you know."

Sebastian moved forwards to steal a kiss from those rosy lips. "And I thank you" he murmured, then kissed Kurt again.

Kurt rested his forehead against Sebastian's, relaxing a little.

"Anything else on your mind?" The boy asked kindly, after a few seconds.

Sebastian shook his head, though. "Loads" he chuckled. "But let's enjoy this" he murmured, wrapping his arms around Kurt's torso and hugging him closer, his face just a few inches away from Kurt's.

They were so close he could actually feel Kurt's breath hovering over his lips, tickling his nose. Sebastian brushed his nose against Kurt's then, out of instinct.

Inevitably, there was that feeling again: that need to tell Kurt a thousand things, things he didn't even know how to handle himself, but that he knew, somehow, that Kurt could help him do so. Because the boy was actually smiling at him, with a slightly lifted, side smile, and this was the same boy that had been yelling at him only five minutes ago. That only meant that if someone knew how to handle Sebastian, that one was _Kurt_.

Yet Sebastian couldn't bring his mouth to voice his thoughts. Not when he had meant it when he had said that he wanted to enjoy _this_. This proximity with Kurt when things were argued, fixed and forgiven.

"I edited my first post today" Kurt told him, after a few minutes.

Sebastian squeezed his waist and looked up. "That's huge, Kurt! Congratulations" he grinned.

Kurt grinned back, timidly. "It was a small piece" he shrugged, ever the humble. "But it was exciting" he conceded. "Can I show it to you later?"

"Of course you can, dummy" Sebastian told him off, playfully. "I'd love to see it."

Kurt nodded, his lips puckering with excitement. "Great."

Sebastian's mind wandered back to the piece about his grandma that Jim had offered him to do. He mentally slapped himself, because he hadn't even bothered to read the magazine, and he had had it on his power for a week now.

A little struggle took over Sebastian's mind then. He wanted to tell Kurt that he loved writing, but the fact that Kurt hadn't even seen him writing discouraged him. Besides, he didn't write that much anymore. It felt almost like a lie. But he did like it. Even loved it…

"I've always loved writing" Sebastian let slip, apparently too foggy to keep his thoughts at bay tonight around Kurt. _Is it Kurt's doing?_ He wondered. He normally had no problem to control what he said at every moment.

Kurt casted him a surprised, yet subtle smile then. "Really? I didn't know that" the boy admitted. His tone was kind, not incredulous, and that tiny detail helped Sebastian go on.

"Yeah" he said, feeling a little incredulous himself. "It has no format, though. I don't even know what it is, but… I can't remember a time when I didn't, back when I was a little kid" he explained, feeling reassured by the way Kurt kept brushing his fingertips along his arm.

"Is it private?" Kurt asked, with a cautious smile.

Sebastian regarded him thoughtfully. It was. But so was his relationship with Kurt. It seemed silly that Kurt didn't have access to some other private aspects of his life. And above all, Sebastian couldn't fully admit it, but he wanted to show Kurt.

So he shook his head. "I mean- it is… but not for you" he clarified. "It's just that I haven't written in a while, you know? So it feels weird… I wouldn't even know what to show you. It could be stuff from before we were together" he bit the inside of his mouth. He suspected there might be some dark stuff from those days.

Kurt's smile turned fond, understanding. "You can show me whatever you want – I'm not gonna judge you."

Kurt's pupils tickled, and his eyes were impossibly more loving. Sebastian wondered if his eyes would look the same, but somehow he doubted it.

"I know" he smiled back, though. "You never do. Never did" he recalled, thinking back about one of their first nights in Central Park, when Kurt had told him he had made it a purpose of his not to judge Sebastian from what they had shared back in high school. It had felt so relieving, so fresh…

"Don't think I do that very often" Kurt said playfully, "I'm normally very judgy."

Sebastian's ego was looking better. "Kurtie, Kurtie, Kurtie…" he came closer, biting down his lip and staring at Kurt's lips teasingly while his hand got under the fabric of Kurt's shirt, "you've always been doing all these exceptions with me, even before you got to know me… and I can't help but wonder, babe…" he stroked Kurt's skin now, enjoying every second of the shudder that his touch was provoking on Kurt's body, "did you always have a crush on me?"

"Oh, don't flatter yourself, Sebastian" Kurt said. Words that contrasted noticeably with his facial expression: his cheeks had immediately blushed, and his eyes had momentarily shown panic, which only fed Sebastian's ego even more.

Sebastian smirked, pleased. "You did, didn't you?"

"Excuse me!" Kurt protested nervously, overreacting a little. Sebastian could tell the boy was having a hard time making his case when he had Sebastian all over him, pressing his body more harshly every minute against the couch. "It wasn't me who considered the other as jerking material" he scoffed, all dignified.

Sebastian's mind lingered back then to Kurt's previous words about his seventeen-year-old self. "Kurt" his tone lost some malicious, but the images crossing his mind weren't more innocent exactly. "I feel no shame to admit that your seventeen-year-old _effeminate_-self turned on the hell out of me" Sebastian whispered, hoarsely. "But I find every version of you extremely provoking, gayface… And it is this _man_ right here" he stroked Kurt's sides again, "who I felt so attracted to that I had to make mine." Kurt gave him one of his cheeky, yet timid smiles. Those smiles that Sebastian suspected were only reserved to him. "So you do the maths, marble."

Kurt closed the distance between them and gave him a loving kiss, bringing up his hands to hold Sebastian's cheeks.

"Okay" Kurt breathed out, his mouth still almost glued to Sebastian's. "It's confessions' time, huh?" He giggled, nervously. He brought his head back just a few inches, enough to be able to look Sebastian in the eyes. "When I first met you, and saw your Dalton blazer, I thought… _oh boy_" he chuckled, his lips arching in that almost child-like way that made Sebastian tremble. "_Who is this man and where was he last year?_" Kurt continued, more relaxed after that. "But then you opened your mouth, meerkat…" Sebastian glared at him, offended, but Kurt bit his jaw. "And from that moment on I just felt intimidated. Deep down secretly attracted, yeah, but… mostly intimidated."

"Can you imagine if we had met at Dalton?" Sebastian wondered, amused. "That would've been _so much_ fun, babe."

"Yeah… I doubt it" Kurt scratched his nape. "I was in a very sensitive place when I transferred to Dalton. I doubt your mocks would've helped" he admitted, looking down.

"Kurt" Sebastian kissed him again, driven but _God knows _what force to comfort him. "I would've mocked the crap out of you, yeah" he smirked, playfully. "But you're a smart boy" he chuckled, "you would've guessed soon enough that I was only flirting with you."

"You're so twisted…" Kurt rolled his eyes, then smiled, "but I love it" and returned the kiss.

Sebastian didn't allow this time that Kurt's lips left his own, so he captured them again as soon as they were trying to part, deepening the kiss.

"Bas" Kurt breathed out, taking a few inches of distance, "we can't do it in here" he murmured, almost scared of his own thoughts.

Sebastian couldn't contain a chuckle. "Of course we can, babe..." He attacked Kurt's lips again, this time lowering down his hand to reach Kurt's belt. "We're alone, aren't we?"

"… I'm sure there are cameras!" Kurt panted, sitting up straighter. "Oh _Sweet Merciful_ _Gaga_, why didn't I think of that before?" He smoothed down his shirt, nervously.

Sebastian sighed, giving up. "Kurt, you're killing me!" He protested, covering his face with his hands.

Kurt rushed to apologise, rubbing his arms. "Oh, Bas – I'm sorry" the boy murmured, and Sebastian just couldn't understand why he was whispering now. "Let's go to your car."

Sebastian's hands fell off then. "We've never done it in my car" he observed, his mind already providing him with very vivid images of Kurt on his knees…

"What?" Kurt startled. "I meant so we can go home!" He argued, flustered.

But Sebastian had already made up his mind. "Nope. _Home _now is pretty crowded. I'm not eager to greet Santana. Sorry, babe" he got up and started cleaning up the table.

"Oh – you're spending the night with me" Kurt snapped with authority, suddenly confident. "Enough with the avoiding, Bas. It's not like she's gonna hit you, or something" Kurt shrugged, confused. "Besides…" the boy wrapped his arms around Sebastian's torso, "I can get very protective…" he joked, kissing Sebastian's cheek.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I don't need you to protect me, gayface" he bit back, irritated. "If you knew what she said to me the last time I saw her…" he felt a sting of uneasiness, his mind playing for him the memory of Santana at the diner.

Kurt let go of him then. "Okay – for the thousandth time, Sebastian. What the hell did she say to you that day?"

"Nothing, nothing" Sebastian tried to shake it off casually, though he suspected he had already given himself away. He turned around to look for his jacket when his eyes met Kurt's. They looked cold and calculating. It almost made him startle, because he didn't want in the least to have problems with Santana. "Oh, _for Christ's sake_, Kurt – let it go!"

Kurt scoffed, annoyed. "Don't _for Christ's sake _me, Sebastian!" He protested. "You know I don't like it."

His lips almost turned into a childish pout, and Sebastian had to keep himself from chuckling. He opted for leaving his hands on Kurt's waist instead. "Babe…" he brushed his nose against Kurt's, "it was no big deal. Kind of funny, actually" he smirked. "She threatened to put hidden cameras all over my place to tape my sex encounters and sell them on the porn market if I ever _even_ thought of hurting you" he chuckled, though he felt slightly unsettled by Santana's ingenuity.

Kurt chuckled too, biting his lip. "That's sweet of her."

Sebastian shook his head, amused. "_Sweet_. Right."

"We should check your apartment, though" Kurt commented, scratching his nape. "We shouldn't take her words lightly…"

Sebastian froze. _Are you serious?_ He remembered then the slushie incident and the witty way Santana had managed to rat him out. Hidden cameras and devices were her specialty, weren't they?

Kurt laughed then, putting an arm around Sebastian's shoulders. "You should've seen your face…"

/

"One could say we didn't just have sex in your car…" Kurt mumbled between kisses, breathing out heavily when Sebastian crashed his back against the hall.

They were only inches away from Kurt's apartment door, but going there would mean having to face another presences, and Sebastian wasn't exactly _eager_ to see them. Not that Sam was any inconvenience (compared to Santana, the boy was a gift from heaven), but the latina girl…

"We could go back to the car" Sebastian suggested, unbuttoning Kurt's pants not exactly gently.

Kurt stopped him, putting his hands over Sebastian's own. "Bas, we just did it… three times" he giggled, incredulously. "It's almost midnight – I'm sure she'll be asleep by now."

_Buzzkill_. Sebastian groaned against Kurt's neck, annoyed. "Did you have to bring her to this? Really?"

Kurt seized the opportunity to button up his pants again. "Yup" the boy joked, fixing his shirt. "I'm sorry but I'm tired, and I _need_ to sleep" he pouted, bringing his hands now to caress Sebastian's hips, apologetically.

"Tease" Sebastian mumbled. It was kind of his favourite insult to say to Kurt.

Kurt shrugged and took out his keys. Sebastian gulped down the upcoming nod on his throat but stood still, trying to look unaffected. Internally, he was forcing himself to cool down.

He wasn't used to feel this intimated by anyone. And, truth to be told, he hadn't ever felt intimidated by Santana before. Not even when the girl exposed him in front of the Warblers, not even when he saw her at the diner. _Well_, at least not at first.

It wasn't until Santana made that silly, almost funny threat that Sebastian started to fear her. Not because of the threat itself; of course not. It was about the way she had looked at him. Like she didn't buy any of his good behaviour around Kurt.

When Kurt looked at him, the boy managed somehow to see underneath the surface, but Sebastian didn't expect anyone else to do so. Curiously enough, Sebastian had noticed that Kurt had this _effect_ on people, this really _unexpected_ and contagious way to make them see what he saw on Sebastian. It was difficult to explain, but Sam and Rachel were the example.

Both boys had every reason to think the worst of Sebastian, yet since Kurt had started hooking up with him, they had been nothing but nice to him.

Santana was a different story, though. The girl wouldn't look through Kurt's loving eyes. She would look through her own, realistic ones. And that was what Sebastian feared.

"Bas?" Kurt asked, holding the door for him. Sebastian realised he had spaced out, but hurried to regain himself and followed Kurt inside.

There was only Sam on the couch, sleepy, snoring-Sam, so Kurt and he walked normally towards Kurt's room. They had learnt by now that Sam wouldn't wake up to the sound of a canyon.

However, as soon as they had closed the curtains behind them…

"Lady Hummel" Santana ran the curtains again, stepping inside without invitation.

Sebastian contained a groan and offered the girl a hand, forcing a polite smile. "Hey, Santana. Nice to see you again."

The girl didn't take his hand, though. She winced and examined him from head to toes without hiding her disgust. "Save the nice boy act for Kurt's father" she mocked him, then turned around and looked at Kurt, automatically blocking and ignoring Sebastian's presence on the room. Sebastian stood still though, surprised.

"Kurt – I need the black top you insist it's boy's clothes. I've got an interview tomorrow" she smirked, smug.

Kurt casted her a smile and went to his drawer. "I'm surprised you waited for me to be home and didn't just take it instead. You're improving, San-"

As soon as Kurt opened the drawer, it became quite obvious that Santana had already gone through its content.

"Do you think I'd be asking if I hadn't already looked for it?" She sighed, folding her arms. "It's not here. I looked everywhere" she complained.

Kurt glared at her, and for once Sebastian was happy that Kurt's cold gaze wasn't directed at him.

"You're unbelievable, Santana" Kurt mumbled, annoyed, then started looking on another drawer.

"Not there either…" Santana murmured, lowly.

Kurt scoffed. "Then why the hell did you ask me?" He snapped, angry.

"_Sex_-bastian" Santana called him then, "be of some use and calm down your boyfriend, _please_ – he's losing it" the girl bit back.

"I'm gonna kill her" Kurt mumbled, walking towards Santana with a murderous expression, and Sebastian understood then that Santana wasn't joking. He grabbed Kurt by the wrist and stopped him from doing _God knows what _to Santana on revenge.

"Easy, Kurt" Sebastian told him, "_Sha-Queer-A_ here is just saying she missed me, isn't she?" He winked at her.

Santana had the nerve to actually yawn, playing the disinterest. "Sha-queer-a? Really? Three years and you hadn't been able to come up with something wittier?" She smirked.

Sebastian _high-fived _himself, because he knew he had this _round_ under control. "Didn't have the time, _babe_. Too busy honouring the name you just gave me" he said, intentionally smug. "But hey, I appreciate the time and effort you put into finding me a suitable nickname. Three years. _Yikes_" he clicked his tongue, pretending to feel awkward.

Santana gave him a cheeky smile. _Wait. _Why was she smiling? Sebastian had just burned her! Then Sebastian followed the direction of Santana's eyes and noticed Kurt. The boy was looking down, his lips puckered from the force he was putting into biting the inside of his mouth. _Crap_.

"I mean – why don't I help you find that black top?" Sebastian rushed to say, going himself to the drawer and trying to look busy. And helpful.

He heard Santana's annoying chuckle on his back, but Kurt was now beside him looking for the top too, so the danger was probably over.

After a few seconds Kurt froze, turning around to face Santana. "The top isn't here" he announced, looking suddenly paler. "Okay?"

Santana frowned, and so did Sebastian, but Kurt just offered them an awkward smile and started gesturing like it was no big deal. "Blaine has it. So…"

Sebastian couldn't contain a chuckle. Why did Kurt think that was something to feel awkward about? Sebastian couldn't care less. Yet he didn't like hearing Santana chuckling too. They locked eyes and winced. They shouldn't share such a similar sense of humour.

"Okay, ladyface. I'll leave you two to your affairs. Please let me borrow your earplugs – I don't wanna be scarred for life after tonight" she spit out with disgust.

"No need for that" Kurt said, and Sebastian was about to punch him, really, because he knew Santana would take the chance to mock them a little more for that. "We're gonna sleep" he announced to Sebastian, like it was final.

Sebastian bit down his lip, unwilling to protest or to share any other detail of their intimate, private life with Santana.

"Sleep?" The girl chuckled. "Oh boy, I'll take the nickname back, _stud_" she snorted. "Better call you _Saint_-bastian."

Sebastian was throwing daggers at her with his eyes when thankfully Kurt dragged her out the room. "That's enough, Satan. Have a lovely night."

Sebastian could still hear her evil chuckles but at least now the curtains were closed and Kurt and he were alone.

"Finally" he sighed, relieved.

Kurt gave him a small smile, understandingly, then started undressing himself without further warning.

"Wo-wo slow down, _Kurtie_ – that's the kind of thing I think I've earned the right to do" he joked, getting closer to be the one undressing Kurt.

Unfortunately, Kurt snapped his hands off. "I don't think so, _Sex-bastian_" he smirked maliciously.

Sebastian couldn't contain a smile himself. "I kinda like that name, babe. It's good for my ego, you know?" He left his hands again on Kurt's waist, and this time Kurt let them be.

"Oh" Kurt chuckled, "is your ego in trouble?" He joked, grabbing Sebastian's hands to pull his sweatshirt all the way up.

Sebastian let Kurt's hands guide his movements, and soon enough he felt a tickle of hunger on his crotch. "It is. You don't spoil it enough" he clicked his tongue, as if to tell Kurt off for his bad behaviour. "You should worship this bod, you know…"

Kurt blushed slightly, but kept casting him a small smile. Sebastian helped him get rid of his, as usual, tight pants. Then, as Kurt was about to leave, probably to give his face his moisturising night ritual on the bathroom, Sebastian grabbed his thighs and clicked his tongue again while shaking his head.

"You're not going anywhere" he said, maybe a little affected. But like hell he cared.

Kurt's eyes tickled. As if he wasn't used by now to Sebastian's rough, unexpected, sex manners. Having Kurt sat on his knees on bed, Sebastian brought his lips to kiss those long and white thighs. Without previous warning, he pulled out his tongue and started _eating_ the inside of those sinful thighs, going slowly higher and higher until he met the fabric of Kurt's underwear with his teeth.

Kurt's lips let slip a quiet moan, and Sebastian took it as a hint to go on. With his teeth, he skilfully grabbed the fabric of the briefs and started pulling down slowly while he brought a hand to pull down from the back. Soon enough, the briefs were halfway Kurt's legs, and Sebastian had what he wanted.

He grabbed Kurt's ass cheeks and massaged them firmly. His eyes though were quite fixated on _his prize_. Kurt's dick was at full display, hard and ready for him. Without giving Kurt a second to react, he slid it on his mouth and sucked it, massaging with his free hands Kurt's nuts.

This time, the moan that escaped Kurt's lips wasn't _that_ quiet. It was somewhat deeper, and Sebastian couldn't help but feel pride. He wasn't _Saint_-bastian, nor did he intend to. He found _joy_, if that was an accurate word to describe what he felt, at being _Sex_-bastian. Was that so wrong? He thought not. And judging by Kurt's back, arched on response to Sebastian's skilled tongue and mouth, Sebastian thought Kurt would totally agree with him, if given the chance.

"Sebs-" Kurt mumbled, confusingly. "Bas, I-" he moaned, hoarsely. "I need to lay down, _please_…" Kurt actually _begged_, making the inside of Sebastian's pants feel impossibly tighter.

"Fuck, Kurt" he moaned himself, if only for seeing Kurt aroused like that. Without losing a moment, he grabbed Kurt's thighs and back and made Kurt tumble down on bed, less gently than he would normally do. But he was too affected now to notice such subtleties.

His mouth went instantly back to his job, feeling now Kurt's hips shaking and arching against his hands constantly. Even following a rhythm.

As usual, Kurt tried to warn him from the upcoming cum, but Sebastian actually enjoyed pretending that he didn't notice Kurt's pats on his shoulders or his ineloquent babbles, because he knew how much of a torture it was for Kurt to think he was actually about to do something that Sebastian wouldn't like. But Sebastian didn't mind tasting Kurt's cum. At all.

When Kurt's last, deep moan was out, Sebastian tumbled down over him, wrapping his arms around him, as if to protect Kurt of something. Of what, he didn't know.

"Sant- _Santana'-gonn'-kill-us_" Kurt breathed out, his chest still inflating and deflating agitatedly.

Sebastian shushed him. "You were quiet. Relax" he squeezed Kurt's sides, reassuringly. "Besides, she had it coming" he smirked.

Even with the little energy Kurt had left, the boy slapped his shoulder. "Idiot" he mumbled.

Sebastian didn't even bother to answer. Somewhere between Kurt's chest, the boy's breathing was more audible, and the white-noise-machine effect was just what Sebastian needed to doze off. He fell asleep completely dressed, but he had never felt more comfortable.


	8. Chapter 8

Hi everyone! As usual, thanks for being kind enough to read and give me your feedback. Feedback is amazing. Fanfiction is amazing! And I think I'll never stop fangirling about it.

Speaking of, these days I've been a little slow at writing because I've been a little busy reading! Such wonderful fics… I finally read _A change in the weather_. I can't even! Oh my. That was so freaking good. Everyone go read it if you haven't yet! It's on livejournal.

About this chapter. It's freaking long and heterogeneous. But I had fun writing it, so I can only hope you have fun reading it :) Incidentally, the last bit of Kurt and Sebastian in bed was certainly inspired by ACITW. I don't know if it will show, but if it does that would be so awesome. Such a great fic!

P.s.1. I don't own Glee.

P.s.2. Happy reading!

P.s.3. I feel like my smug-loving writing sucks lately. Sorry for that.

* * *

><p>He didn't even know how it had happened. One morning- <em>wait, scratch that<em>- one of _those mornings that Sebastian woke up without Kurt_, Sebastian had suddenly known it.

Sebastian was in bed, paralysed; woken up to the sound of the alarm and startled by its terrible message: he had one hour to get ready and go to class. But he felt frozen. He turned off the alarm and laid down again, just not to sleep (if only he could…). He simply stayed there instead, still, slowly coming to terms with the realisation that he would never step foot on a pre-med class again.

He felt confused. How come he had come to that conclusion? And when? _Fucking when?_ He hadn't even decided on such thing.

He just knew it, though. Deep down inside him, he just knew he was done with pre-med. And there was nothing he could do to shake off the sensation.

The thought of dropping out had been hovering his mind for a while now. _Hell_, for a year maybe. But he had thought he still had time to figure things out. _Fuck_, to even have a call on the matter. Apparently he didn't. A strong determination to leave that path had settled upon him, without as much as a warning.

Sebastian sat down on bed and brought his knees to his chest, curling up in a protective kind of way. He didn't want to confront the outside world. Not yet.

Besides, he was alone in his apartment. It wasn't like someone would confront him either. Or make him change his mind, which would probably be wiser – that much he still knew.

It would be wiser to get up, get in the shower, and get on with his day like he had been doing since his sophomore year had started a couple of months ago.

But today was not just another day, apparently. Even if it was just another Wednesday and nothing major had happened. _Plus_, he suddenly remembered, he actually _had to _go to class. To the NYU facilities, at least, because he had Theatre Club meeting. One of the official ones, not the clandestine type.

That only reminded him that it was Wednesday, and he had promised this Jim guy almost one week ago that he would give him a call to tell him if Edna was on board with the piece for his magazine. Yet Sebastian had completely forgotten about it. _Well_, not completely. He had simply _passed_.

Sebastian got up then, half startled, half unaware of what he was doing. He didn't even shower; he just threw some of the clothes he had worn the previous days and got out the apartment before his inner monologue could get any worse.

He checked his cell phone. No sign of Kurt. The boy was probably in class. Or working. And just like that Sebastian felt resented. He couldn't really say why, but he did.

He got in his car and drove all the way to Lexington. He hadn't even read Jim's NYU magazine yet, but he knew now that he would read it _later_.

Right _now_ though, he would interview Edna. What he would ask her for the piece, he had no clue. Sebastian supposed things would work out, somehow.

/

"… It was another time; that's true. But you always have a choice. I just didn't exercise mine" Edna said while casting Sebastian a bittersweet smile, yet keeping her chin high. That was something that Sebastian admired about her, her ability not to dismiss her responsibilities while keeping a gracious gesture.

"Okay" Sebastian murmured while he finished writing a thought on his notepad. "That should be it" he commented, pressing stop on the voice recorder app of his cell phone. He looked up at Edna then, to check on her state. The woman could get a little melancholic when she talked about her old, golden days and the triumphs, mistakes and consequences that came along with those.

Edna was smiling, though. "You're a wonderful interviewer, Sebastian. I'm so proud of you" the woman put her hand over Sebastian's and squeezed it. Sebastian returned the smile briefly.

"You'd be proud of me even if I lived under a bridge" Sebastian chuckled, amused at how little effort it take for him to get a compliment from his grandma. _Well_, it was his grandma, after all.

"Of course I would! If that made you happy" Edna played along, with dreamy eyes.

"Fear not. I intend to live with a roof over my head for now" he joked, but there was something about this conversation that was making him feel like a liar, somehow. He knew he intended to keep on living on his apartment, yet the revelation he had suffered this morning about pre-med has somehow affected all his emotions at once. An itch on some little, twisted hole on his bran that reminded him: _No pre-med? No apartment_.

But he knew he'd have to come back to that apartment. For starters, all his stuff was there. Also, he still lived _there_. _So enough with the drama_, he told himself off. What was wrong with him today?

"How's school?" Edna asked all of a sudden, shaking Sebastian out of his thoughts. "Is any subject giving you trouble?"

Sebastian felt a sting of guilt at that question. School was over. He didn't know when, nor did he know how, but school was over for good. "School's… good" he shrugged, though. He might have suffered a revelation that morning, but he had merely let himself go from that moment on. Nothing was decided yet. It was weird, and contradictory: he was done with school but he hadn't decided it. "Same old, same old."

Edna nodded, thoughtful. "And Kurt?" She inquired, narrowing her eyes. "Is everything okay with Kurt?"

Sebastian couldn't help but find the question funny. He wasn't sure if Edna knew about Kurt and him. Sure, they always visited Maggie and her together, even left Lexington together, but that could also mean they were good friends, _right_? _I mean, above all, we are friends_, Sebastian thought.

"Yeah" Sebastian said, honestly. Everything was wonderful with Kurt, actually. "Why are you asking?" He asked, out of curiosity.

Edna sifted on her seat, visibly struggling for words. Sebastian observed her eyes then. Edna was the most readable person he had ever met. Everything he needed to know about what was going on with her mind, was always there: on her eyes. She was concerned now. It was pretty obvious that she was concerned _about Sebastian_. Sebastian didn't know why, though.

"You don't look so happy lately" she admitted, after a few seconds. Sebastian's eyes widened a little at that. He _was _very happy with Kurt, actually. What was she talking about? "I'm not talking about Kurt" Edna chuckled then, as if she could also read right through him just as easily. "In fact, you couldn't look more radiant when that sweet, lovely kid is around" she added kindly, making Sebastian's stomach twist funnily.

_Okay_. So she knew. There was no way she didn't know about Kurt and him after a commentary of such kind.

Sebastian's lips curled up unconsciously, adopting the shape of a smile. _You nosy lady_, he thought with amusement.

"… But when he's not-" Edna continued, her facial features wrinkling again, puckering her lips as if she didn't even want to say it out loud. "You don't look the same, son" she ended up smiling, kindly, to take some tension off. "Is everything okay with you? Talk to your grandma, Bastian. Don't hide from me the only thing that brings me joy these days: that loving, big heart of yours."

Her hand had grabbed Sebastian's and was holding it affectionately, reassuringly even. Sebastian felt a nod coming up his throat, making almost impossible for him to even fully read and understand the scene.

Was Edna overreacting? Did he really look that bad? It didn't matter, really. At least not right that moment, because Edna's eyes felt heavy and overwhelming on Sebastian's own, and he knew he would only worry her more if he didn't say anything at all.

"Edna…" he started, scratching his nape awkwardly. Edna's eyes tickled expectantly. "It's pre-med" he breathed out, tiredly. "It's also New York" he added almost unconsciously after a pause. "And grandpa. And dad. And…" Sebastian sighed. It was too many things. It was… "Everything" Sebastian admitted. Everything felt like too much lately. "It's everything and nothing at the same time, you know?" He chuckled, probably because of the tension he was feeling upon his shoulders.

"Sebastian" Edna interfered quickly, grabbing his hand now and squeezing it between her owns. "Be honest, dear. If not with me, with yourself. Why did you come to New York to study?" She asked, scrutinising his eyes.

If this had been any other person in the word, _anyone_, maybe included Kurt, Sebastian would've answered evasively. _Hell_, Sebastian would've probably changed the subject a few minutes ago. Most probably would've told them to _fuck off_. But this was his grandmother. How did anyone hide from his grandmother?

"You know why" Sebastian smiled bitterly. "It's not like I had much of a choice" he recalled, resentment filling up his chest. Something tickled on his belly then. Earlier that morning, he had thought he was feeling resentment towards Kurt. Resentment because Kurt was living the life Kurt wanted and that had forced Sebastian to revaluate his own. Now, he realised he had misplaced that resentment, and that he was probably feeling it towards his father. Hatred, even.

Edna shook her head, casting him a disapproving look. "No, no, no, Sebastian. I didn't raise you to be like that." _You didn't raise me_, Sebastian thought bitterly, but Edna continued, interrupting his train of thoughts. "… We always have a choice, dear" she insisted, repeating those heavy, strong words from her interview that only now Sebastian was grasping.

Something stung on Sebastian's chest. For the first time in a long time, Sebastian felt ashamed of himself. Not guilty, not resented. Ashamed. He shouldn't resent his father – he should resent himself, for not being brave enough to disobey him.

"You're right" Sebastian observed, perplexed. "Wow" he breathed out, incredulous. "I've become such a whinier" he almost chuckled, sarcastically.

"No, hun" Edna cut him, "you just resigned yourself. You settled for less than you deserve" she explained with a _kind _tone, and Sebastian felt grateful for it, because her eyes looked still contrastingly heavy on thoughts. "But you still have a choice. You always have" she reminded him.

The nod on Sebastian's throat loosened up a little. Instead, there was anxiety again. It all came down to the same conversation he had had with Kurt a few weeks ago: leaving his grandfather's apartment (and his safety net), getting a job and starting to figure out what he wanted to do with his life.

"I can't just- throw everything away, grandma" Sebastian argued, more with himself than with his grandmother, actually. "I mean" he shook his head, "I don't even know what I'd do differently" he admitted, more regained now. Even exasperated.

_Yes_, he was a mess. So what? Couldn't he embrace that? Own it? "I'm just a mess right now" he blurted out, chuckling with sarcasm.

Edna didn't find his arrogant, sarcastic mask funny. Sebastian wondered is his self-pity party was showing that much. "We all are, Sebastian. But we've got to deal with it, honey, not look the other way."

Sebastian couldn't help but feel irritated. Edna was right. In a lot of ways, actually. Because she had always been a mess herself, as far as he remembered, so why did she think she had the right to bug him off now, exactly?

"The difference's I'm still young, Edna. I've still got time to figure it out" he bit back, maybe a little more coldly than he had intended.

His coldness didn't go unnoticed by Edna, though. The woman sighed and got up, shaking her head. "I didn't raise you to be like this, Sebastian" she repeated, and this time Sebastian didn't contain himself.

"You're right: you didn't raise me" he mumbled without looking at her, but regretted it as soon as he dared do so and noticed Edna's eyes getting sadder.

Edna casted him one last look. "Sebastian, resentment didn't take anybody too far. Remember that. Don't fill your heart up with negative feelings. How's that any good for you?"

They stared at each other silently for a few seconds. An apology was already creeping up Sebastian's throat, but somehow his pride was getting in the way of it. Edna walked away.

/

Ever since Sebastian had got up that morning, he hadn't really made a single conscious decision about anything. He had been letting himself go guided by sudden realisations, revelations even, or just urges to keep moving and stay away from pre-med and that apartment.

So naturally, he didn't question much his choices when he found himself at the door of _The four feathers_ magazine department. It was a small classroom, really; not much bigger than that. But there were computers, people gathered around tables eating Cheetos, some others even arguing while writing down sentences on the blackboard. Everyone looked passionate and busy: that was Sebastian's first impression.

Second was… everyone was actually _so busy_ and _so into their own thing_ that they didn't even notice his presence. Which felt… _welcoming_, somehow.

Soon enough, he spotted Jim at what it looked like the biggest or main desk of the classroom. For a moment there, Sebastian even thought the boy looked like the editor. The one in charge. As Sebastian got closer to Jim's desk, it became quite evident that the boy was, in fact, the editor.

"Jim?" He had to ask after clearing his throat, because the boy was typing non-stop on his computer.

All Sebastian got in response was a distracted groan. Jim, the timid guy who blushed every time Sebastian did as much as acknowledging his presence, had actually just groaned at him. Like Sebastian was actually bothering him, and he was too hooked up on what he was writing.

Sebastian couldn't help but find it funny, and soon enough he was smirking and placing himself behind Jim, to take a good look at what the boy was writing. It had to be good. _Real_, at least.

Which surprised Sebastian the most was that he could completely relate to Jim's state. He had often found himself just as immersed while writing, getting to the point of skipping even some meals. It was a state in which he forgot about everything. He ceased to exist, if that didn't sound too tragic. Because it wasn't; he just became his words instead, and writing became living.

"We have another Benavides fan here" Sebastian murmured almost unconsciously, making Jim startle. Sebastian was starting to get a little tired at the hype this Broadway kid was creating. Maybe he should go see him in _Newsies_ before he ended his run with the play.

Jim turned to look at Sebastian then, whose head was now slightly above Jim's shoulders. Sebastian observed with amusement Jim's reaction. The boy was so gone that it actually took him a few seconds to recognise him.

"Sebastian!" He finally said, acknowledging his presence. Jim looked around then. "When…? How…?" He babbled, confused.

Sebastian took a little bit of distance then. He shouldn't have poked his nose on Jim's business. But sometimes he just couldn't help himself.

"I asked around to find out where you guys met" Sebastian explained, shrugging. "I wanted to tell you: I interviewed my grandma" he lifted his notepad, for visual help.

Jim looked still puzzled, but his eyes tickled with excitement at that. "You're gonna do the piece?" He asked with caution, as if he didn't want to give in to joy too soon.

Sebastian smiled in return. "If you want me to. I'm guessing you're the editor."

"Yeah" Jim breathed out, visibly _relieved_. Sebastian couldn't help the guilt that crept up his chest. The boy had already told him last week that they were on a deadline. "I mean- that'd be great, yeah- don't get me wrong, it's just that…" Jim gave him a nervous smile, then scratched his nape. "We're printing tonight" he chuckled, probably feeling as dumb as Sebastian was.

"Tonight?" Sebastian repeated, perplexed. "_Shit_, I mean…" he panicked momentarily. "I haven't even started on it" he admitted.

Jim bit the inside of his mouth, with a thoughtful expression. "You've got anything to do right now?" He asked, tentatively.

Sebastian smirked. The irony of the situation. He actually had no clue anymore. Did he have anything to do today? Tomorrow, even? He chuckled, sarcastically, gaining a confused look from Jim. _I literally have nothing to do_.

"Just Theatre meeting later" Sebastian said instead. He wasn't feeling like being _that _honest just yet.

Jim nodded, obviously aware of that fact, since he attended Theatre Club himself. "Okay" he got up, "you can work over here" he commented, taking Sebastian to one of the empty desks of the classroom. Truth was, there was more than a few. "I've got earplugs if you can't block out the noise" he casted Sebastian an apologetic smile, pointing vaguely with his hand to the boys and girls writing on the blackboard.

Sebastian shook his head. "That's okay. I like a little bit of noise" he smiled, shrugging.

"Oh – we have plenty of that around here" Jim chuckled, timidly. "Here" the boy plugged a USB device on the computer, opening a word document that read 'template sheet'. "At the top of the document you'll find some indications: font, size, maximum and minimum words count… Okay?" He asked Sebastian, who nodded in response out of instinct.

When nothing happened, and Jim didn't move a millimetre, Sebastian lifted his eyes to lock them with Jim's and he realised the boy was actually waiting for an honest answer. Like he needed to make sure Sebastian was following him.

"Sure" Sebastian nodded again, mostly to reassure him. "I've got it."

"I'd normally fix the typos and format stuff myself, but I've gotta end the piece on Benavides, so…" he casted Sebastian an apologetic smile.

"Relax" Sebastian insisted, giving him a genuine smile so the boy would actually believe him. "I've got this" he repeated, then added: "Thank you", not sure if out of manners or true gratitude. He felt grateful for the chance, but he wasn't so sure quite yet that he wasn't about to blow it.

"Okay" Jim breathed out, smiling. "See you in a bit" he announced, going back to his desk clumsily and almost tripping with a wire that laid on the floor.

Sebastian contained a chuckle and opened his notepad. He had some work to do. And it felt exciting.

/

Fortunately, Theatre Club _official_ meetings weren't as long as the clandestine ones – which should probably tell them something as to how very little Jeremy's leadership was helping.

Yet time didn't seem to run fast enough. Mostly, because Sebastian hadn't finished his grandma's piece for the magazine yet, but also, because he was witnessing some awkward, parallel and silent argument that had nothing to do with theatre.

Right onstage there were Jeremy, John, Katie and two other kids having an agitated debate about whether it was a good idea to keep postponing rehearsals until the Benavides kid came along. And Sebastian was feeling really sorry for Katie and the two others, because it looked like both John and Jeremy considered outrageous to start without the Broadway starlet.

And he would've jumped in to give her friend a hand, but his eyes'd got distracted with the, probably intentional, unkind way that Kyle had got up from his seat and ran to a corner of the small auditorium. The boy had sat down on some old stage prop and was now pretending to play or text on his cell phone. His constant glazing at Ezra and Jim's direction was giving him away, though.

_Fucking drama queen_, had been Sebastian's first thought. Then, Kyle had realised Sebastian's staring, and with a lock of their eyes Sebastian had regretted the thought. Kyle's resented, sad look was dangerously similar to the one that the boy had sported for more than a fair amount of weeks last year, when Sebastian had ditched him after one fuck.

Sebastian knew the resentment was not about him, not this time at least, but he couldn't bring himself to ignore something that felt awfully similar to guilt on his chest. "Fuck" he mumbled lowly, then got up and went to sit right beside the boy.

_One moody, dramatic teenager at a time_, he thought, because he was pretty sure that at some point Jim would be sporting this same kicked-puppy look Kyle was so shamelessly showing.

"Hey Kyle" Sebastian greeted him not too enthusiastically. Aiming at sounding amicable, mostly.

Kyle observed him with a guarded expression. "You need anything?" The boy blurted out, to Sebastian's surprise. His tone wasn't as angry as it was hurt, so Sebastian forced himself not to bite back harshly.

"Yeah" Sebastian said instead, deciding that if he was not to be harsh on the dramatic boy, he would at least be mischievous. Pep talks were not his thing, not really. "For that punk over there to get a bad herpes case and stop sticking his cock around." Sebastian knew he had sounded harsh anyway, but at least he had pointed vaguely with his head in Ezra's direction, making him the target of his anger instead of Kyle.

Kyle's eyes widened a little, unable to hide the surprise. "You mean Ezra?" Kyle asked anyway, probably taken aback for the hostility of Sebastian's words.

Sebastian winced. Even the name made him feel sick. He nodded then. "The guy's getting under my skin. First you and now Jim. I mean: can't he at least go after heartless guys like me?" He joked, trying to break the awkwardness.

That actually gained Sebastian a shocked smile from Kyle, who even giggled a little. "He's smarter than that, apparently" Kyle commented, eyes fixated again on said boy and its new prey, Jim.

"Ouch" Sebastian complained, playfully. "How long have you waited to spit that out?"

Kyle pulled his eyes from Ezra and Jim and smiled at Sebastian instead. "A while" he admitted with a chuckle.

Sebastian chuckled back and felt some of the tension from his day finally lifting from his shoulders.

"I wouldn't get too comfortable if I was you, though" Kyle added, after a companionable pause.

Sebastian arched an eyebrow at him. "What do you mean?"

"I'm pretty sure he's still after you. Just waiting for his moment to attack."

Sebastian couldn't contain a snort. "I can take care of myself just fine, Kyle. But thanks for the warning."

"Can Kurt?" Kyle answered right back, making Sebastian startle. The boy was giving him a cautious look. "He's a twisted, little fucker, you know" he explained, still watching Sebastian's reaction closely as if afraid that he would snap any moment.

But Sebastian wouldn't snap at that. Sure, he was surprised, but not as surprised as to actually worry or something. "Kurt can too. But now that I know that, I'll watch the little punk closely" he admitted, turning his gaze at Ezra. Soon enough it became a threatening glare, even if Ezra was too focused on Jim right that moment to even notice. "Thanks."

Kyle shrugged. "No problem. After all, you warned me first" Kyle chuckled, probably with sarcasm. "I was just too eager to get laid and dumped, I guess."

"Have you warned Jim?" It occurred to Sebastian that maybe Jim would be smart enough to stay away from that guy… Then heard said boy giggling like a fool at something Ezra had just whispered on his ear. Again, _maybe_.

"He has eyes, you know?" Kyle gave Sebastian a sad, crooked smile. "It's not like he hasn't been around to see what's happened."

"I thought you guys were friends" Sebastian let slip.

"We are" Kyle admitted patiently, though more with confliction than with exasperation at the obvious remark. "But he has never been too lucky with guys" he explained, understanding showing, "hell _you_ better than no one know that _I _haven't been too lucky either" Kyle chuckled, and Sebastian was surprised to find the comment rather honest, not awkward, "but he's always been smarter. He _is_ smarter."

"So he doesn't just hook up with anyone who gives him the time of the day, unlike us" Sebastian joked, feeling comfortable enough to do so.

"Yeah" Kyle chuckled. "You could say that. He's also really insecure… I wouldn't be surprised if Ezra got tired of the harmless flirting before something can actually happen" he commented, looking at his friend now with a sympathetic expression. "It's the hunt that's fucking exhausting to watch" he grumped, victimising himself more than Sebastian could take.

"Then don't watch, you fucking voyeur" Sebastian punched his shoulder, playfully, gaining a groan of pain from Kyle. "You know you deserved that. Enough with the pity-party!"

When Kyle gave him a childish, resented look Sebastian couldn't keep himself from sighing. "Come on" he got up, "let's grab a beer."

"A beer?" Kyle asked, suspicious, but mostly just surprised. "It's not even lunch time, Sebastian."

"And I have better things to do but I'm not being a bitch about it, c'mon!" Sebastian insisted, tugging at Kyle's arm to lift the boy.

"Fine, fine" Kyle gave in and got up, a little annoyed at the insults, probably. "What are we now?" He asked, expression full of pretended, but playful disdain, "_friends_?"

Sebastian punched him one last time. "Yup. Sucks for you."

/

Four beers later, lunch hour long gone, Sebastian almost jumped, then ran off the bar when seeing a text from Jim, reminding him that they were only two hours away from printing.

_Fuck_. The first time he was actually trying to do something useful of his life, and he was already screwing it. Sebastian damned himself and got to _The four feathers_ classroom about ten minutes later, hyperventilating.

Jim casted him a confused, yet concerned look when Sebastian walked right into his table, bumping his hip against the corner and exhaling a very loud groan of pain. In fact, everyone had looked at him then, finally acknowledging his presence, and Sebastian hadn't dared to pull his eyes from the computer after that. Not for a single moment. One could only take so much embarrassment.

As it was probably expected, when Jim came to Sebastian's desk asking for the piece, Sebastian hadn't finished it. He was only sentences away from doing so – he _knew_ it, he could almost feel it on the frantic taps of his fingertips on the keyboard. But those sentences wouldn't get written when someone was hovering him at his desk. Not even if cautiously, as it was Jim's case.

So Sebastian had no chance but to choke on an exasperated groan and looked up at Jim to say: "I need ten more minutes. And ten more to go over the typos."

He kept his face straight and his tone demanding, because he knew he could do this. He could, if only Jim would give him some space to hear himself think. Sebastian realised his expression should more certainly not be the kindest, he did, but like hell he would care now. He didn't even work in there. He was doing Jim a favour, and Jim needed to cooperate.

Somehow those four beers were making him an angry drunk now. That was why he was surprised to hear in response: "Sure. I'll get some coffee", followed by Jim actually leaving Sebastian's desk.

Sebastian looked at Jim surprised, but mostly relieved. Relieved and grateful, because he really wanted to do this – whether he worked in there or not.

Coffee helped sober him up if only a little. It took him more than twenty minutes to end the whole thing nevertheless. When Sebastian finally felt satisfied with his piece, though, he startled to realise that more than forty five minutes had passed, and he was alone now with Jim, who was patiently waiting sitting on his desk, chin rested on his palm and an expression of distraction.

Sebastian shook off the guilt he felt coming and jumped up his chair, hurrying to handle Jim over the USB device the boy had let him borrow earlier.

Jim took it, silently, then threw it on the table with a heavy sigh. "Okay. Thanks."

Sebastian was caught off guard by his serious, almost hostile tone, and couldn't spare the boy a stare. _What was that about?_

"Is everything okay?" Sebastian softened almost instinctively. Something told him he was the responsible for Jim's apathy. "Did anything happen…?"

Jim looked up at him, then chuckled bitterly. "_Nothing_ happened" he stated, almost with authority. "We missed the deadline, and _nothing_ got printed tonight."

Somehow, it wasn't Jim's (now obvious) anger what surprised Sebastian the most. _Tonight_ was the word that had really caught his attention, making him check the hour and noticed this was the first time that dinner time came without having him checking the watch every fucking minute in a long time. He had truly enjoyed himself while writing, though it was pretty obvious that it had been at Jim's expense.

Sebastian scratched his nape, awkwardly, the alcohol on his system making him still a little unbalanced while being on his feet. "I'm sorry, man. Isn't there anywhere else we can go print now?"

"_Man_" Jim repeated, stretching the word. It seemed almost as if he was amused by the sound or something. Jim shook his head, puckering his lips in what it looked like a tense grimace. "I was warned, you know?" He chuckled again, with that bitter hint that made Sebastian's throat get a little closed up with guilt. "Against _you_, I mean" the boy didn't bother to hide, even pointing at Sebastian momentarily for visual help, as if they weren't the only ones left on the classroom. Sebastian, though tempted to interrupt him, kept listening to him attentively.

"I don't know what I'm gonna tell everybody tomorrow" Jim sighed. "Everyone worked really hard on this number" the boy explained, and for a moment it felt like Jim was talking to someone else, not Sebastian. Someone that just happened to come by there right that moment, which felt weirdly distant, and made Sebastian feel even worse.

Sebastian would totally disagree to that, though, in normal circumstances, because he was pretty sure he hadn't seen anyone typing on his computer in all day, except for Jim and him.

"Which is, fair enough, a lot to deal with as it is; but now on top of that, I've gotta explain this to the NYU Press Council – and we are a magazine on a probation license, if you know what I mean. It was hard enough to borrow a classroom, let alone get the grant for the printing that we just sent to waste tonight."

_Shit_. The booze was definitely brushing off Sebastian, making him feel more and more aware of every single word that Jim said. Jim, the timid guy Jim, the boy that probably had just let him do a piece because he found Sebastian attractive, the same boy that sounded now detached and _freaking_ upset. Shamelessly upset. And Sebastian couldn't blame him.

Which seemed more ironic about it all was the fact that Sebastian hadn't been able to finish the piece on time because he had, for once, tried to be a friend for Kyle. Which was so unlike him, to do something like that, but Sebastian had made it his duty. Something he _owed_ Kyle.

"Jim, I-" Sebastian cleared his throat, startled by how dry and shaky his voice had just sounded, "I'm sorry" he said, more firmly now. Jim looked at him, expression unaltered, and Sebastian realised just then how defeated the boy looked. "Let me fix this" Sebastian said then, driven by that same need to do things right he had felt earlier with Kyle. "I think I might have a solution – hold on."

He took out his cell phone while Jim's expression didn't change in the least. The boy simply shrugged and folded his arms, then looked up at the ceiling, tiredness settling on his features.

Sebastian, meanwhile, had dialled Kurt's number. Kurt answered after two rings only, and Sebastian hurried to talk before the boy could even say anything:

"Kurt- can't believe I'm gonna say this, but please tell me you're still at work" Sebastian said under his breath, a little nervous with anticipation.

"Well hello, my kind sir" Kurt chuckled, lively. "That I am. What is your concern?" He was pronouncing with affection, probably mimicking some old, British character's accent from that annoying, boring show he loved so much.

"Look. It's a long story, but I need to print a magazine" Jim's eyes fixed on him at that, a little startled. "Please tell me you can help" Sebastian pleaded, feeling a little desperate.

Kurt's response was a fair one, but that didn't mean Sebastian feel less irritated. The boy chuckled under his breath, surprised. "Are you serious?" Kurt asked with amusement from the other end of the line.

Sebastian groaned, containing his exasperation. "No, Kurt" he said with sarcasm, "I'm just phone-pranking now for a living- _OF COURSE I'm serious!_" He screamed a little, then took a deep breath to calm himself down. After all, the situation he had got Jim and his magazine in was his fault only, not Kurt's.

Fortunately, Kurt was used to his bad manners. "Jeez, calm down, you idiot," Kurt bit back, his tone getting lower, "I had the phone on speaker, dumbass!"

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "How am I supposed to know that… gayface?" He just had to add – although, he had to admit to himself, he was getting slower with insults when it came to Kurt.

Kurt groaned, annoyed, infected with Sebastian's exasperation. "You don't. You just talk like normal people, chipmunk."

Sebastian sighed. "Okay. Now that we exchanged our daily dose of insults," Sebastian noticed Jim was giving him an almost scandalised expression, "can you please, _please_ help me out here… please?" He added, if only to force some niceness on the whole thing. Jim looked quite perplexed still.

Kurt hummed along the wire. "_Hu. He says 'please' three times and he thinks I'm gonna leave everything and go to his rescue_" Kurt commented, gaining a chuckle from someone.

"Who are you talking to?" Sebastian inquired, slightly annoyed. Then thought it better and got impatient. "Never mind- you're gonna help me or not?"

"_Yeah, he's the dummiest of dummies_" Kurt was still chuckling with someone else. "Of course I'm gonna help you" he thankfully added, otherwise Sebastian could've hung up on him already. "You gotta come over here, though. And bring some… _cash_" Kurt whispered really low, probably worried that someone would hear him, "_in case some bribing is needed_."

"Thank God" Sebastian breathed out, relieved. "Couldn't you really say that first, you evil plotter?"

Kurt chuckled, not even arguing anymore. "No when you're being a spoiled, little meerkat about it no" he said softly, playful.

"Whatever" Sebastian rolled his eyes. "We'll be there in ten."

"_We_?" Kurt asked, a little startled. "Um- Sebastian, you're working for the mob now or something?" Kurt chuckled.

"Like the mob would politely ask you to let them use your printer" Sebastian scoffed, slightly amused.

"Yes. This was the most polite conversation I've ever had with you. You're right" Kurt commented no subtle on sarcasm.

"Ask him how many copies we can print" Jim said then, looking visibly more recovered from his earlier blues.

"Oh. Right, um-… Babe?" Sebastian tried to soften. "Needless to say, a copy won't do."

"… How many copies are we talking about?" Kurt asked after a long, tense pause.

_Crap_. "Jim? How many?" Sebastian asked, almost scared himself.

"First run is always fifty. For the second one we've still got time" Jim explained, though his tone was slowly getting back to his normal guard, shy self. Sebastian figured the boy could still use some of his new founded confidence in his anger, but well. The timid guy made him feel less bad, so he wouldn't complain.

"Fifty?" Kurt repeated, who apparently had heard Jim. "Bas you scared me" the boy said, relief audible on his tone. "That's harmless."

"Great!" Sebastian smiled at Jim, then back at Kurt, though the boy couldn't see him. "Awesome, babe. You just saved my ass."

/

"… You realise the magazine's still getting reported, right? I mean- this was a nice gesture, and I truly thank you b-"

"Why the hell didn't you print it before then?" Sebastian cut him, because he had frozen at '_reported_'. He damned himself again, yeah, but he also damned Jim, who appeared to be frozen now too. "I mean it, you know" he tried to soften it, "no one forced you to wait until my piece was done."

Jim looked down, upset, which was a change (Sebastian noticed) because usually the boy looked down when he was embarrassed about something.

"We- we have a-" Jim mumbled, nervously. Sebastian sighed, impatiently, which made the boy snapped his head and looked at him with a look that said equally 'wounded pride' and 'integrity'. "We have a minimum to cover, okay?" he articulated this time, more clearly.

Sebastian arched an eyebrow at him, confused. "What does that mean?"

"It means…" Jim said, slightly less confident now but pretty strong still, "that without your piece we wouldn't have made the cut. The minimum length."

Sebastian took that in. _Well_, he couldn't really say he was surprised. He had been there and seen what a few people were working there. He suddenly realised it couldn't have been easy for Jim, waiting for Sebastian to come and write the piece on the last minute.

"Wait. But you had a backup plan for my section, right?" He asked, although he was pretty sure he knew the answer.

Jim scratched his nape. "I would've come up with one if you hadn't shown up today" he said, less confidently yet. "It's not like I had time before – I already had to cover for some other sections…" he mumbled, looking down again.

"Oh." Sebastian really didn't know what to say then, how to make it better. It sounded like running up a magazine was harder than it looked like, even if it was just one from NYU. What embarrassed him the most was that he hadn't even read the copy he had borrowed from Jim almost one week ago. So he couldn't really make an opinion on why people weren't joining the team.

"You really needed my piece, didn't you?" He asked instead, rhetorically mostly.

Jim simply nodded, then turned around again and got back to the copies. "Anyway. This will be a nice, last reward for everyone" he said, sounding more optimistic and caring. "I'm glad I can give the guys _this_, at least" he shot Sebastian a kind smile, "thanks."

Sebastian's insides begged to differ. He didn't feel like being thanked, not really. Not when he had ruined the magazine's future.

"Hey, who'd tell the Press Council that we didn't actually print those copies in their… facilities?" A not very pleasant idea was getting shape on Sebastian's mind, but he supposed he had no other choice.

"We had the big printer reserved" Jim simply said, innocently, as if that explained it all.

Sebastian contained a sigh. "No, what I asked is _who_ knew we had it reserved and therefore could report us" he emphasised.

Jim stopped piling the printed copies and turned around to look at Sebastian with widened eyes. "Why?" He asked with slight suspicion, never too aggressive as it was his fashion.

Sebastian actually sighed this time. "Just tell me who that is."

Jim narrowed his eyes at him. "Why?"

Sebastian scoffed. "Damn it, just tell me who that is so I can fix this!"

Jim's features didn't hide his surprise. "But- ho-how…" he stuttered nervously, probably getting an idea of what Sebastian implied. "How would you fix that?"

"You don't need to know that" Sebastian winked. "Just know that your magazine won't lose the grant or the license, okay? I'll fix it and hopefully we'll put this _really_ dreadful day behind us…"

Sebastian couldn't really put his finger on it, but he thought Jim actually looked disappointed at that, rather than reassured, which made no sense, if he had got everything right. "What?" He couldn't help but ask.

Jim shrugged. "Oh- nothing" he lied, but Sebastian was on to him, and his heavy stare on the boy did probably the trick. "I just thought you might come write with us every month" he admitted, "I mean, most of us go every day, but it's not really necessary."

_Oh_. Sebastian didn't know what to say to that. It'd definitely been quite a day, quite an adventure, but… well if he really was serious about dropping out school, he was pretty sure that might conflict engaging on any extracurricular activities. _Oh_, and as he realised right now, that probably meant quitting Theatre Club too.

Thankfully, Kurt chose that moment to reappear.

"Hey, how is it going?" He was wearing his light coat now and had his laptop case hanging on his shoulder, which meant he was done for the day. Sebastian checked the watch. It was _freaking_ half past nine.

"I'd complain about your schedules if it hadn't actually saved us tonight" Sebastian grumped, "or if it was worth the try."

Kurt gave him a crooked smile. "Don't be like that. I was gonna buy you dinner… both of us, actually" Kurt added, looking at Jim now, "I'm guessing you hadn't been fed yet, am I right?"

Jim smiled shyly in return. "Pretty much."

Kurt nodded, then came closer to Sebastian and observed the printing machine. "Well, are we any close to wrapping up?"

"… Last copy" Sebastian showed him, then handled it over to Jim, who piled them with the others and pushed into an already overloaded folder, containing the rest of the copies.

"Great" Kurt said, a mix of excitement and tiredness on his voice, "shall we go now, boys? So you can explain to me what all the printing was about, hmm?" He asked Sebastian this last bit, intrigued.

Sebastian winked at Kurt. _Yeah_, there would be a lot of explaining tonight, he feared.

/

Sometimes Sebastian could just swear that karma had a funny way to get back at him.

Not that he considered 'John' the mean that karma would use to get back at him, but oh… maybe he did, given the fact that Kurt was around too.

Destiny had found it amusing to put all of them in the same place for dinner. It was just some pizza place, not fancy, not too crowded… the kind of place Sebastian had never been to and therefore he was positive he wouldn't come across anyone there.

As destiny had it, they ended up sharing a table with John, Andy, Katie and Amy. Amy's presence was what surprised him the most, because as far as he knew, Amy didn't hang out with John anymore, not since she had broken up with him.

Obviously, though, it wasn't Amy what had Sebastian almost jumping on his seat constantly during dinner. Not even John. It was, inevitably, Andy. Even if the boy was silent and acting timidly.

Sebastian's grip on Kurt's arm was tighter than necessary, as Kurt's furtive glares kept telling him. However, Kurt didn't shake his grip away, which only encouraged Sebastian to think that he was doing a good job playing the fool, territorial, possessive boyfriend.

"Well, let's hear it then, shall we?" John raised his plastic cup, filled with soda, and looked right at Sebastian with a funny expression. "To Sebastian and his newly found love for journalism" he chuckled then.

Sebastian rolled his eyes at him, but everyone raised his cup, and repeated: "To Sebastian", and Kurt's little "yay" made really hard for him to get back at John for his idiotic commentary.

"Now that you're a journalist, Seb" John continued, smirk now at full display, "what can we expect from you?" he inquired, getting all hopeful-like. "Will you dismantle the kale contraband network going under NYU's cafeteria? 'Cause I'm telling you – there ain't no way they can have so much freaking kale every freaking day of the week."

Sebastian had to keep himself from chuckling, because he needed to make things clear with his 'recently found love for journalism', which wasn't such, and he needed to make it now.

"Ha ha. That's enough, John" he said sarcastically. "You can expect a punch in the face, that's what, if you don't stop saying stupid things like that" Sebastian glare-warned him.

"Well for starters – it's a literary magazine" Kurt intervened. _Well, that wasn't my point_, Sebastian thought, but didn't interrupt him. "I don't think people would appreciate a piece on kale in it, but if you're oh so built up about this, I'm sure Jim could make place for you and a monthly column, you know? 'The kale column'" the boy bit back, making even Sebastian startle.

It had been a while since he had seen bitchy Kurt talking as shamelessly as that, and Sebastian had to admit… it was kind of _hot_. Well, _sweet_, it was actually sweet too, because he had gone on full bitch-mode just to defend Sebastian's honour. _Aw_.

There was a fair share of laughs and jokes after that, but Sebastian was too distracted by Kurt's prickled nose. Would the boy get mad at him if he bit it in front of everyone? It was _so_ calling for it…

Kurt's cheeks turned slightly redder and he slowly turned his head to look cautiously at Sebastian. He whispered: "You're thinking about biting my nose. Aren't you?"

Sebastian nodded, amused, and brought him a little bit closer. "Can I?" He bit down on his own lip, expectantly.

Kurt sighed, looking truly defeated. "I appreciate you asking first, I guess." He closed his eyes tightly then, as if scared of the soreness that would follow on his skin.

Sebastian regarded him feeling twistedly moved. Being given permission like this was just too much of turn on for him…

A sudden sharp laughter he hadn't heard in a while (Amy's) reminded him that they weren't alone, so he opted for just closing his lips on Kurt's nose, instead of biting it.

Kurt opened his eyes surprised. "That was weirdly PG of you" the boy joked, nevertheless bringing a hand to his nose to rub it, on a habit. "Do I have sugar in my nose now?"

It took Sebastian two seconds to get the mock, his face going from frowning to a pleased smirk. "Just be thankful that my saliva is all you've got on it so far."

Kurt's cheek got a new shade of purple red and the boy rushed to grab his cup of diet soda. Sebastian couldn't help but wet his lips in anticipation of the spectacle of seeing Kurt's marble throat doing his magic to gulp down the liquid. The way its muscles moved… _damn_.

Kurt observed his cup with panic, though. "Um- uh… Could I- borrow yours?" He asked, awkwardly, looking for Sebastian's cup on the table.

Sebastian bit his lip, amused. He was holding it with his own hand. "Here" he said, intentionally hoarse.

Kurt looked at him a little shocked, observing the way Sebastian lifted his plastic cup as in saying 'let me do it for you'. Which was exactly what Sebastian had in mind.

"I think I can handle taking a sip myself, you know…" Kurt told him, a little more regained and folding his arms.

"You always say you can handle stuff, Kurt… and I always end up giving you a hand, don't I?" Sebastian smirked, tone slightly louder now.

As if panicked that people would pay attention to their awkward, rough flirting, Kurt casted him a 'shut up!' glare and came forwards mumbling. "Fine."

Sebastian placed his hand on Kurt's neck then and hid his fingers on the nape. Kurt watched his movement with uncomfortable expectation. Unwilling to prolong the other boy's suffering, Sebastian took pity on him and brought the cup to Kurt's lips, letting him drink.

As Kurt finished, Sebastian brought his thumb to catch a couple of drops that were making its way down the corners of Kurt's lips. Kurt's expression was less uncomfortable now, he noticed.

"That was just gross" John complained, throwing Sebastian a fry. "Get a room already."

As if challenged by that, Kurt's bitchy resolution made the boy grab Sebastian's neck and pull him closer for a kiss.

It was a deepening, heated kind of kiss, and Sebastian didn't hesitate to give Kurt's tongue permission to explore his mouth. _Damn_. And he was the one who was a bit of a show-off, _right_. Not that he was close to complain about it.

A little frustrated groan escaped his lips when Kurt pulled back just a few seconds later, satisfied.

"Now _that_ was gross" Kurt clarified, taking the cup from Sebastian's hands and drinking from it mindlessly. He was smiling already at Sebastian when his eyes got a glimpse of something that made him put the cup down and puckered his lips. Or someone.

Sebastian frowned, but then looked back at the same spot and took in Andy's awkward expression. The boy looked really, really uncomfortable.

"Okay, that's it" John joked, throwing up his hands in defeat, "I'm going gay. I just have to" he chuckled, then set eyes on Jim. "Jim, what do you say you and I give it a go?" He winked, amused.

Poor Jim blushed, and chuckled nervously. "Sure, John. Just say the word" he tried to say playfully.

"Oh I'm saying it, babe" John got up, not one to back down from a challenge, even if it was a joke.

Jim took a firm grasp on the table, a little outraged by that, and Sebastian couldn't contain a chuckle.

"Cocky up. He won't be able to keep it up much longer" Sebastian whispered to Jim, staring at John defiantly.

"Oh I forgot" John stopped midway and turned around to go back to his seat. "Jim's tak-" John stared at Sebastian, defiance now on his eyes as much as there was humour, but Sebastian glared hard at him. If John was about to say as much as 'taken', he was gonna regret it _so, so _bad…

Sebastian noticed Kurt tensing up under his hold. Cautiously, he turned his gaze to observe him. The boy was chewing hard on the inside of his mouth and looking between John and Sebastian with a pissed off expression. _Fucking John! _Obviously the slip hadn't gone unnoticed by Kurt.

Fortunately, Jim seemed to find his tongue right then. "You're a jerk, John. Not that I'd ever take you otherwise, but I'm not _taken_" the boy shook his head. "If you're talking about Ezra, we're not together, as much as everyone likes to think."

Kurt frowned and looked at Jim then, but didn't say anything.

"Well, can't blame a guy for being cautious" John smiled, breaking the tension. "Wouldn't want to be where Ezra's been before."

Andy choked on his drink then, causing everyone to look at him.

"Oh, not you too, Andy" John said with a grimace. "The guy's disgusting. I've got a theory, you know?" John's tone acquired that slightly mocking hint that told Sebastian he was just pretending to be serious. "I believe Ezra's made it a goal of his to sleep with every single guy Sebastian's slept before, since Sebastian won't have him." Kurt looked at Sebastian then, not hiding his outrage. "A little desperate, if you ask me. And a huge amount of work if I'm not mista-"

"Would you fucking shut up already, John?!" Sebastian snapped, rubbing his temples with frustration.

"He can't, because he's an asshole" Katie stood up then, with an expression of hurt Sebastian couldn't quite get. How was any of this affecting her? "What is wrong with you?" She asked John then, eyeing him with both resentment and utter confusion.

John's face finally showed some confliction. It was brief, though, because soon enough he had recovered all his mockery. "Sorry, Kurt" he said then, looking at Kurt not too seriously. "I just like bashing on Sebastian. It's not personal, honey."

Kurt regarded him a little surprised, then regarded Katie, who was standing there with her coat in hands, eyeing John like she couldn't believe it. "I don't really think it's me you need to apologise to" the boy mumbled, a little softened by Katie's state.

"We're leaving too" Sebastian stood up, grabbing Kurt's satchel and their coats. "I can give you a lift, Katie" he told the girl.

Katie nodded, casting him a grateful smile.

"Oh, could I...?" Jim started, getting up too. "I mean – we live in the same dorm" he explained, pointing at Katie with her head.

Sebastian hesitated for a moment. Suddenly Kurt didn't look so comfortable around Jim anymore. Maybe he hadn't quite bought Jim's explanation about Ezra. But maybe he was just upset, in general, for John's awful behaviour.

"Sure, man" Sebastian assured him, placing his hand on the small of Kurt's back with caution. He wouldn't risk pissing him off any further.

/

The ride home had been unusually silent. As soon as they had dropped Katie and Jim off, Kurt had taken it on looking out the window, ignoring Sebastian's presence.

In his defence, Sebastian hadn't really attempted at breaking the silence. It had been quite a day, and John's stupid slips were the least of his problems.

Sebastian got out the bathroom to find Kurt all spread over his bed, wearing his PJs and lying face down, holding the weight of his upper half on his elbows. Such posture gave Sebastian a _damn_ good perspective of his butt, but quite frankly Sebastian was too distracted trying not to feel embarrassed by the fact that the boy was reading Jim's magazine; probably, Sebastian's piece.

"Bas… you wrote such a wonderful piece" Kurt murmured quietly, turning his face to see Sebastian standing under the curtains, uncertain whether to come in or not. "It's a little sad, but… it's beautiful."

Kurt was smiling at him, giving a warm, fond smile that used to make Sebastian freak out not so long ago. Now, it had reassured him somehow.

"Yeah?" He asked nevertheless, feeling dumb enough. "I mean- you liked it?"

Kurt sifted in bed to sit now on his knees, facing Sebastian completely. "Yeah" he smiled again, more brightly.

Sebastian returned the smile, awkwardly, but didn't dare to move an inch. He stood there, feeling a little exposed after all.

Kurt's smile turned cautious, probably detecting Sebastian's uncertainty. "Come here" Kurt encouraged him, softening his voice.

Sebastian finally reacted at that, though his steps towards bed were quite tentative and slow. When he came face to face with Kurt, just reaching the edge of the bed, he felt quite clueless for the first time in a long time. Because even if Kurt was more than a lover, even if the boy was, above all, his friend, Sebastian was a little green on that department too, having his best friend living in another continent and having subsisted on fuckbuddies half his teenage years.

So it was weird, for him, let himself be congratulated, complimented, by a sincere friend.

When it became quite obvious that Sebastian wasn't doing anything, just waiting for Kurt to say or do something, the blue-eyed boy wrapped his arms around him on a gentle hug.

"Are we okay?" Kurt whispered on his neck, where he placed a couple of fond, closed-mouth kisses.

Sebastian felt himself relax at the tickling of Kurt's lips on his bare skin. He tugged in Kurt's body, bringing it closer, and held his back firmly. He hid his nose on the crook of Kurt's neck and inhaled.

Lost on Kurt's warmth, he forgot about the question, but Kurt didn't bring it up again. Instead the boy kept holding him in silence, which was interrupted every now on then by the sound of Kurt's furtive smacks on his temples.

Eventually, the hug was broken, but only so Kurt could guide Sebastian to bed, grabbing his hand and helping him crawl to lay beside him.

Once there, as if Kurt could somehow sense that Sebastian wasn't feeling his dominant, confident, usual self, the boy snuggled up to him, resting Sebastian's head on his shoulder.

Sebastian looked up to him, and, without saying a word, Kurt combed his fingers through his hair, stroking it.

There were times when Sebastian couldn't really tell what made the difference; what made Kurt and him a couple, or what having a boyfriend meant.

Even if the night of "_the talk_", right when he came back from France, Kurt had assured him that nothing had to change between them, Sebastian suspected Kurt had said that not to push him.

And _now_ Sebastian found himself every now and then wondering if maybe he was missing something; something he wasn't aware _he_ had to do now that they were _boyfriends_. Because he didn't feel afraid of being pushed into something anymore.

Of course, they had admitted to loving each other, which was a huge step for Sebastian as it was. But somehow it was the tiniest gestures those Sebastian found himself observing more cautiously, more closely, as if the difference between being _fuckbuddies_ and _lovers_ resided on them.

For instance, there was the way Kurt waited for Sebastian's approval to initiate the most innocent of physical contacts when people were around, just in case Sebastian might not feel comfortable about it.

Then, there were _Kurt's hugs_, something Sebastian hadn't really discovered until recently, actually. Those were a distinctive sign that Kurt's affection had taken it to the next level with Sebastian since he was his _boyfriend_.

But mostly, Sebastian knew, it was the way Kurt showed him patience and understanding. The fact that the chance Kurt had taken on him never backed down any time Sebastian behaved as his incommunicative, shut-off self.

Those were all signs that Kurt's behaviour had changed. His gestures were heavier on significance every day. And Sebastian… Sebastian simply didn't know about his own. He had no clue what his gestures were, or should be, and that conflicted him more than he wanted to admit.

"Kurt?" He had to ask, when his inner monologue got interrupted by the soft, attentive way Kurt was looking at him now.

Kurt hummed in response and his smile got a tiny bit bigger, fonder.

"Could you…? Um- I mean," Sebastian paused, not really sure what he had wanted to ask in the first place. "What is…? You know. Um- _what do boyfriends do_?" He finally elaborated… _and _felt immediately embarrassed. Once the question was out he felt like a five year old asking his mother where babies came from. _Oh God_.

Kurt choked on a chuckle. "Wh-what do boyfriends do?" The boy repeated, a little incredulous.

"_God_- forget I even asked!" Sebastian hid his head on the pillow, awfully embarrassed. What the hell was he thinking? _What was that about?_

"No, no, hey! It's okay" Kurt patted his head comfortingly, "you just caught me a little off guard, sorry" the boy apologised, though Sebastian wouldn't dig up his head. "I just… don't know what you mean, honestly."

Sebastian released a deep sigh against the fabric of the pillowcase, trying to relax himself. _You asked, you idiot. Explain yourself_.

Kurt patted his back then. "Come on, Bas. Don't be embarrassed – I promise I'll tell you whatever you need to know, okay?"

Sebastian sighed again. He rolled his head a little, turning it to face Kurt, though not completely – just enough for his mouth to speak: "I don't know what I meant, Kurt. I was just thinking out loud" he protested. He didn't think he had felt this exposed in a while, and the reason for his current state felt so childish it was ridiculous.

Kurt raised an eyebrow at him. "No you weren't – you were asking me" he disagreed, though his tone was thankfully not combative.

They stared at each other for a moment, silently, probably both of them pounding their next words. To Sebastian's surprise though, Kurt chose to ignore they were waiting for Sebastian to elaborate.

The boy tugged him closer then, bringing a hand to cup his jaw. "You know… when we started seeing each other, back in April, I kept asking myself: _what do hook ups do? _'Cause everything felt so confusing…" Kurt smiled at him, timidly, and for once tonight Sebastian saw his vulnerability mirrored on Kurt's eyes, and it relaxed him. "So I asked you, remember? And you said there wasn't like- a _standard_ attitude you adopted, and that you respected whatever I wanted to do or feel."

Kurt's thumb was caressing his cheek now, soothingly, and Sebastian felt slightly guilty because he doubted he had said that to Kurt with such delicacy.

"I've gotta admit though…" Kurt looked down, with a crooked smile, "I feel a little silly, not realising before that you might be feeling now just as lost when it comes to… relationships."

Sebastian lifted his head, willing to protest, because it was _so _Kurt-like to blame himself for every tiny bit of hesitation Sebastian felt. And it wasn't fair, and Sebastian wanted to point it out, but Kurt kept talking:

"To be honest, I did worry. I worried about how being loved for the first time might feel for you. Because… well, I still see what a struggle it supposes for you to let me in every day" Kurt whispered, with a sad, wary smile. "To let me love you. So I've been trying not to push it, I guess."

"Kurt- it's not… it's no struggle" Sebastian tried to protest, but somehow he doubted he was sounding too convincing, if Kurt's still wary smile was any sign. "I mean it. It's _you_ that I'm worried about."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you know… I asked you what boyfriends do, because I have no clue if I'm doing anything right at all-" Kurt looked potentially willing to object so Sebastian grabbed his shoulder, "No, let me finish, please. I think I- kind of keep waiting for something to change? Between us, you know? I keep waiting to behave differently around you, but… it doesn't happen. And I've seen it: with my friends, with your boss, _hell_ even with Santana. I keep behaving the same!" He protested, his mind wandering back to all the times he had screwed up by now when talking to these people in front of Kurt. "What am I missing, Kurt? Just, _please_, tell me… Otherwise I don't think I'll ever be able to do this thing right."

Kurt looked quite taken aback. "But Bas… you're not missing anything" the boy murmured, trying to sooth him.

"But I am, Kurt" Sebastian insisted, a little tiredly. "You know, it was _so easy_ to bewilder you when it was just about sex" he shook his head, frustrated. "I could see it in your eyes, you know? The way I shocked you with my words, with my touches…" He recalled, a little nostalgic. "But now? What good is _that_ now? You've outgrown that. And I- I don't know what else I can give you."

"When was it just about sex, Sebastian?" Kurt asked, choosing to ignore the rest of his words. He looked slightly hurt, though cautious. "Now you _are _bewildering me, because it was never just about sex for me."

"That was… that was just a way to put it, Kurt. I didn't mean it like that."

"It's not your touch or your flirts that makes me fall for you, Sebastian" Kurt sat up slightly, looking down. And Sebastian couldn't help but notice the present tense. "I really hope that's not what you think, because it would… _kill me_ a little – to be honest."

Sebastian wanted more than anything to reassure Kurt, to tell him that he had nothing to worry about; that he hadn't meant that. That he knew why Kurt had fallen in love with him, but… the harder he tried to come up with some reason, or explanation to back himself up, the further he felt from finding it.

He hoped his face didn't mirror his struggle, because it certainly would only make things worse, and Kurt looked hurt enough as it was. But seconds kept running and he wasn't saying anything, and he couldn't control the way Kurt would interpret the silence. What if the boy kept imagining the worst?

"It's not" he simply said, after a while. His mind was getting a little foggy. It had been such an intense day… and to think he hadn't even told Kurt the half of it yet.

"I know" Kurt whispered, putting his hand over Sebastian's, on bed. "But sometimes you make it really hard for me to know that" he admitted, searching for Sebastian's eyes now. "Don't you get tired of that, Bas?" He asked, tentatively. "Don't you get tired of thinking that little of yourself?" He reformulated, somewhat uncertain. "'Cause I love everything about you" he stared right at Sebastian, making his chest flinch dangerously. "Everything…"

"Kurt…" Sebastian came closer, grabbing his thighs. "I- I just meant you don't have to feel afraid to push me anymore. I need you to show me, you know? I need to learn how to do this relationship thing. I know I'm a brag and all, but… show me how lovers touch. How they kiss. 'Cause I-… I feel like I haven't really changed my ways. Not really."

"Bas, you- you've always treated me with care. Ever since we started this. That's why I was so conflicted when we started hooking up… Because it always felt intimate, and truthful…"

"It did?" Sebastian asked, fighting the urge to be so _damn _insecure about it.

"Yeah" Kurt confirmed, a little breathless. "I mean… didn't it feel like that for you too?" He asked, vulnerably.

Sebastian squeezed Kurt's hand then. Suddenly that was all the physical contact he could bring himself to give. He knew Kurt was right. He knew they had always shared something more than just touches. That Kurt's shows of affection had _always_ felt genuine for him.

Yet he felt like he needed to take some steps back here. His whole life screamed change today. But, when it came to Kurt, it screamed much more. It screamed 'appreciation', it screamed 'self-love', it screamed 'respect'.

And he needed to learn how to put all those emotions on his touch, on his kisses, on his whole body. He needed to learn how to read them properly, rather than just going for _it_ whenever Kurt and he fucked.

He felt almost grateful that he had been able to read some of these things on their intimate encounters before, because he hadn't really been paying attention. Now, though, he wanted. He wanted to listen carefully to it, and to do things right.

Maybe, if he learned how to handle Kurt's love, if he learned how to use his body to reciprocate the love and to take it, then he might also learn how to treat himself in the process. Maybe it was too hopeful, too wistful, but something kept pulling him towards this decision.

"Could you show me, then…" Sebastian finally gathered the guts to ask, "… what boyfriends do?"

This time Kurt didn't protest or argue with him. "Yeah" the boy whispered, his breathing slightly affected.

Sebastian nodded, observing their linked hands, resting on the mattress. Kurt's thumb was drawing smooth circles on his palm, reassuringly, but maybe also timidly.

"You wanna, um- you wanna lay down?" Kurt asked eventually, tentatively.

Sebastian raised his eyes then to meet Kurt's blue ones. He looked nervous, but also involved. Something about Kurt taking this seriously, about making him as nervous as Sebastian felt, was reassuring. It made Sebastian think that they were in _this_ together, just as clueless sometimes.

Sebastian nodded. "Sure. Remember you're calling the shots now" he gave Kurt a side smile, before laying down in bed.

Kurt answered with a smile of his own: shy, sweet, nervous. The boy slowly went to the end of the bed to take off Sebastian's shoes, undoing the laces and putting them with care on the floor. Sebastian felt strangely self-aware.

Kurt came closer then and, without letting go of Sebastian's stare, undid Sebastian's belt and zipper.

Sebastian was quite certain he would've found that extremely hot not so long ago. Now, somehow, it also felt intimate. Kurt's eyes on his own meant that he was asking for permission to undress Sebastian, nothing more.

When Kurt found no resistance, he started pulling the trousers down, to which Sebastian answered lifting his legs to help.

"You wanna borrow some sweatpants?" Kurt asked him, a little insecurely. "I mean, I know you normally sleep on your underwear but it's getting chilly and we don't have the best heating central" he smiled apologetically.

"Sure" Sebastian smiled, sitting up slightly. "Thank you."

Kurt got off bed and back in no time, bringing some worn-out sweatpants with him that Sebastian hadn't seen before. They looked too big for Kurt's size. Hell, they looked too big for Sebastian's size too.

"I don't think my PJs will fit you" Kurt explained, helping him to put 'em on. "Finn gave me these" he added, fondly, "he said it was cool exchanging clothes like brothers" he chuckled, "though he didn't look too happy when I gave him one of my scarfs."

Sebastian couldn't help but feel really aware of the cozy fabric of the sweatpants on his skin then. They had belonged to Finn once, and they had to be probably something Kurt treasured highly. Yet the boy had let him borrow 'em like it was no biggie. Something on his throat felt incredibly tight when the word 'trust' popped up on his mind.

Kurt was helping him out of his shirt then, and inside of a white, plain, stained T-shirt.

"Coffee?" He asked, observing the brown, ear-shaped stain. It was funny-looking.

"Milkshake" Kurt shook his head. "That was Sam's fault – I don't stain my clothes like that" he said, somewhat irritated.

Sebastian couldn't contain a small, amused smile. _Of course_. Kurt was way too careful with his clothes. Even if it was just a white T-shirt made to sleep in it. "You don't even sleep on this anymore, do you?" He couldn't keep himself from asking.

Kurt raised an eyebrow at him, dignified, then his puckered lips gave him away and just smile. "I do wear it sometimes" he protested, "… when I'm out of clean PJs."

"Which, if I know you well enough, hardly happens" Sebastian mocked him, and he was surprised to notice how easy was to go back to their usual dynamic. So easy that it almost made him forget what he had asked Kurt not even minutes ago and jumped on the boy if he kept giving him that 'guilty of charges' smile.

But he didn't. Sebastian controlled himself and decided to wait for Kurt to do something instead. He had meant it: Kurt called all the shots for now.

Kurt observed him amused, studying his expression. Sebastian wondered if the boy could read anything of what was going on in his mind right now.

"Lay down, then?" Kurt asked, more confidently this time.

Sebastian didn't even answer, he just got in bed and opened the covers, so Kurt could lay beside him.

Kurt snuggled up closer and looked for Sebastian's hand, intertwining fingers with him. They fell in an expectant silence, staring at each other with uncertainty.

"Why does this feel more real now than it felt two weeks ago?" Kurt asked rhetorically, not really waiting for Sebastian to come up with an actual answer, which Sebastian appreciated, because he was just as clueless. "Everything's happened so fast… it kind of feels nice slowing down a little" Kurt smiled, fondly.

"Slow sounds good to me now" Sebastian whispered, not daring to move an inch. "Wouldn't want to miss on anything" he said, then realised he had said something quite similar not long ago and Kurt hadn't taken it so well.

This time, though, thankfully, Kurt seemed to get it. "Me neither" he said, then closed the distance between them with a soothing brush of his lips over Sebastian's.

It almost felt like being asked if it was okay to kiss him. Sebastian found it so harmless that he almost felt like pressing in a little and telling Kurt that it was okay, that he didn't need to be so careful.

But then Kurt's hand came to rest on his cheek, so soft and caring, and his leg had so timidly found a way between Sebastian's own, that Sebastian's inner monologue immediately shut up and took appreciation of the touch instead.

It felt like Kurt's body wanted to send him a message: it didn't need to press itself against Sebastian's own, to mark his territory or to cover it overwhelmingly. It didn't. Kurt's body just needed the softest contact, the subtlest connection with Sebastian's to _irradiate _the most powerful wave of heat, of understanding.

It told Sebastian 'I got you', and it felt like a promise.

Sebastian couldn't really tell how long they laid there simply kissing. Soon enough, Kurt's soft strokes and caresses covered almost Sebastian's body on its full length, but it was never to take things too far.

It made him feel wanted, but not only in a physical way. It was mostly on an emotional one. It made him feel invited.

Sebastian didn't think anyone had ever made him feel like that. It was almost like Kurt just wanted to hold him in his arms, whether he had a hot body or not. It felt so little physical, even if physical was what they were doing now, that Sebastian eventually gave up trying to understanding it.

He stroked back, he kissed back, and held Kurt just as delicately in his arms. He couldn't help but feel a slight glint of pride, being able to reciprocate the love like that without trying to push things further.

That didn't mean it was less intense, though. The heat he was feeling was nothing but intensity. Intensity of emotions, such as trust, closeness and care.

Eventually their bodies became lazier and only their mouths managed to show that intensity for a bit longer. It didn't matter, though. The way their bodies kept communicating even when they were dozing off was enough.


End file.
